Venting i always embarrass myself

[anonymouswebuser]

i was venting to someone and was basically throwing hints that i'm not feeling fine lately

they snapped. they embarrassed me and straight up told me that i was annoying them

i never learn from my mistakes.
i promised myself i wouldn't open up to that specific person because this wasn't the first time this happened but i did open up again and ended up embarrassing myself in the process
i loved them so much but they always embarrass me in other subtle ways and usually would never even reply to me
everytime i say i'll stop talking to them, i end up doing the exact opposite
i even apologize to them constantly that i might be annoying and cringey and for them have to tolerate me
i don't know if i got the wrong message from them just because they gave me a little bit of attention and treated me so nicely when i was craving that treatment for so long.
i don't even constantly talk to them, i usually wait until they start a conversation first, in case they don't feel interested to talk to me when i start a conversation all the time
but lately they've been treating me so differently for a while now
they're the only person i have.

sorry this thread is so messy but i'm just so distracted

 

[Shroomsonmyhead]

i was venting to someone and was basically throwing hints that i'm not feeling fine lately

they snapped. they embarrassed me and straight up told me that i was annoying them

i never learn from my mistakes.
i promised myself i wouldn't open up to that specific person because this wasn't the first time this happened but i did open up again and ended up embarrassing myself in the process
i loved them so much but they always embarrass me in other subtle ways and usually would never even reply to me
everytime i say i'll stop talking to them, i end up doing the exact opposite
i even apologize to them constantly that i might be annoying and cringey and for them have to tolerate me
i don't know if i got the wrong message from them just because they gave me a little bit of attention and treated me so nicely when i was craving that treatment for so long.
i don't even constantly talk to them, i usually wait until they start a conversation first, in case they don't feel interested to talk to me when i start a conversation all the time
but lately they've been treating me so differently for a while now
they're the only person i have.

sorry this thread is so messy but i'm just so distracted

I've got a friend who very often has this exact same problem:

He used to always vent to his bf, but his bf never knew how to properly verbalize to him whenever he needed space, so my friend would always end up venting to his bf until he'd suddenly explode and say he was annoying him, after which my friend would inevitably be left devastated.

Here's the thing that I always wonder about: Is my friend at fault for venting too much, or is my friend's bf at fault for not knowing how to express that he needs space before getting angry?

Personally, I'm not really sure... but I tend to think that it's a mix of both. How much venting is appropriate and tolerable for one person is often very, very different than how much is tolerable for another.

I personally have a rather high tolerance for venting, so my friend eventually ended up splitting the difference and venting to me after we had a discussion about it. It's a lot easier to manage our emotions when the weight of doing so is split among multiple people, haha. (And I don't mind it because it always gives me a chance to catch up on how my friend is doing!)

If you also find that you need someone to talk to right now and you are still afraid of bothering your friend, my PMs are always open.

But I understand that venting to a random user on SS is never ideal. As well-intentioned as people on this site tend to be… everyone typically wants to open up to people they trust, not to absolute strangers, haha.

Regardless, I hope it all works out for you!

 

[anonymouswebuser]

I've got a friend who very often has this exact same problem:

He used to always vent to his bf, but his bf never knew how to properly verbalize to him whenever he needed space, so my friend would always end up venting to his bf until he'd suddenly explode and say he was annoying him, after which my friend would inevitably be left devastated.

Here's the thing that I always wonder about: Is my friend at fault for venting too much, or is my friend's bf at fault for not knowing how to express that he needs space before getting angry?

Personally, I'm not really sure... but I tend to think that it's a mix of both. How much venting is appropriate and tolerable for one person is often very, very different than how much is tolerable for another.

I personally have a rather high tolerance for venting, so my friend eventually ended up splitting the difference and venting to me after we had a discussion about it. It's a lot easier to manage our emotions when the weight of doing so is split among multiple people, haha. (And I don't mind it because it always gives me a chance to catch up on how my friend is doing!)

If you also find that you need someone to talk to right now and you are still afraid of bothering your friend, my PMs are always open.

But I understand that venting to a random user on SS is never ideal. As well-intentioned as people on this site tend to be… everyone typically wants to open up to people they trust, not to absolute strangers, haha.

Regardless, I hope it all works out for you!

