I always quit things. College, coding, life...

[Mustkeyknow]

I'm a quitter. I was raised a quitter. Knowing it doesn't really matter because the fact doesn't change, but I think that's why I'm depressed. I never really finished anything. I barely finished college with a shitty gpa. I wonder if achievers get depressed. I really don't think they do, do they?

 

[Life_and_Death]

robin williams achieved a lot in life. he was still depressed. so are a lot of other famous/rich people.

 

[agentgeez]

I always thought of it as depressed people quit/happy people achieve. It makes more sense to me in terms of a causal relationship, since a happy person would be more well equipped to do things, and doing things doesn't necessarily make you happy as mentioned above. Regardless, there's a reason why you quit, and if it's something that affects all aspects of your life rather than those individual things not being for you, then I think the best thing to do is to try and fix that before you launch yourself into new things, if you're still semi-interested in trying to do things, that is. Some people might feel nothing in life is for them, so it's pretty hard to determine if there's a state-of-mind that allows you to enjoy and keep at things that is still within the realm of possibility for you, but if you feel that it's worth it, then it could be worth looking into certain issues, perhaps something that's affecting your biology or a psychological issue for example, in order to make you more generally motivated. Either way, don't worry about being a 'quitter'; life is about finding the path that makes you the happiest, and quitting things you hate can help you with this.

 

[TAW122]

I quit a lot of things in life too, including one of my most precious hobbies (playing the piano). I quit due to many circumstances that robbed my joy of playing and performing. I decided that the stress and loss of enjoyment is not worth pursuing it further and it is one of my stronger reasons for wanting to CTB.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I too have a tendency to quit things. I get bored or I find a particular aspect of it too difficult or unpleasant, and I just quit to relieve the discomfort. It has been a huge problem for me, but how can I change it? I don't know and I don't think anyone else does either, otherwise it would be advertised everywhere.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

I'm a quitter. I was raised a quitter. Knowing it doesn't really matter because the fact doesn't change, but I think that's why I'm depressed. I never really finished anything. I barely finished college with a shitty gpa. I wonder if achievers get depressed. I really don't think they do, do they?

Coding? As in programming? I had a friend who became suicidal from it

 

[Mustkeyknow]

robin williams achieved a lot in life. he was still depressed. so are a lot of other famous/rich people.

Because he was severely indebted and had a terminal disease, at least that's what his last days book said

Coding? As in programming? I had a friend who became suicidal from it

Really? Holy shit.

 

[Deleted-User-0]

I'm a quitter. I was raised a quitter. Knowing it doesn't really matter because the fact doesn't change, but I think that's why I'm depressed. I never really finished anything. I barely finished college with a shitty gpa. I wonder if achievers get depressed. I really don't think they do, do they?

Chester Bennington, Curt Cobain, Kate Spade, Avicci ( the list goes on ) were among 100's of high achievers who committed suicide.
The external world wouldn't matter much when one is broken/dead inside.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

Because he was severely indebted and had a terminal disease, at least that's what his last days book said


Really? Holy shit.

There are others who were financially stable but still depressed... so many... Avicii, Anthony Bourdain, Chester Bennington, Kate Spade, Ben Keough, Hilary Tisch and many others, please help me out if others have more examples.

Ofc, I mean staring at loops for months and not making heads or tails of them will make anyone go in a bad spot

 

[Incorrigible77777]

That doesn't matter. I graduated from college with 4.0. I work as programmer at some of FAAMG. And so what, now I'm also here and I'm still planning to end my life soon. I had miserable family and childhood. Especially the past year has been really disastrous to me. Things happening around have been telling me that I'm done with my life and it's time to wrap it up.

 

[alexit]

You mentioned quitting coding. It took me 11 years to learn how to code. Now, I'm a professional developer. And you can bet I get depressed. They're really separate issues. Coding is hard. If you want I can offer some resources. If that's something you want, it's important to remember not all courses and ways of learning are equal. Some are a lot better.

 

[Deleted-User-0]

Forgot to mention that I'm an experienced developer as well and just like @Incorrigible77777 here to find the best way out.

 

[Jumper Geo]

Don't forget the perfectionists in life and work, everything has to be perfect in there own mind and if they are given difficult, impossible tasks they soon crack and suffer stress and depression.

Some times it's easier to quit I've thrown in the towel a few times when I was younger but as I was getting older I wanted to challenge myself and I did mentally and physically.

Cheers

Geo

 

[fluffysuicidalbear]

Coding? As in programming? I had a friend who became suicidal from it

Became suicidal from coding? If you don't mind me asking, what happened?

