Was a fatherly figure somewhat absent when you grew up? Just wild guess no offense or disrespect in anyway. Sometimes we chase what we lacked in the early ages. We are all driven to recreate the dynamic of our first wound, so we can change the ending. He was nice to you not because of him, but because of you, girl! You deserve to be treated nicely. Get used to people treating you nicely and have so much love and compassion for yourself! I promise you it will pass. I know from my own experience. You can talk to me if you need someone to talk to. Wish you well and sending you love and light :)
@LadyApple I grew up with no father. He left my mother for another woman to start a new life with. He knows I exist and does not even care. All my life I have been that girl now woman who was always ignored, overlooked, unappreciated and humiliated by guys while all the girls and women got to experience real male love and appreciation. Then finally one guy turns up being so nice and caring towards me.
In beginning I loved how he was always messaging me and remembering things I said in previous conversations. When I told him my throat was sore in a conversation the next day at work he asked how I was feeling. It was just those things I loved. For once in my life I was no longer that invisible woman and it felt soooo great. I finally thought I will finally find someone who will love me.
I am attracted to men my age group and also older men depending on their personality and how well they clean up their appearance.
Work romances are a bad idea in general in my opinion. When I used to work in big corpos I'd have to deal with stuff like this on a daily basis, but I refused to get involved with anyone at my work places because if it doesn't work out or if you fight, it will make work become awkward and uncomfortable.
@Iionetta12 100% true right now things at work are now awkward between me and him. After our conversation when I found out he is back with his girlfriend I stopped talking to him at work and avoided him it is easy to do since we both work from home. Then 2 days later he messages me for a meeting asking for help about his cases.
I was shocked because he NEVER asks for my help regarding case work. Anyway I agreed to the meeting and I was dominant throughout. I quicked asked " what help do you need " and I just kept making sure discussion was about the work only. I have now laid boundaries with him telling him if he wants to talk about work then he needs to book a meeting with me and I explained I am very busy with case work.
Currently we are both civil with each other and work relations are good and stable. I am keeping that way. I am now building friendships with other work colleagues because I am now trying to move on and start again.
@FireFox even though this is a situation that sucks, you should actually be proud with the way that you handled this, because sometimes when we are attracted to people and we get hurt we tend to get a little crazy, fall off the deep end get really depressed and do stupid things to try and heal our pain. I noticed you said that you can't give something a 55-year-old cant. An older person would probably be jealous they can't give something a younger person can and would probably be jealous of a younger women. He clearly wanted to have his cake and eat it too.
Your youth is a positive, not a negative (make the most of it!)
That woman is tied down now, whereas you have your whole future ahead of you, which I know is said maybe too frequently, but you have the opportunity to create your own life and your future.
Don't allow an older person to ruin your self-esteem. I think you showed great strength here. I think you'll bounce back very well.
Chalk this up to a learning experience.
It's his loss.
@Againstthewind I am trying so hard not to be jealous of his girlfriend who is her in 50s just like him but it is so hard because she can give him the comfortable living he desires and satisfy him whereas I can not because I am 25 years old. I am jealous of a woman in her 50s because I can't compete. The gf owns a property aboard, she has more in common with regarding loss of parents( the man lost his elderly father last year and the woman lost her mother a couple of years ago) whereas both my parents are still alive and they have been friends with each other for over 20 years.
It is upsets me realising she is better than me. I am now trying to move on and start again.
Sorry you went through this. Age difference can be a challenge for all sorts of reasons, but love can be a challenge no matter what - you are young and might certainly have an opportunity to find the right person… I hope you do…
@Fadeawaaaay Thanks
it felt sooooo great finally having a guy chase after me, compliment me and caring about me all my all my life I have been that girl now woman who was always ignored, overlooked, unappreciated and humiliated by guys while all the girls and women got to experience real male love and appreciation.
It felt so good no longer being the invisible woman. I thought finally I have met someone and a chance to experience love something which all the other women my age group got to have.
I think now I was born to be rejected and unworthy of male love. I plan to catch the bus in my 30s because I don't want to go through another decade of being single especially at the age group where everyone is married.
You sound lovely (not for me i cant but i like bitches) let me know if after responses how (mentally) you are thinking/feeling? You are too vulnerable. Please respond. xxx
@lukas19 At work I have been now trying build new friendships and it is going very well. This week I bonded with one work colleague in her 20s about travel. Throughout the entire January I was living and remote working in Zambia and my work colleague she went to Mexico in the beginning of January for a holiday. We both shared our travel stories. I came back to the UK on Tuesday
I bonded with another colleague in their 20s and we talked about our case loads and how crazy some of the customers in our cases are. I am making plans for the future I am currently trying to get my drivers license and applying for a masters degree. I plan to do more traveling throughout this year.
The day I came back to the UK that is when I found out he has got back with his girlfriend. He was someone I was so excited to see back and to catch him was a devastating blow. I got suspicious of his behaviour because his behaviour towards me just changed throughout January. I sensed something was not right. He was never going to tell me truth so I set the trap for him when I came back to the UK.
I am trying not to be jealous of his girlfriend who is her in 50s just like him but it is so hard she can give him the comfortable living he desires and satisfy him whereas I can not because I am 25 years old. I am jealous of a woman in her 50s because I can't compete. The gf owns a property aboard, she has more in common with regarding loss of parents( the man lost his elderly father last year and the woman lost her mother a couple of years ago) whereas both my parents are still alive and they have been friends with each other for over 20 years.
It is upsets me realising she is better than me and the one chosen by him.
oh my god I can soooo relate to this. I first met him at an office day my workplace organised. We all work from home. He is tall, laid back, healthy glow and lovely green eyes. He noticeable grey hairs overlapping his dark colour hair but still I didn't find an issue. He looks like he is in 40s. I was wearing purple lipstick, purple lacy dress and was interacting with other people in the workplace.
