I actually dislike life

[whatevs]

I'm becoming more open and unapologetic about my feelings about my life and life in general with people. Especially now that I have tried to work while having a crippling chronic fatigue disability, I see the tiny or negative worth my life has.

But I also have seen prior something beyond me. All of us animals have to fight each other, groom ourselves, hydrate, feed, and evade dangers. I have to shit, fart, hurt, whatever, it's not up to me. And life is at war with itself, it's composed of things that want to exist but that in order to exist need to negate the existence of similar things that also want to exist. So basically, to exist, life needs to destroy existence. It's just weird. It's all a lunatic choreography of strenuous activity and death.

New arrivals are cocky and fresh, with appetizing looks and smell, and the generation that creates them becomes fat, wrinkled and end up pissing themselves and becoming vulnerable, then they die. Eventually the new arrivals stop being carefree, shiny, brand-new invaders, reproduce, and become the new old and tired people that will die.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I have to shit, fart, hurt, whatever, it's not up to me.

TRUE though.

 

[lizwuhan]

I wish more people would be honest about their feelings towards existence. We're bombarded with messages telling us how precious and beautiful life is, but I've never really bought into that. Most of us were created because our parents were bored, horny, whatever, now we get to suffer. It should be a crime to procreate, especially since our options for a peaceful exit are so limited.

 

[whatevs]

TRUE though.

 

[Al_stargate]

Agree, but I don't think we humans necessarily need to negate the existence of other people or creatures. I get that is happening but on an individual level, one can decide to try live without causing harm to other people, animals, or environment to the best abilities. As human we have a higher consciousness and can make that decision.

 

[whatevs]

Agree, but I don't think we humans necessarily need to negate the existence of other people or creatures. I get that is happening but on an individual level, one can decide to try live without causing harm to other people, animals, or environment to the best abilities. As human we have a higher consciousness and can make that decision.

Even vegetarians need to negate life to feed. This is inescapable. Life is the Ouroboros, it eats itself. Unless someone can survive with fruits only, you are killing to exist.

But you're right, we can minimize our impact (if we want). It's just at odds with how life actually works to do so.

 

[apoptosis]

I agree. it's all so pointless, for years I just... haven't wanted to do anything. I don't want to exist. I don't want to work to succeed. Hell, I didn't want to be forced to succeed to live in the first place. It's so boring, so dull.

 

[Cathy Ames]

View attachment 89083

Well, NOW I am (laughing).

Off topic, but how is the new job going? Possibly the fatigue aspect will lessen after you've been doing it for a while longer. I hope it will.

 

[Pluto]

I always enjoy your insights!

Yes, from an outsider's perspective it is all a bit of a shitshow based on battling to survive, No one thought to ask WHY we are so desperate to continue existing. Still, it's quite remarkable to be able to view it from that viewpoint. Keep in mind we have 4 billion years of history on Earth (yes, early single-celled organisms are still our ancestors) and yet the capacity to ask questions like this is an incredibly recent phenomenon.

One thing that bothers me (as a vegetarian, environmentalist type) is I observe the people who are completely selfish, apathetic and amoral having by far the best health and the most pleasant existence. It feels degrading to exist under these conditions, especially when I would probably further reduce harm to other beings by not existing, unless I find some genuinely meaningful place here.

 

[VoidDesirer22]

So basically, to exist, life needs to destroy existence. It's just weird. It's all a lunatic choreography of strenuous activity and death.

It disturbs me greatly how nature documentaries portray this reality!!! As if it's some cool show we get to sit back and enjoy, with goofy human commentary in the background.

All wild animals die screaming. The one benefit of being a human should be to avoid a painful death... And yet we are fking fighting in the corner of the internet to acquire the means.

 

[whatevs]

Well, NOW I am (laughing).

Off topic, but how is the new job going? Possibly the fatigue aspect will lessen after you've been doing it for a while longer. I hope it will.

I quitted (for the day) this Friday alleging illness, but it just was too much for sleepless me trying to do what was asked. I'm trying to decide what's next. With my sleep disorder I don't see myself really being productive, if we are being honest.

