Venting I am so pissed off!!!!!!

[Busridin'26]

Im so annoyed today and honestly while i can tell myself its bc of an overuse of a drug i inow damn fucking well its not.

Im so fucking pissed off. People in my life do not listen or take me seriously. I let them. Ive let them. I hate it all and im so fucking mad about it all. No point in talking because im not even fucking heard.

Im so fucking annoyed. UGHHHHHH and i just wanna use whatever i have to take it away bc honestly ive TRIED EVERYTHING. not much ti even try fuckkk i hate everything.

 

[moonsafari]

I'd be willing to listen to what you have to say but right now from your post, I don't understand what clearly you're frustrated about or who exactly is ignoring you. It might be communication issues that you need to work out in real life, and remember that suicide shouldn't ever be an option unless there's a 0.01% exception, ever. We're all here to listen to you if others don't, so there is a solution. Even if you think you tried everything there's always something else we can help you with.

lots of hugs and love <3

 

[Busridin'26]

I'm so annoyed today and honestly while I can tell myself its bc of an overuse of a drug I know damn fucking well it's not.

I'm so fucking pissed off. People in my life do not listen or take me seriously. I let them. I've let them. I hate it all and I'm so fucking mad about it all. No point in talking because I'm not even fucking heard.

I'm so fucking annoyed. ughhhhhh and I just wanna use whatever I have to take it away bc honestly, I've TRIED EVERYTHING. not much to even try fuckkk I hate everything.

Like so much physically is contributing to this but holy fuck
Little argument and honestly some time spent with a friend just made me so fucking triggered by MY WHOLE LIFE.

Like I've really just set such presence where it is starting to state anything strongly then im COMPLETELY IGNORED. like what am.i even doing? How can I say anyone loves me holy fuck.

Just angry at my life and tbh angry that I'm alive and this fucking stupid fucking virus came AT THE WORST TIME.

I was on.my way to being able to "live" enough so I can enjoy whatever I can and just get a fucking job and stop being so fucking poor and shit. Also, get money so I can fucking have the means to CTB.

Now I gotta just figure it out like even my "easy" last choice ixe method (Jumping) would be fucjing hard now bc everyone's watching everyone and police are all over open green spaces parks etc.

(Ps. I know my grammar, spelling and general sentence flow sucks ass sorry if it's difficult to read. I cannot be bothered.)

I'd be willing to listen to what you have to say but right now from your post, I don't understand what clearly you're frustrated about or who exactly is ignoring you. It might be communication issues that you need to work out in real life, and remember that suicide shouldn't ever be an option unless there's a 0.01% exception, ever. We're all here to listen to you if others don't, so there is a solution. Even if you think you tried everything there's always something else we can help you with.

lots of hugs and love <3

I am frustrated that ive lived a life of constant invalidation. Starting from my childhood. No one listens. Unless im.mad or sad or have some kind of reaction then its just a problem and im still ignored.

& thnx for the support and all but there no percentage for suicide and its a personal choice.
Im writing here bc that is my final choice ive decided to make. That will not be changing.

Its too late to be working out these issues in real life. I dont want to anymore and ive well had enough so im just venting.

All ive eevr wanted is just respect & consideration. Acceptance etc whatever.

 

[moonsafari]

Like so much physically is contributing to this but holy fuck
Little argument and honestly some time spent with a friend just made me so fucking triggered by MY WHOLE LIFE.

Like I've really just set such presence where it is starting to state anything strongly then im COMPLETELY IGNORED. like what am.i even doing? How can I say anyone loves me holy fuck.

Just angry at my life and tbh angry that I'm alive and this fucking stupid fucking virus came AT THE WORST TIME.

I was on.my way to being able to "live" enough so I can enjoy whatever I can and just get a fucking job and stop being so fucking poor and shit. Also, get money so I can fucking have the means to CTB.

Now I gotta just figure it out like even my "easy" last choice ixe method (Jumping) would be fucjing hard now bc everyone's watching everyone and police are all over open green spaces parks etc.

(Ps. I know my grammar, spelling and general sentence flow sucks ass sorry if it's difficult to read. I cannot be bothered.)

You shouldn't let yourself be triggered by other people, let alone one person. You can't control what they're saying or doing because maybe they're stupid and it is what it is. I've tried changing other people my whole life and it always turns out to be a waste of my energy and time because it is almost impossible to change/sway most people and that's the real truth. The reason you're so triggered right now is that you're allowing your friend and the difficulties of life to trigger you.

I hope you don't feel ignored on these forums. Again, lots of people here including me care about how you feel. I know there has to be someone out there who's willing to love you but perhaps you're not allowing them to love you. And look I didn't want this fucking virus to come either. It sucks ass and I can't even prearrange my funeral properly or go to the doctor to get a meto prescription for my SN. Just hang in there and we'll ALL get over coronavirus together and then we can do whatever we want after

 

[Busridin'26]

You shouldn't let yourself be triggered by other people, let alone one person. You can't control what they're saying or doing because maybe they're stupid and it is what it is. I've tried changing other people my whole life and it always turns out to be a waste of my energy and time because it is almost impossible to change/sway most people and that's the real truth. The reason you're so triggered right now is that you're allowing your friend and the difficulties of life to trigger you.

I hope you don't feel ignored on these forums. Again, lots of people here including me care about how you feel. I know there has to be someone out there who's willing to love you but perhaps you're not allowing them to love you. And look I didn't want this fucking virus to come either. It sucks ass and I can't even prearrange my funeral properly or go to the doctor to get a meto prescription for my SN. Just hang in there and we'll ALL get over coronavirus together and then we can do whatever we want after

Appreciate the enthusiasm but plz dont try and assume and then tell me what to do. Alot of assumptions and such that i dont feel like clarifying for you. Plz be aware when repsonding to people on here and the kind of language you use.

" I know there has to be someone out there who's willing to love you but perhaps you're not allowing them to love you" saying this to someone is so annoying under normal circumstances. Im not sitting waiting or even TRYING to find anyone to love me. I want to die. I don't care about people like that anymore.

Im not "letting" anyone trigger me. Im a human with emotionas and I repsond to things.

Also sorry to hear anything that this virus has fucked up but I AM NOT waiting this out nor do I feel any positivity or hope or any kind of enthusiasm towards surviving ANY OF THIS. Just the thought makes me want to THROW UP.

I feel ignored by everyone and as it should be bc it just pisses me off to hear from anyone after a certain point. Then i just become an asshole like now.

So thank you and i hope your life is the best it can be

 

[bpdandme]

Sending light