Thank you for your offer, I'll look forward to it when I need to once again
I hope you and your friend are doing well, too

 

[shrizoid]

i was venting to someone and was basically throwing hints that i'm not feeling fine lately

they snapped. they embarrassed me and straight up told me that i was annoying them

i never learn from my mistakes.
i promised myself i wouldn't open up to that specific person because this wasn't the first time this happened but i did open up again and ended up embarrassing myself in the process
i loved them so much but they always embarrass me in other subtle ways and usually would never even reply to me
everytime i say i'll stop talking to them, i end up doing the exact opposite
i even apologize to them constantly that i might be annoying and cringey and for them have to tolerate me
i don't know if i got the wrong message from them just because they gave me a little bit of attention and treated me so nicely when i was craving that treatment for so long.
i don't even constantly talk to them, i usually wait until they start a conversation first, in case they don't feel interested to talk to me when i start a conversation all the time
but lately they've been treating me so differently for a while now
they're the only person i have.

sorry this thread is so messy but i'm just so distracted

I dealt with this last year, alot, truth is: Most people just don't care to hear about the troubles for others and will just distance or burst depending on the severity, and then theres other who are able to take it but don't know how to actually respond and end up growing annoyed instead, I just learned to start keeping my issues to myself, or a kind of desperate option that embarrassed me a bit is try venting to an AI, I know exactly how you feel as Ive had multiple people do this to me so my pms are open as well if you need somebody but its just that most people cant handle it or don't care enough to handle it, I wouldn't blame myself too much if I were you

 

[mysticatedwine]

i was venting to someone and was basically throwing hints that i'm not feeling fine lately

they snapped. they embarrassed me and straight up told me that i was annoying them

i never learn from my mistakes.
i promised myself i wouldn't open up to that specific person because this wasn't the first time this happened but i did open up again and ended up embarrassing myself in the process
i loved them so much but they always embarrass me in other subtle ways and usually would never even reply to me
everytime i say i'll stop talking to them, i end up doing the exact opposite
i even apologize to them constantly that i might be annoying and cringey and for them have to tolerate me
i don't know if i got the wrong message from them just because they gave me a little bit of attention and treated me so nicely when i was craving that treatment for so long.
i don't even constantly talk to them, i usually wait until they start a conversation first, in case they don't feel interested to talk to me when i start a conversation all the time
but lately they've been treating me so differently for a while now
they're the only person i have.

sorry this thread is so messy but i'm just so distracted

It's hard being alone. I empathize with you, you sound like you deserve some piece of mind

 

[InversedShadow]

It's alright to vent about your feelings here, society can be quite confusing, Im sorry about that person you trusted yet they treaed you that way.. I hope you will find a real friend one day that will listen to your troubles, trusting others is a difficult thing tho ngl especially when we know how bad it can be..

 

[anonymouswebuser]

I dealt with this last year, alot, truth is: Most people just don't care to hear about the troubles for others and will just distance or burst depending on the severity, and then theres other who are able to take it but don't know how to actually respond and end up growing annoyed instead, I just learned to start keeping my issues to myself, or a kind of desperate option that embarrassed me a bit is try venting to an AI, I know exactly how you feel as Ive had multiple people do this to me so my pms are open as well if you need somebody but its just that most people cant handle it or don't care enough to handle it, I wouldn't blame myself too much if I were you

Yeah, but it's more messed up when that person was the one who started with offering me to talk to them at "any time" and they insisted so much regarding that even when I kept denying and telling them it'll be tiring for them. they basically backed down, they couldn't handle it. if they admitted it from the beginning it would've been fine and I would've respected their choice .
and yes I myself sometimes talk to AI as well.
But then again, Thank you for your kind words and your offer I'll be sure to consider it when in need

 

[shrizoid]

Yeah, but it's more messed up when that person was the one who started with offering me to talk to them at "any time" and they insisted so much regarding that even when I kept denying and telling them it'll be tiring for them. they basically backed down, they couldn't handle it. if they admitted it from the beginning it would've been fine and I would've respected their choice .
and yes I myself sometimes talk to AI as well.
But then again, Thank you for your kind words and your offer I'll be sure to consider it when in need

Somebody did the same thing with me last year, offered to let me vent, and eventually I was like "I should stop I don't want to be tiring" but he insisted and blocked me the next day saying it was too much

 

[anonymouswebuser]

Somebody did the same thing with me last year, offered to let me vent, and eventually I was like "I should stop I don't want to be tiring" but he insisted and blocked me the next day saying it was too much

Some people are just so shitty.

 

[shrizoid]

Some people are just so shitty.

I mean he did eventually apologize but that just seemed really stupid to me as a whole