Venting Husband said he supported my decision, turns out that was a lie

[ShinyDitto]

I posted previously about quitting my disease treatment, which means I'll die in 5 years(estimated), and I didn't know how to tell my family. My husband said he supported my decision, and now it's been 2 months since my last infusion. Last night he blew up and started crying about how, if I die, he'll be all alone and have no one and was begging me to change something else about my life besides my treatment(like losing weight, that if I was skinnier my disease would be better[that's not how it works]). I told him I'd continue treatment to make him happy, but now I'm back to the problem I originally had—everyone's happy except me, but no one cares. But as long as I'm alive, who cares if I'm miserable? He wants me to be alive and happy to be alive, but that's just not going to happen. I resent him so much for this, and I've realized I'm going to have to ctb behind his back and alone, instead of passing away with my family by my side. Very cool…

 

[sanctionedusage]

the worst that happens if you discontinue treatment again is that he'll what, want a divorce or separation? he'd resent you just as much for ctb'ing behind his back. why not discontinue treatment and die on your own terms, with the rest of your family by your side in 5 or so years, maybe minus him, instead of dying completely alone now? your relationship with him is compromised either way.

 

[itsgone2]

This is so difficult. As a divorced man I hate being alone now. I wish I had her with me still. So I can see him changing his mind. We just don't think the same as those who don't consider ctb. You seem trapped and may have to take drastic actions and I'm so sorry for you. Life goes so wrong at times. It's tragic.