I actually changed my mind

[hopelessgirl]

Just wanted to give you guys an update.

I actually healed and changed my mind. I can't imagine ever doing it now even though I was so close to have gone. Still have everything in my suicide kit and will keep it forever because it is my way out (SN) in case something happens.

Just wanted to let you know.

I am now working freelance as a tourist guide and also freelance in a climbing gym. It gives me flexibility to work more or less depending on my mental health.

Life is still fucking hard as it always will be. Sometimes I still get scared, but not in the same way. I am taking Lexapro though. I am also on a low carb diet and I started working out again. I just started with one session a week, now I'm doing two and also going for hikes. My brother also moved in with me (he has paranoid schizophrenia, I am bipolar) so we help each other out.

 

[Graham]

Just wanted to give you guys an update.

I actually healed and changed my mind. I can't imagine ever doing it now even though I was so close to have gone. Still have everything in my suicide kit and will keep it forever because it is my way out (SN) in case something happens.

Just wanted to let you know.

I am now working freelance as a tourist guide and also freelance in a climbing gym. It gives me flexibility to work more or less depending on my mental health.

Life is still fucking hard as it always will be. Sometimes I still get scared, but not in the same way. I am taking Lexapro though. I am also on a low carb diet and I started working out again. I just started with one session a week, now I'm doing two and also going for hikes. My brother also moved in with me (he has paranoid schizophrenia, I am bipolar) so we help each other out.

 

[Someone123]

Just wanted to give you guys an update.

I actually healed and changed my mind. I can't imagine ever doing it now even though I was so close to have gone. Still have everything in my suicide kit and will keep it forever because it is my way out (SN) in case something happens.

Just wanted to let you know.

I am now working freelance as a tourist guide and also freelance in a climbing gym. It gives me flexibility to work more or less depending on my mental health.

Life is still fucking hard as it always will be. Sometimes I still get scared, but not in the same way. I am taking Lexapro though. I am also on a low carb diet and I started working out again. I just started with one session a week, now I'm doing two and also going for hikes. My brother also moved in with me (he has paranoid schizophrenia, I am bipolar) so we help each other out.

Awesome to hear- and Happy Unbirthday!

 

[Musketeer]

Just wanted to give you guys an update.

I actually healed and changed my mind. I can't imagine ever doing it now even though I was so close to have gone. Still have everything in my suicide kit and will keep it forever because it is my way out (SN) in case something happens.

Just wanted to let you know.

I am now working freelance as a tourist guide and also freelance in a climbing gym. It gives me flexibility to work more or less depending on my mental health.

Life is still fucking hard as it always will be. Sometimes I still get scared, but not in the same way. I am taking Lexapro though. I am also on a low carb diet and I started working out again. I just started with one session a week, now I'm doing two and also going for hikes. My brother also moved in with me (he has paranoid schizophrenia, I am bipolar) so we help each other out.

I am glad! Go kick ass in life!

 

[emptyjokes]

Just wanted to give you guys an update.

I actually healed and changed my mind. I can't imagine ever doing it now even though I was so close to have gone. Still have everything in my suicide kit and will keep it forever because it is my way out (SN) in case something happens.

Just wanted to let you know.

I am now working freelance as a tourist guide and also freelance in a climbing gym. It gives me flexibility to work more or less depending on my mental health.

Life is still fucking hard as it always will be. Sometimes I still get scared, but not in the same way. I am taking Lexapro though. I am also on a low carb diet and I started working out again. I just started with one session a week, now I'm doing two and also going for hikes. My brother also moved in with me (he has paranoid schizophrenia, I am bipolar) so we help each other out.

Really incredible, congratulations!

 

[tabletop]

Yes congrats. I'm happy for you.

 

[hopelessgirl]

Awesome to hear- and Happy Unbirthday!

Thank you so much

Yes congrats. I'm happy for you.

Thank you

Really incredible, congratulations!

Thank you

I am glad! Go kick ass in life!

Yesssss! I will! I will still stay on here because I still support our freedom of choice and expression

 

[Dot]

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I'm glad :)

 

[Lost Magic]

I have always said, if a person can find a way to live and be content in this life then more power to you. You go girl!

 

[FuneralCry]

That is good to hear. I wish you the best.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I wish you the best in recovery and I hope you are able to avoid needing to cone back here :)

 

[xonetwothreex]

Options are important, that's for sure. Keep up the climbing though! Amazing stuff!

 

[Lost in a Dream]

This is great news! So many of us come here feeling hopeless and very few seem to recover from the things that brought them here, but when it does happen, it always feels great to see someone succeed.

