I am confused about love

[Flame]

Hey people I just want to throw this into to the room, maybe somebody can help me!
so some backstory:

When I was in middle and high school I crushed about some girls (like 1 per year on average) I even did write a love letter with roses etc on Valentine's Day once.
The thing is, after all these 4 crushes they all rejected me, which felt and still feels so bad. It doesn't made it better during corona time where I had another crush on a girl I met on discord (okay I know that sounds dumb) and we were such good friends. We shared hours on a call, played games together etc. And then I noticed this feeling, the feeling that I like her more than just friends. I thought what do I do and told another person m, which well…told her that and yeah in the end she rejected me too and it just blow my heart away. It lead to me closing my feelings in, especially the feeling of love, so I cannot be hurt anymore. Now I got problems even start to love anybody, I don't want to, because I does not want to get hurt, but on the flipside I have many days where I thought how lonely it is without a partner, so I kind of want it too?

I am just confused about myself and I have troubles even confessing to myself, that I feel something, which I then suppress.
Even if I would accept that feeling, I never confessed the girls my feelings in their face, just with weird routes sometimes, because I have such an anxiety now to get rejected.

Do you people here know a way to handle this fear? To handle suppresed feelings, like I do have?

 

[Mirrory Me]

There are probably many different ways to proceed in the game, but you should start with self-confidence.

Please visit wikiHow directly

 

[daocreator]

Hey people I just want to throw this into to the room, maybe somebody can help me!
so some backstory:

When I was in middle and high school I crushed about some girls (like 1 per year on average) I even did write a love letter with roses etc on Valentine's Day once.
The thing is, after all these 4 crushes they all rejected me, which felt and still feels so bad. It doesn't made it better during corona time where I had another crush on a girl I met on discord (okay I know that sounds dumb) and we were such good friends. We shared hours on a call, played games together etc. And then I noticed this feeling, the feeling that I like her more than just friends. I thought what do I do and told another person m, which well…told her that and yeah in the end she rejected me too and it just blow my heart away. It lead to me closing my feelings in, especially the feeling of love, so I cannot be hurt anymore. Now I got problems even start to love anybody, I don't want to, because I does not want to get hurt, but on the flipside I have many days where I thought how lonely it is without a partner, so I kind of want it too?

I am just confused about myself and I have troubles even confessing to myself, that I feel something, which I then suppress.
Even if I would accept that feeling, I never confessed the girls my feelings in their face, just with weird routes sometimes, because I have such an anxiety now to get rejected.

Do you people here know a way to handle this fear? To handle suppresed feelings, like I do have?

Well, to be honest, it just depends on whether or not you truly want to get into all of this.

First off, all of what I'm about to say is from a personal opinion. You can either take it seriously or just ignore it, idm.

Anyway! Romance, or love, isn't something that should be considered when you're in a busy time of your life. You would get into a huge hole of: talking to a new woman, seeing if this one would understand me and perhaps even connect with me, meet up, repeat.

If you have plenty of free time on your hands, I'd pretty much say go ahead and try to release those suppressed feelings! You definitely have the right to experience what others had, and although it's hard to find someone who matches, it will take time and would be worthwhile.


As for my second part, it's about suppressed emotions. If you're antisocial, make yourself social. If you're shy, force yourself into. Situations you wouldn't put yourself into in a million years. I had a heavy dissociation disorder (and still do, although to a lesser extent) but I only improved it by participating in a social event once, which I'd never consider doing.

This might be a little forceful of a way to handle that side, but sadly I, myself, haven't felt anything in years (of course other than loneliness and other stuff). Which is, mostly my fault. But that'd turn this into a personal thread if I were to talk about it.

Anyway, I wish you best in finding what you're looking for. Just remember that anything that you see, whether on social media or common-days society, is very fake. Don't higher your expectations on what a relationship would be only to be ultimately disappointed.
(Oh, and I myself haven't had a relationship in my life! Coaches don't play, haha)

 

[Slow_Farewell]

As cliche as this sounds, work on you first. Once you've done that, your self confidence will develop as well.
Stop watching movies/listening to emotionally charged songs about love, etc. It's media designed to play on your emotional side.
Study the brain and how it works to know your triggers.
Have a clear idea of what you want in someone else. Typically people go "Oh, it doesn't matter what they look like, as long as they are kind, have a sense of humor, etc".

Yeah, sure.right.

 

[mortuarymary]

As cliche as this sounds, work on you first. Once you've done that, your self confidence will develop as well.
Stop watching movies/listening to emotionally charged songs about love, etc. It's media designed to play on your emotional side.
Study the brain and how it works to know your triggers.
Have a clear idea of what you want in someone else. Typically people go "Oh, it doesn't matter what they look like, as long as they are kind, have a sense of humor, etc".

Yeah, sure.right.

This exactly x