I am in extreme suffering.

[TheDog_]

I have no one else to vent to or talk to. I am in extreme suffering in this body. I am desperate to die. I try to speak to my parents but they shut the door on me, and my brother threatens to do awful things because I don't get better. Everyone blames me for getting sick and not coping with it. I'm supposed to be okay with how bad my body has gotten so I don't bother anybody else. I hate inspiration porn and some of the disability community for enforcing the idea that disability is not a burden. It is. I am in so much physical and mental anguish that I am desperate for relief. I will do anything at this point. If I try to find community online I'm shamed for not being not being proud. No one gets it. I can't convey into words how much pain I'm in. I fought so hard to have a good life and instead I lose my health and my life. I feel that I will hurt the next person who tells me that I just need a better mindset. I don't care if anybody else has it worse. Why can't my suffering be valid? I am reeking of pain.

 

[situationalsui]

I'm so sorry you are in such anguish and being met with invalidation, which only makes it so much worse. Being in constant physical or mental pain is a desperate place to be and I wish everyone including you (and me) who finds themselves there some alleviation of this horrible state or the peace of passing. In the very least we deserve to be seen in just how painful and awful it is, instead of all of the opposite reactions like you mention. My heart goes out to you.

 

[strawberry_lemons]

god i understand that, they dont understand how annoying it is to be told to rise above it all. i hope it gets better for you if you ever wanna talk im here <3

 

[リンさん]

I know you're probably tired of hearing this, but I am incredibly sorry for what's happening to you. I cannot even fathom just how much pain you must be in, and it always hurts so, so much when closest to us just shut the door on our problems and suffering. You are not at fault for what's happening. You are not at fault for being disabled and in pain. You deserve unconditional love, support and care.

I'm just an internet stranger, but I wish I could help. Sending you loads of virtual hugs (or any other form of comfort you'd prefer)

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds so horrible what you have to endure so I hope you eventually find the freedom you desperately search for, it disgusts me how many humans are just so insensitive. To me it truly is such a hellish world we exist in where people are just expected to suffer endlessly instead of having their wish to die respected.