 

[canneloni12]

Just wanted to give you guys an update.

I actually healed and changed my mind. I can't imagine ever doing it now even though I was so close to have gone. Still have everything in my suicide kit and will keep it forever because it is my way out (SN) in case something happens.

Just wanted to let you know.

I am now working freelance as a tourist guide and also freelance in a climbing gym. It gives me flexibility to work more or less depending on my mental health.

Life is still fucking hard as it always will be. Sometimes I still get scared, but not in the same way. I am taking Lexapro though. I am also on a low carb diet and I started working out again. I just started with one session a week, now I'm doing two and also going for hikes. My brother also moved in with me (he has paranoid schizophrenia, I am bipolar) so we help each other out.

Good luck with the Lexapro it completely screwed me up for a year, wishing you all the best and keep an eye on yourself :)

 

[hopelessgirl]

Good luck with the Lexapro it completely screwed me up for a year, wishing you all the best and keep an eye on yourself :)

In what way did it fuck you up?

 

[Huntfish34]

I wish you Nothing but the best,. Congrats on a job well done! Be safe out there!

 

[msci4499]

 

[houseofleaves]

I wish you experience happiness so intense that you will never ever return to your old sui tendencies!

 

[Oblivion Access]

I love seeing posts like these, I'm very happy for you and hope things stay hopeful or even keep improving. It's encouraging to see the supportive responses, really contradicts how this site is portrayed in the media.

 

[Dizzylady80]

Oh I am so very happy for you! Just remember that this site *might* not be the best place for recovery/mental health, but I support you either way ❤

 

[LeapOfFaith]

I am so happy you got to have that experience. I wish you the very best in life and that you never have to consider ending it again. Live life to the fullest

 

[NeverReallyHere]

This is so good to read. Keep going, we're all rooting for you.

 

[canneloni12]

In what way did it fuck you up?

I was on 20mg straight away, which was too strong. Others might find benefit being on 10mg.

I just found it made me even more irritable, over confident, and changed my personality. Became more reckless (going way too fast on escooter and broke elbow - something I never would have done sober). I have a bad feeling it contributed to my wife leaving me.

 

[hopelessgirl]

I was on 20mg straight away, which was too strong. Others might find benefit being on 10mg.

I just found it made me even more irritable, over confident, and changed my personality. Became more reckless (going way too fast on escooter and broke elbow - something I never would have done sober). I have a bad feeling it contributed to my wife leaving me.

Ok I see. Yeah I've read these meds can mess with you that way, making one not care enough... I guess I'm aware of it and thank you for sharing. And I'm so sorry that they contributed to your wife leaving you. They have definitely made me do some weird stuff as well but I'm making sure to keep my dose a bit down and also I take Olanzapine to make sure I don't get too overly exited on them :-) it's not an easy one to balance....

 

[canneloni12]

Yeah that's the issue with SSRI's, they're almost impossible to balance out with someone's existing personality.

 

[wait.what]

I'm so happy for you! Life will never be easy (for anyone), but if you have the skills and emotional energy to take it on, it can be very rewarding. I hope the "dark days" never return.

 

[ViperDepression22]

Happy for you

 

[Out of Time]

Just wanted to give you guys an update.

I actually healed and changed my mind. I can't imagine ever doing it now even though I was so close to have gone. Still have everything in my suicide kit and will keep it forever because it is my way out (SN) in case something happens.

Just wanted to let you know.

I am now working freelance as a tourist guide and also freelance in a climbing gym. It gives me flexibility to work more or less depending on my mental health.

Life is still fucking hard as it always will be. Sometimes I still get scared, but not in the same way. I am taking Lexapro though. I am also on a low carb diet and I started working out again. I just started with one session a week, now I'm doing two and also going for hikes. My brother also moved in with me (he has paranoid schizophrenia, I am bipolar) so we help each other out.

Hey that's great news! A manageable work schedule is key. That's great you found flexibility there. Curious, how do benefits work with freelance work? One of my struggles with work is trying to be happy for my coworkers most days but others are tougher where I'll lose minutes out of my day when I realize that at some point in my day, my body just stopped, and I'm just standing somewhere. When I realize it's happened, I seem to have to start with a bird's eye view of even the concept of time, and then work backwards to figure out where in time I am and what I'm supposed to be doing based on whatever time I think it is. Those days are hard to be at work. But if there was some flexibility...
Are you able to get health insurance working freelance? Or if it's not too personal, do you have to find alternative ways to pay for mental health care?

 

[virgilwalks]

Excellent.