I'm following the expensive treatment of a doctor for a supposed respiratory condition that causes the unrefreshing sleep and have my hopes put in there. I already have told my parents that if it doesn't work I will be pushed further to end my life. It is what it is. Living exhausted, sad, dizzy and haggard isn't really living. It's mostly that the fear of death and guilt is standing at the gate.

 

[walt]

I wish more people would be honest about their feelings towards existence. We're bombarded with messages telling us how precious and beautiful life is, but I've never really bought into that. Most of us were created because our parents were bored, horny, whatever, now we get to suffer. It should be a crime to procreate, especially since our options for a peaceful exit are so limited.

On one end of physics, you are a one in quintillion chance.

On the other end, if the cycle-universe theory is correct, and quantum physics holds up, what can happen, in an infinite amount of time, will happen.

Guess it really is up to you to decide. I'm more of a glass half full guy though.

 

[whatevs]

It disturbs me greatly how nature documentaries portray this reality!!! As if it's some cool show we get to sit back and enjoy, with goofy human commentary in the background.

All wild animals die screaming. The one benefit of being a human should be to avoid a painful death... And yet we are fking fighting in the corner of the internet to acquire the means.

I can't bear these documentaries anymore, they remind me starkly about what life seems to be all about. All of these creatures spend their days working their ass off, fighting with each other or eating other creatures.

I also probably stopped playing RPG games in part for the same reason. Kill, plunder, level up. It's fucked. Pokémon itself was fucked up, but we were so deep under the dragon's wing that it was just a fun game for us. It's a game about enslaving organisms and have them battle until one is knocked out if you think about it. This reality is VERY creepy.

 

[Cathy Ames]

I quitted (for the day) this Friday alleging illness, but it just was too much for sleepless me trying to do what was asked. I'm trying to decide what's next. With my sleep disorder I don't see myself really being productive, if we are being honest.

I'm following the expensive treatment of a doctor for a supposed respiratory condition that causes the unrefreshing sleep and have my hopes put in there. I already have told my parents that if it doesn't work I will be pushed further to end my life. It is what it is. Living exhausted, sad, dizzy and haggard isn't really living. It's mostly that the fear of death and guilt is standing at the gate.

Argh. I totally empathize with being able to function properly due to inadequate sleep (or inadequately restorative sleep)--not to mention the literal hell it wrecks on a person's mood. I hope the respiratory condition can be cured or at least mitigated to a significant extent.

 

[walt]

I can't bear these documentaries anymore, they remind me starkly about what life seems to be all about. All of these creatures spend their days working their ass off, fighting with each other or eating other creatures.

I also probably stopped playing RPG games in part for the same reason. Kill, plunder, level up. It's fucked. Pokémon itself was fucked up, but we were so deep under the dragon's wing that it was just a fun game for us. It's a game about enslaving organisms and have them battle until one is knocked out if you think about it. This reality is VERY creepy.

Same reason I never enjoyed boxing, or football (american football).

We're literally watching people sustain traumatic brain injuries, many of which lead to a painful end to their lives or their careers being over by the time they're 40. There's even cases where players have gone totally insane and gun down entire families. But hey, money!!!!!!111

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I always enjoy reading what you have to say. It is really sobering realizing that our body is designed for survival and nothing else. Happiness, fulfillment, clarity of mind, analgesia, those are secondary concerns.

A brain has not qualms about battering you with fear or signalling physical pain as long as it operates under the faulty assumption that it's "warning signs" will prolong an organism's lifespan.

For a field mouse, that's probably true. When their bodies are flooded with adrenaline and cortisol, it's because they've sensed a predator nearby and their lives are in danger.

On the contrary, humans are often forced to put our bodies under extreme stress for no reason other than to fulfill a social/cultural game in which there are arbitrary expectations. Civilizatlon and society evolved before the physical body could catch up.

Another devastating consequence of self awareness is being forced to watch everyone you grew up around succumb to aging and disease. You never forget it. Hell, even some of the girls who bullied me ferociously in school are either dead from OD or have their brains completely melted by years of hard drug use. They didn't even get to see any semblance of life before it was over, much like many of those suffering from chronic illnesses that struck us down early in youth.