 

[Mustkeyknow]

You mentioned quitting coding. It took me 11 years to learn how to code. Now, I'm a professional developer. And you can bet I get depressed. They're really separate issues. Coding is hard. If you want I can offer some resources. If that's something you want, it's important to remember not all courses and ways of learning are equal. Some are a lot better.

Yeah if you have some resources I would appreciate them tyvm

 

[alexit]

Don't forget the perfectionists in life and work, everything has to be perfect in there own mind and if they are given difficult, impossible tasks they soon crack and suffer stress and depression.

Some times it's easier to quit I've thrown in the towel a few times when I was younger but as I was getting older I wanted to challenge myself and I did mentally and physically.

Cheers

Geo

I love the quote from Ze Frank, Perfection looks good, but he's an asshole and no one invites him to their party.
And college is overrated. You don't need it in every profession to succeed.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

Became suicidal from coding? If you don't mind me asking, what happened?

It started when he was under some deadline and his bosses were putting pressure on him. He started talking to himself and dreaming of... coding. I guess he was sleep-deprived. He had like a psychosis or fugue state and became incoherent and hallucinated. When I spoke to him he said he'd jump off a bridge. I called his parents (back then I was a prolifer) and he got help and changed jobs (still coding tho) and now he is very happy. I hope I helped and did not harm.

 

[waterbottleman]

I wish I had the work ethic and focus to be a coder.

It doesn't surprise me that people can get depressed from coding. It takes A LOT of practice, coding is hard, a lot of out of the box thinking (unless you're doing easy shit where you can just stackexchange almost everything), it requires a lot of mental focus.

I've tried becoming a programmer but it's a problem of motivation for me. I just can't get myself to sit and focus for hours and hours. Also debugging is a royal pain in the ass and it just kills your soul it's so boring.

 

[SoIntoYou]

I'm a quitter. I was raised a quitter. Knowing it doesn't really matter because the fact doesn't change, but I think that's why I'm depressed. I never really finished anything. I barely finished college with a shitty gpa. I wonder if achievers get depressed. I really don't think they do, do they?

Quitting things like career skills and societal expectations is a natural thought that's lost in an unnatural matrix-like society. One of the biggest problems with our situation right now is that people are, by nature, very trusting. We are born into a state of complete trust, and many have taken advantage of this natural state of mind, to the point where the biggest mistake people make in today's society is place trust in things and people they shouldn't. Your schools, your government, sometimes your parents, your friends. Dude, you've been lied to so much, that the lies seem like the truth, given that there is so much more untruth than truth out there. You were raised to think that if you work hard, make the right decisions, and follow the plan, your life will turn out. It was a lie. I understand how such a revelation can be utterly depressing. I recently went through an experience where I realized that something I was trying to be for pretty much 99% of my life was a waste of my life. It literally blew a hole in my chest and made me feel the worst I'd ever felt in my entire life. Ever since I dropped out of University 10 years ago, I've been aimlessly wandering around life, doing bare-minimum part-time online stuff just to make my mom happy. I don't feel bad about it at all, because I know the truth.
Something big is coming - globally, so I'd be more concerned about that. Things could get A LOT worse, or the people of the world could flip the game table. We'll see.

 

[FriendofDeath]

Seemingly happy people ctb often. They are great at hiding what their brain is telling them. Someone mentioned perfection - there are those who feel a complete failure if they make a mistake, and that's enough to send them over the edge. We had a 7th grader with the whole world in front of him go to his father's study, grabbed a gun and was gone. There is no real way to know what might trigger someone. I think these are mostly the impulsives. I recently saw a story about a young woman, 17, that appeared happy and content. They found a few journals and in one of them she mentioned how much she had hated a concert she went to with her father, though there are pictures that show her smiling and laughing.

I have been depressed most of my life, but I was a high achiever as a young person. I was active, did pretty well at school, and was full of ideas and iniative. But inside I knew it was never enough. I no longer reach for the stars - I just take one step at a time and one breath at a time. I'm not living, I'm surviving.

Just an aside about Robin Williams. I did some reading and research on his situation. The syndrome he had was going to kill him. His life expectancy was 4 years. I did not read a book on him - it was actually his autopsy. I have no idea why I looked into it, and then I was surprised by how much personal information on his death was available.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Maybe it's lack of motivation. You should experience pleasure while doing those activities.

 

[fluffysuicidalbear]

It started when he was under some deadline and his bosses were putting pressure on him. He started talking to himself and dreaming of... coding. I guess he was sleep-deprived. He had like a psychosis or fugue state and became incoherent and hallucinated. When I spoke to him he said he'd jump off a bridge. I called his parents (back then I was a prolifer) and he got help and changed jobs (still coding tho) and now he is very happy. I hope I helped and did not harm.

I'm sorry to hear that happened, I can see how that could happen to someone put under pressure like that. I'm glad to hear he is happy now though!

