Jun 29, 2018
I feel like I have been cursed to live a sickly miserable life though I was destined for much greater things after finishing college and having a good career, I had surgery for my urological problem that I traveled halfway across the country for and revealed a major blockage that had been going on for at least four and a half years since I got sick. I then got addicted to all the pills they were giving me and became an addict dependent on them all through the day. One night I fell asleep wrong and completely fucked up my arm and it is barely responding to physical therapy I am doing daily and vigorously. What in the fucking hell did I do deserve this God? I don't remember making a deal with the devil and worked hard for everything I earned. Fuck this whole worldwide system of putting on a face of democracy but living under the rule of the elites. I am absolutely done with this shit. Fuck my maker which probably doesn't exist and just put my lights out somehow.


Jan 20, 2020
It’s sad how many lives were ruined from prescription pain meds. it’s still a major ongoing issue. I can understand your anger. It’s cruel and unfair what it does to people. I hope physical
therapy improves things for you over time.


Afraid of life... scared to sleep...
Oct 23, 2020
That pain is real. I went under anesthesia once. When I woke up I instantly started crying cause I was shocked. I begged for my boyfriend until he came in. The story after that is basically the same. I too became an addict... I too feel asleep on my hand and it's now partially paralyzed...

Point here is this. If we look back on life and add everything up to current, maybe not you, but I feel like ifGod existed, well he/she sure has it out for me.

We have somehow made it to today, but how? In my life I feel so much pain everyday that I just can't even focus on everyday tasks... my poor boyfriend sits at my side and watches as I cry, neglecting him and myself.

Why do we get chopped up into groups... the happy, the sad... I sure as hell didn't ask for a life like this...

My arms are stretched out to you. I'll hold you close during this season of giving... even if nobody else will.