I really hope you will find something that helps your chronic fatigue before there is potential of it becoming permanent. I've now lived with this for 5 years and I have forgotten what it felt like to be outside for more than a couple hours without experiencing pain, or the sensation of not being trapped in what I like to call, "the awful, snoozy haze you get from smoking weed" despite not touching it in ages.

 

[Tristan]

I also dislike life, whats the point I often wonder for the meaning of it. Religion, yoga, Kabbalah. Any of those will help?

 

[Gsvko]

I guess like any competition, fun while you're winning.
Also used to enjoy nature documentaries, can't even have a glance now, generates such disgust with myself. I can no longer relate to the predator, only to the prey, no me gusta.

 

[whatevs]

I guess like any competition, fun while you're winning.
Also used to enjoy nature documentaries, can't even have a glance now, generates such disgust with myself. I can no longer relate to the predator, only to the prey, no me gusta.

Interesting take.

 

[Ligottian]

On one end of physics, you are a one in quintillion chance.

On the other end, if the cycle-universe theory is correct, and quantum physics holds up, what can happen, in an infinite amount of time, will happen.

Guess it really is up to you to decide. I'm more of a glass half full guy though.

Writer Thomas Ligotti called eternal recurrence the "ultimate worst nightmare", or words to that effect. I agree. But it is food for thought to drive you mad.

 

[VoidDesirer22]

Writer Thomas Ligotti called eternal recurrence the "ultimate worst nightmare", or words to that effect. I agree. But it is food for thought to drive you mad.

I had to stop reading Ligotti because it was making life even harder.

It is because what he writes about is clearly the truth to me. But I want to limit the content of consciousness, as Zapffe puts it.

But even in an eternal recurrence, as long as our current sense of timeline is vanished, we aren't really ourselves, right?

Same reason I never enjoyed boxing, or football (american football).

We're literally watching people sustain traumatic brain injuries, many of which lead to a painful end to their lives or their careers being over by the time they're 40. There's even cases where players have gone totally insane and gun down entire families. But hey, money!!!!!!111

I enjoy UFC because it doesn't really stand out to me that there is long term brain damage. I mean, I can shut it out weirdly enough. It is similar to how I can eat meat products and shut that out.

"Shut out" is probably the wrong term. It isn't a conscious action, it is just defaulted for me to suppress it. But only for certain avenues. As I said, for nature documenatries there is too thin a veneer of bullshit to not think about the victim running for their life from being mauled.

UFC there is study of technique I find enjoyable.

And for eating meat products, I enjoy the taste.

 

[NormaJeane]

I'm becoming more open and unapologetic about my feelings about my life and life in general with people. Especially now that I have tried to work while having a crippling chronic fatigue disability, I see the tiny or negative worth my life has.

But I also have seen prior something beyond me. All of us animals have to fight each other, groom ourselves, hydrate, feed, and evade dangers. I have to shit, fart, hurt, whatever, it's not up to me. And life is at war with itself, it's composed of things that want to exist but that in order to exist need to negate the existence of similar things that also want to exist. So basically, to exist, life needs to destroy existence. It's just weird. It's all a lunatic choreography of strenuous activity and death.

New arrivals are cocky and fresh, with appetizing looks and smell, and the generation that creates them becomes fat, wrinkled and end up pissing themselves and becoming vulnerable, then they die. Eventually the new arrivals stop being carefree, shiny, brand-new invaders, reproduce, and become the new old and tired people that will die.

Life expectancy is too high, people live too long in the society of today. Who wants to live 100 years? The body breaks down and old people will lose everything with the passage of time. All people should have the right of euthanasia whenever they want it.

 

[VoidDesirer22]

All people should have the right of euthanasia whenever they want it.

There wouldn't be enough hospital beds and staff to supply the demand imo.

There is definitely a lot of people who have this vague feeling that they want to die, but do not examine it deeply since they know they "have to" keep living. So they continue to toil away on the machines, earning their meager pay checks.

If you provide readily available euthanasia, suddenly the flood gates open. There arises a necessity for informing about the process and how peaceful it is with guarantees
What likely follows is a serious decoupling of sanctity values from life, which are so culturally ingrained in us.