Venting I almost changed my mind

[MephistoJustBeneath]

Just a couple of days ago, I tried smoking a small amount of cannabis in the morning and taking a little more at different times during the day. I felt so great that I actually had the motivation to take a long walk and my creativity was finally being stimulated for the first time in forever. That day, I felt like I'd figured it all out and I wouldn't even need this forum anymore.

And then I tried it again the next day, and it didn't work the same. Between that and all of the other times I've smoked, it seems I've developed a tolerance and must now take a break for at least a week. The one thing that makes life worth living for me, and it's so fucking easy to kill its effectiveness. Well, here I am again, even MORE ready to formulate a suicide plan, now that I know there's truly nothing that can help me. I feel like I was handmade by God to be as much of a miserable fuck as possible so he can get off to my suffering.

 

[SilviuSDJ]

A lot of us here are feeling the same. I wish I could tell you it will 100% get better, but I can't, because in my case at least it didn't, and I fought for 3+ years since my depression started. I do wish you the best and good luck with everything..as for me, tonight I'll ctb.

 

[MephistoJustBeneath]

A lot of us here are feeling the same. I wish I could tell you it will 100% get better, but I can't, because in my case at least it didn't, and I fought for 3+ years since my depression started. I do wish you the best and good luck with everything..as for me, tonight I'll ctb.

Thank you very much, and I hope you find peace tonight. "Getting better" is a myth, I believe. Sometimes the universe fools you into thinking you'll be okay, but it's only a matter of time before that reprieve gives way to more misery. It's a cycle I hope to escape from sooner rather than later. Best of luck

 

[Walilamdzi]

Cannabis had a very bad effect on me.

 

[Meowkin]

Just a couple of days ago, I tried smoking a small amount of cannabis in the morning and taking a little more at different times during the day. I felt so great that I actually had the motivation to take a long walk and my creativity was finally being stimulated for the first time in forever. That day, I felt like I'd figured it all out and I wouldn't even need this forum anymore.

And then I tried it again the next day, and it didn't work the same. Between that and all of the other times I've smoked, it seems I've developed a tolerance and must now take a break for at least a week. The one thing that makes life worth living for me, and it's so fucking easy to kill its effectiveness. Well, here I am again, even MORE ready to formulate a suicide plan, now that I know there's truly nothing that can help me. I feel like I was handmade by God to be as much of a miserable fuck as possible so he can get off to my suffering.

I'm sorry that outlet has become less effective for you. It's certainly a letdown.