I am done with hating myself 24/7. I can't bear it any longer and I will CTB in upcoming weeks. Body dysmorphobia disorder can go f*** yourself

[Qverty7455]

I am just done for good. Today I visited orthodontist it was my last chance. If they would help me I would probably try, but they told me I would need to pay a lot of money for the surgery + I would need way more surgeries to fix all my anomalies. I just don't want to hate myself 24/7 and imagine how life would be better if I was treated properly as a baby so my skull won't be odd. If I got braces as a kid, but my parents never cared about how I look and they never tried to improve anything on me. I came to conlusion that this is the only way to get out of this nightmare. I will never accept myself and I will never have the money to treat problems on my face and some of them can't be treated at all. I would like to live normal life but I never can. For someone this will be silly reason to CTB but every day is nightmare and regret. I can't even find girlfriend because my self esteem is 0. For someone who might want to comment that I should just start to accept myself...read something about body dysmorhphobic disorder first pretty please :(. It's not really that easy to defeat this illness and I failed.

This is my goodbye to everyone and to this forum. I will CTB hopefully in next weeks via SN method. I already have everything. I just need to figure things out and leave my house.
I wish that everyone there will find reasons to live and to be happy again. If your problems can't be solved and you are 100% sure that you want to CTB I wish you pleasant and peaceful exit and I hope that you will find peace on the other side.

Goodbye everyone ♥ thanks for all the help and support you have given me. See you on the other side.

 

[TAW122]

I'm sorry to hear about your condition and yes, it sucks as looks and appearances do matter IRL (despite what many people claim). I hope you are able to find peace in the coming weeks.

 

[charlottewilts]

damn, i'm really sorry to read this. it's especially terrible to hear that your conditions would've been prevented had your parents cared enough to fix them... i won't bother you with platitudes and baseless optimism, i'm sure you've heard enough of that stuff to last you several lifetimes. i hope everything works out for you and that you'll be able to find peace

 

[AlreadyGone]

I am sorry to hear this. I hope whatever path you choose helps end the suffering you have had to endure.

 

[Qverty7455]

damn, i'm really sorry to read this. it's especially terrible to hear that your conditions would've been prevented had your parents cared enough to fix them... i won't bother you with platitudes and baseless optimism, i'm sure you've heard enough of that stuff to last you several lifetimes. i hope everything works out for you and that you'll be able to find peace

well hard to say if prevented and it's up to doctors aswell :(( I read a lot about treatment via headgear in babies and it will make the head shape way better...mine is odd but in adult there is not much you can do unfortunately :( but I don't want to blame parents..I was just unlucky and they probably had other problems.

 

[Ghost2211]

That is a terrible burden to carry I'm so sorry how hurt you feel. If by chance you change your mind we are all here to talk. If you choose to CTB May you have a peaceful journey.

 

[Broken Chimera]

I hate that your life turned out wrong. I hope you find peace.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Hi. I have some kind of body dysmorphobia but it's because of an injury my right hemitorax is deformed and it annoys me somethimes when I look at it. My problem is more for the pain than appearance. I wish you the best with the SN method. It's hard to accept ourselves sometimes hope you tried your best before attempting.

 

[jgm63]

Wishing you a safe onward journey

 

[TheEndof]

I'm sorry. I wish you peace.

 

[Élégie]

I am so sorry... I have body dysmorphia too, so I know the struggle.
Sending you hugs.

 

[HadEnough1974]

I am just done for good. Today I visited orthodontist it was my last chance. If they would help me I would probably try, but they told me I would need to pay a lot of money for the surgery + I would need way more surgeries to fix all my anomalies. I just don't want to hate myself 24/7 and imagine how life would be better if I was treated properly as a baby so my skull won't be odd. If I got braces as a kid, but my parents never cared about how I look and they never tried to improve anything on me. I came to conlusion that this is the only way to get out of this nightmare. I will never accept myself and I will never have the money to treat problems on my face and some of them can't be treated at all. I would like to live normal life but I never can. For someone this will be silly reason to CTB but every day is nightmare and regret. I can't even find girlfriend because my self esteem is 0. For someone who might want to comment that I should just start to accept myself...read something about body dysmorhphobic disorder first pretty please :(. It's not really that easy to defeat this illness and I failed.

This is my goodbye to everyone and to this forum. I will CTB hopefully in next weeks via SN method. I already have everything. I just need to figure things out and leave my house.
I wish that everyone there will find reasons to live and to be happy again. If your problems can't be solved and you are 100% sure that you want to CTB I wish you pleasant and peaceful exit and I hope that you will find peace on the other side.

Goodbye everyone ♥ thanks for all the help and support you have given me. See you on the other side.

Body dysmorphic disorder can be extremely painful, leaving you with anxiety, depression and desperation. Always wondering if people are staring at you and noticing certain abnormalities.

