waningmoth
Member
- Aug 29, 2023
- 55
Before anyone tells me hypothermia is a horrible low reliability way to go, i know.
i have severe emetophobia which means SN or most other drug poisionings are a hard no.
i had always experimented and found relative reliability in NN but recently due to no longer not being emaciated (olanzapine has made me gain weight from being a uk size 4 to a uk 10) im finding it difficult if not impossible to access my internal carotids.
i know body fat will work against me here too but i have a chest freezer thats in the garage that is definatly big enough to fit myself comfortably inside and goes down to -10 c if i set it to. I live alone, im already a hermit so theres no one who will come looking for me save for my dad who cares for me, i am a massive burden to and he would only come if id call so it wouldnt set any alarm bells off for about a week.
i was thinking of soaking myself in the shower, wrapping a soaked cotton towel around my head and body although im not sure if the frost build up on the towel would act as an insulator. to be a little crude: as im female inserting ice cores into any orifices to lower my core body temp faster.
taking the whole 2 months supply box of lorazepam i have, 36 4mg a day, taking a bunch of mirtazapine and olanzapine and going for a nap in my freezer hoping the antiemetic effects of those prevent any nausea ( i also have a massive box of cyclizine if needed which also causes drowsiness like all my other meds)
i know this will be painful but i dont care, have been through moderate to severe hypothermia several times before and while extremely uncomfortable in the early stages think i can handle it, also my freezer lid is very heavy and i dont think will be easy to push open from the inside once muscle weakness and trembling sets in.
im not planning on CTBing just now but i need a backup method if NN fails ne. Strangely the only thing keeping me alive is having a planned escape route that im confident in. Ironically not having one makes me much more actively suicidal.
i know your not dead till your warm and dead but whats the likelyhood of something like this working? Any modifications or alternatives i should consider?
emetophobia is tricky, it sounds frivilous but a psychologist once showed me a statement in one of her books that said "most people with emetophobia will confidently say they would sooner be dead than vomit, but they truly mean it and shouldnt be taken lightly"
i do not want to spent my last moments doing what i have destroyed my life to avoid, shut in, ocd,self harm etc if i was capable of that my need to CTB would me markedly reduced. Theres a bunch of other contributing mental health and trauna factors mostly summed up in cptsd but not having the emetophobia would have opened my life up just enough to possibly make a difference. Making myself sick though is 100% not an option
i have severe emetophobia which means SN or most other drug poisionings are a hard no.
i had always experimented and found relative reliability in NN but recently due to no longer not being emaciated (olanzapine has made me gain weight from being a uk size 4 to a uk 10) im finding it difficult if not impossible to access my internal carotids.
i know body fat will work against me here too but i have a chest freezer thats in the garage that is definatly big enough to fit myself comfortably inside and goes down to -10 c if i set it to. I live alone, im already a hermit so theres no one who will come looking for me save for my dad who cares for me, i am a massive burden to and he would only come if id call so it wouldnt set any alarm bells off for about a week.
i was thinking of soaking myself in the shower, wrapping a soaked cotton towel around my head and body although im not sure if the frost build up on the towel would act as an insulator. to be a little crude: as im female inserting ice cores into any orifices to lower my core body temp faster.
taking the whole 2 months supply box of lorazepam i have, 36 4mg a day, taking a bunch of mirtazapine and olanzapine and going for a nap in my freezer hoping the antiemetic effects of those prevent any nausea ( i also have a massive box of cyclizine if needed which also causes drowsiness like all my other meds)
i know this will be painful but i dont care, have been through moderate to severe hypothermia several times before and while extremely uncomfortable in the early stages think i can handle it, also my freezer lid is very heavy and i dont think will be easy to push open from the inside once muscle weakness and trembling sets in.
im not planning on CTBing just now but i need a backup method if NN fails ne. Strangely the only thing keeping me alive is having a planned escape route that im confident in. Ironically not having one makes me much more actively suicidal.
i know your not dead till your warm and dead but whats the likelyhood of something like this working? Any modifications or alternatives i should consider?
emetophobia is tricky, it sounds frivilous but a psychologist once showed me a statement in one of her books that said "most people with emetophobia will confidently say they would sooner be dead than vomit, but they truly mean it and shouldnt be taken lightly"
i do not want to spent my last moments doing what i have destroyed my life to avoid, shut in, ocd,self harm etc if i was capable of that my need to CTB would me markedly reduced. Theres a bunch of other contributing mental health and trauna factors mostly summed up in cptsd but not having the emetophobia would have opened my life up just enough to possibly make a difference. Making myself sick though is 100% not an option
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