Hi. Your post really struck a cord with me because I've gotten that reaction from people, too, when I talk about not doing well or about suicide, and you're right, it really does feel kind of rotten. At least his reaction is helping you not feel so guilty about leaving, though, so that's a silver lining, I suppose. One time, when I told my ex partner about feeling depressed and suicidal, he said "I don't know what you have to be depressed about, I'm the one who does everything around the house and raising the kids." There was truth in what he said, but it stung, nonetheless. Another time, when I was trying to talk to my mom about feeling bad, she said "Let's not keep talking about it." So, I just don't talk to anyone about how I'm feeling, unless they have mental health issues and understand what it's like. The normies just don't understand, and it's futal trying to explain it to them. Leaving behind a note for your husband to soften the blow is a nice idea, though. If I have enough energy to leave behind a note when I exit, I plan on making it as explanatory as possible. Funny how when we're actually dead, people start listening. Anyway, I've been following your posts and am rooting for you. I hope you find the peace you are looking for, and that your next attempt is a success, if that's what you truly want. Feel free to PM me if you need a listening ear. I feel like a lot of what you post about resonates with me, but I'm usually too anxious to post much on here. Feeling brave today, I guess. Take care. Cupcake