If you don't mind, can I ask you a question?

Have you consulted with experts who specialize in this specific disorder? The average therapist /psychiatrist is usually clueless about the illness itself. They have never been in your skin.

If you already have consulted with such specialists and you feel it's not working, I understand and support whatever path you chose to take. Hugs.

 

[Fragile]

i'm so sorry to hear this, and i feel you, this is one of the shittiest things to have to live with. and hearing people saying that you should just get over it and accept yourself is hearth crushing, there is no empathy for the ones who have to live in a deformed body. i could easily live with the horrible pain and other symptoms of my illnesses if i at least looked normal in the mirror.

I wish that everything goes smoothly and that you find peace.

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

I totally get you on this, I have hated how I looked when I was a child and because of biology and evolotion mating is a BITCH! I dont believe in all the "people are shallow" shit, thats just a modern way to explain away our animal nature--------- we are attracted to what we are attracted to and that is goveren by forces in our brains we cant control. That being said, yeah being anything less than good looking puts one at a real disadvantage----- and ANYONE who tries to dispute this with the old threadbare "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" bullshit can behold thier ass right to hell... hahaha.

Sure there are a few conventionally unnatractive people who are successful in work and romance but for every one that succeeds thousands fall thru the craks into despair.

Congrats on taking control, of finding your own way to find relief. We didnt choose nothing about showing up here, and if you are from the culture I am from in the USA, all your told is "make the best of it.." HA!

Honey, may you catch your bus making the very best of it........ x0x0x0x0x0

 

[Qverty7455]

Body dysmorphic disorder can be extremely painful, leaving you with anxiety, depression and desperation. Always wondering if people are staring at you and noticing certain abnormalities.

If you don't mind, can I ask you a question?

Have you consulted with experts who specialize in this specific disorder? The average therapist /psychiatrist is usually clueless about the illness itself. They have never been in your skin.

If you already have consulted with such specialists and you feel it's not working, I understand and support whatever path you chose to take. Hugs.

well I had some psychiatrists in the past and I have 3 suicide attempts so I was in a psych ward 3 times. They tried to talk to me about it. They kept saying that I look very good and they don't understand how can I hate myself. I know it's in my head but I just can't accept myself. I don't think there is someone in our country who specialize in this problem unfortunately. And I don't know how they would help me anyway...I have my own eyes and mind so they can't talk me out of it. Only thing that would help me is to get rid of the flaws but there are so many of them I won't ever be able to. You can't read much stuff about this illness in our language so it's probably not well known in there :///

 

[_Minsk]

I am just done for good. Today I visited orthodontist it was my last chance. If they would help me I would probably try, but they told me I would need to pay a lot of money for the surgery + I would need way more surgeries to fix all my anomalies. I just don't want to hate myself 24/7 and imagine how life would be better if I was treated properly as a baby so my skull won't be odd. If I got braces as a kid, but my parents never cared about how I look and they never tried to improve anything on me. I came to conlusion that this is the only way to get out of this nightmare. I will never accept myself and I will never have the money to treat problems on my face and some of them can't be treated at all. I would like to live normal life but I never can. For someone this will be silly reason to CTB but every day is nightmare and regret. I can't even find girlfriend because my self esteem is 0. For someone who might want to comment that I should just start to accept myself...read something about body dysmorhphobic disorder first pretty please :(. It's not really that easy to defeat this illness and I failed.

This is my goodbye to everyone and to this forum. I will CTB hopefully in next weeks via SN method. I already have everything. I just need to figure things out and leave my house.
I wish that everyone there will find reasons to live and to be happy again. If your problems can't be solved and you are 100% sure that you want to CTB I wish you pleasant and peaceful exit and I hope that you will find peace on the other side.

Goodbye everyone ♥ thanks for all the help and support you have given me. See you on the other side.

this brought up my tears, you're such a loving person, it just hurts to see the ones who are loving and caring that much having the most cruel things to deal with:(
i hope you can make the best out of you remaining time

 

[HadEnough1974]

well I had some psychiatrists in the past and I have 3 suicide attempts so I was in a psych ward 3 times. They tried to talk to me about it. They kept saying that I look very good and they don't understand how can I hate myself. I know it's in my head but I just can't accept myself. I don't think there is someone in our country who specialize in this problem unfortunately. And I don't know how they would help me anyway...I have my own eyes and mind so they can't talk me out of it. Only thing that would help me is to get rid of the flaws but there are so many of them I won't ever be able to. You can't read much stuff about this illness in our language so it's probably not well known in there :///

Which country are you in?

 

[Lostandfound7]

So sorry my Love..can I ask what country ur in n help u with researching some options in surgery?? U would b surprised at the nonprofit organizations that will help in situations like this ..let's give this another shot n then u can decide either way..

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I found this video and read CTB insted of CBT and inmediately thought about this site