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I'm a quitter. I was raised a quitter. Knowing it doesn't really matter because the fact doesn't change, but I think that's why I'm depressed. I never really finished anything. I barely finished college with a shitty gpa. I wonder if achievers get depressed. I really don't think they do, do they?

Funny that you should say that. I'm an (over-)achiever who has spent basically his entire adult life depressed. I've often wondered if people who don't put so much stock in "achieving" just don't have to deal with this. Maybe I wouldn't be so bad if I didn't care so much?

To your points about yourself, though, are you sure that really defines you? Is it perhaps that you just haven't found the right opportunities yet — things about which you can be truly passionate? Maybe there are psychological elements standing in the way of your success, like ADD or similar conditions. Also, it's easy to discount our successes sometimes when our failures weigh so heavily. I bet you have many successes in your life. Don't count yourself out yet. To me, you sound like someone who is aching to achieve something really meaningful.

 

[Mustkeyknow]

Funny that you should say that. I'm an (over-)achiever who has spent basically his entire adult life depressed. I've often wondered if people who don't put so much stock in "achieving" just don't have to deal with this. Maybe I wouldn't be so bad if I didn't care so much?

To your points about yourself, though, are you sure that really defines you? Is it perhaps that you just haven't found the right opportunities yet — things about which you can be truly passionate? Maybe there are psychological elements standing in the way of your success, like ADD or similar conditions. Also, it's easy to discount our successes sometimes when our failures weigh so heavily. I bet you have many successes in your life. Don't count yourself out yet. To me, you sound like someone who is aching to achieve something really meaningful.

I tried to do what i wanted but I couldn't due to financial reasons so I quit. Now I'm 33 almost 34 and I have to start over. I am defeated by life's circumstances it's just so unfair. I always wondered what would happened if I was smart but I will never know so what's the point. What's the point now?

 

[Jojo81]

I too have a tendency to quit things. I get bored or I find a particular aspect of it too difficult or unpleasant, and I just quit to relieve the discomfort. It has been a huge problem for me, but how can I change it? I don't know and I don't think anyone else does either, otherwise it would be advertised everywhere.

Hello there... Am just an exact copy.. I always feel I start everything good and when it gets difficult I just quit.. Currently am thinking about quitting life, because I quit my good job.. But I had enjoyed my 40 years of living... I love my parents so much... But thinking about how hard they worked to bring me up, I feel like doing a mistake by ctb

 

[thx1138]

I have fear of failure AND fear of success. I always quit stuff too.

 

[kcn2020]

I dropped out my math degree in a top university. I have had introductory courses in Java while still at school, and I decided to carry on and learn coding. It took me one year to catch up, and I joined a CS degree in last year, and I also dropped out.

Eventually, I was able to get a job, even though my resume is not that consistent. I was even well paid for a first job. Then everything became easier and I was having some kind of work routine. But covid-19 fucked everything up.

 

[Commitmentphile101]

I dropped out my math degree in a top university. I have had introductory courses in Java while still at school, and I decided to carry on and learn coding. It took me one year to catch up, and I joined a CS degree in last year, and I also dropped out.

Eventually, I was able to get a job, even though my resume is not that consistent. I was even well paid for a first job. Then everything became easier and I was having some kind of work routine. But covid-19 fucked everything up.

Sad times, I'm sorry to hear it, what university was it? I managed to finish the degree (Also math) and also a top uni but I crawled to the finish line with an unimpressive gpa (as you would call it in America) or at least the equivalent here in the U.K where I am. I got to the end with the help of helpful lecturers and the safety net the university had imposed to protect from failing finals due to COVID.
You cannot battle this kind of stuff in your head and push your mind to its intellectual limit at the same time. I will fix what's happened and luckily because of finishing at least do a masters in CS elsewhere when I am ready and I have fixed these personal problems.
I hope you solve your problems too. Have you heard of Oregon State online CS Bachelors which can be done intensively in 15 months? That way you wont feel trapped for 3-4 years and it's a legit degree?

 

[NikBlack]

I'm a quitter. I was raised a quitter. Knowing it doesn't really matter because the fact doesn't change, but I think that's why I'm depressed. I never really finished anything. I barely finished college with a shitty gpa. I wonder if achievers get depressed. I really don't think they do, do they?

I don't know why I'm depressed, I've been this way for years now. Fortunately I haven't let it come in the way others perceive me. To the naked eye people think I'm good at academics, have a good body, even a girlfriend. On the inside I just want to kill myself and I'm even more motivated now because the last college I applied to just turned me down idk why. So yeah maybe we don't know what someone's going through, so we assume they're all round achievers and things are fine and dandy. I hope this helps, and wish you well.