I don't know if I should waste time trying to explain the situation. Because like so many things in my life it just feels like a repeat, like it loops and it always goes the same way.
The bottom line is the title, I am tired of having to move on, to get over myself. I am tired of having to forget people.
There are so many faces and names, they are all in the past I should leave them there. But they are all in my head.
When I was in school people would tell me that I would find people like in in college and when I got into college people told me that, well college kids they all just want to drink and have fun, dont worry you will find your group eventually. But I won't I know I won't, it's just another excuse to get me to shut up.
I know it's my fault. But there is nothing I can do, I am not going to change who I am, I tried that in school and it didnt end well. No it ended with me under the staircase of my buling... then crying in the shower.
I stopped trying to make friends or date because it seemed stupid and pointless, and over the years no one has ever tried to approach me either, can't blame them I don't think I am a easy going ray of sunshine...not exactly approachable.
But I get so isolated so fucking lonely that eventually like once a year or every two years I will try...then I will fail, and will have a new face to forget.
Rationally I know being alone is bettter for me, but it still hurts, it just hurts less.
I wish I wasn't so weak. I am so tired. I cry so much.
The bottom line is the title, I am tired of having to move on, to get over myself. I am tired of having to forget people.
There are so many faces and names, they are all in the past I should leave them there. But they are all in my head.
When I was in school people would tell me that I would find people like in in college and when I got into college people told me that, well college kids they all just want to drink and have fun, dont worry you will find your group eventually. But I won't I know I won't, it's just another excuse to get me to shut up.
I know it's my fault. But there is nothing I can do, I am not going to change who I am, I tried that in school and it didnt end well. No it ended with me under the staircase of my buling... then crying in the shower.
I stopped trying to make friends or date because it seemed stupid and pointless, and over the years no one has ever tried to approach me either, can't blame them I don't think I am a easy going ray of sunshine...not exactly approachable.
But I get so isolated so fucking lonely that eventually like once a year or every two years I will try...then I will fail, and will have a new face to forget.
Rationally I know being alone is bettter for me, but it still hurts, it just hurts less.
I wish I wasn't so weak. I am so tired. I cry so much.
