For some reason, I have a hyper-fixation on dying young. I always wanted to die before I hit 18, and now I want to die before I reach 20. Are there any other people feeling similarly? Like, not wanting to hit 20, 30 or something?
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I think that's quite common and normal, I was certainly the same.
CandyK__
Mercy on me, would you please spare me tonight?
- Mar 13, 2023
- 124
Setting superficial goals about your suicided, is (from my perspective pointless) we all want to say we went out with a flare that our death looked like last scene of "fight club", that it looked amazing, we had a great last words, and music was playing in the background.
But in reality there won't be us to say that to anyone. Sure it depressing to look at your life and see how little we are, and how it seems we're behind everyone. As cliché as it sounds, everybody takes life at their pace. Don't think about when you're going to kill yourself and how it will look like to others. Don't force it, if it comes it comes, if it doesn't it doesn't.
It's sure a nice idea to be remembered as a youth angel, but why do we care about others if we're going out of this life, away from them. This idea of young death might seem good now, but it's a permeant solution to temporary problem.
Don't focus on death, if you'll die it will be because of life, not death.
But in reality there won't be us to say that to anyone. Sure it depressing to look at your life and see how little we are, and how it seems we're behind everyone. As cliché as it sounds, everybody takes life at their pace. Don't think about when you're going to kill yourself and how it will look like to others. Don't force it, if it comes it comes, if it doesn't it doesn't.
It's sure a nice idea to be remembered as a youth angel, but why do we care about others if we're going out of this life, away from them. This idea of young death might seem good now, but it's a permeant solution to temporary problem.
Don't focus on death, if you'll die it will be because of life, not death.
I don't want to go out with a "bang". But you are right that it doesn't matter that much. Still, at least this goal could increase my chances of a succesful suicide soon. I hate being here.
Who the hell wants a temporary solution to *anything*? Of course it's a permanent solution, and it is very well that it is. It's not only a solution to all problems I have now, but also to all future ones (of which there are many).
CW36
➕〰️➰
- Jul 23, 2023
- 839
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 42,054
To me the absurd thing would be actually wishing to reach an old age, I could never understand why anyone would wish to slowly decay and suffer so much in the process just to die anyway, such a thing disturbs me, in my case I've never wished to exist at all, only non-existence appeals to me as existence just bothers me, it's tiresome, a burden and the source of all suffering after all, existing fills me with dread.
esthe
snap back
- May 9, 2023
- 47
Yes I feel the same, and have felt like this for quite some time, yet either failed to ctb, or delayed it. The only thing I'm sure of is that I won't die of old age, I don't really see myself reaching my 30s or more if I think about it
Aergia
Wizard
- Jun 20, 2023
- 607
19F and yes, I totally get you. Don't get me wrong— I'm not gonna ctb if I'm not completely ready just for the aesthetic— but I can't help but think, often, that 19 feels like a perfect age to kill myself. lol.
tora
lonelycity
- Jun 11, 2023
- 191
that doesn't sound weird at all to me. getting older is really scary. i'm 22 and I made a rule for myself that I'm never going to live past 30 years old. aging is just painful and your body starts looking gross and it honestly just isn't worth living through that. also it's comforting giving myself an age limit because work is so depressing that I like to know I don't have to be there for much longer.
EndJstifiesTheMeans
Bad english, didn't go to school sorry
- May 14, 2023
- 448
No, im 23 male, and honestly i would have do it long time ago if was method like N, people tell me same stuff all the time that im to young, i look good, i can fall in love again, but really i dont care, fck everything
Only you know when is the time even if its young age
people never understand
Only you know when is the time even if its young age
people never understand
HighFlight
Global Mod
- Jun 28, 2023
- 698
Question, is this about not wanting to grow older, or something more? I think we all have fears and concerns about getting older, and they start right around 18. This is the age where you are forced to decide about your future - college, work, career, moving away from parents, etc. I think all of these concerns are common, and ctb is a way to avoid all that.
But potentially, you miss a whole lot more if you go that route. No, your 20s are not going to be perfect, but they can also be a lot of fun.
So if this is simply an an age thing, my advice would be to enjoy the ride. I can always exit at a later point in life. However, if the issue is more than age, weigh your options carefully and don't base it solely on a number. And don't make any decisions impulsively. The results could be significantly worse.
Wishing you all the best in which ever path you choose.
I don't really care about the fun anymore. I just want the bad to end, even at the cost of the good. I do have the concerns that you have mentioned, but it's not just those. I'm mentally ill and I don't want to fight it anymore, I just want to be free from this.
I've prepared to do the night-night method. I made tests and have the ratchet tie down. I'm not just going to take a bunch of pills or something stupid like that.
HighFlight
Global Mod
- Jun 28, 2023
- 698
I'm very sorry that life has brought you to this point. While I support your choice, I do hope you've weighed out your options carefully. If you want someone to talk with, please do not hesitate to PM me (or anyone else in this community you feel comfortable with.)
Hopefully you can find the peace that you deserve.
Hopefully you can find the peace that you deserve.
