Hurting and no place to go

[elaikman]

From July to November 2019, I spent four times in the psyche ward of two hospitals and 3 times in two different behavioral hospitals. The first time was due to a social worker and so traumatized me that I went from only thinking of suicide to actively pursuing it. After the first time in the psyche ward when I came home I did a lot of research into what happened to me. In my research I found the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. I spent a lot of time on that website and learned what to say to get them to call the police on me. I was very lonely, isolated, and alone due to surgery to my right foot. Without that surgery and what the social worker did to me, none of the rest of it would have happened. Learning how to get the police to come to my home to talk to me, caused me to be put on police holds and first taken to the psyche ward of the hospitals and then to either one of two behavioral hospitals. In my search of the internet I found another website that is anti-suicide. If I had found that website first I would never have found the NSPL website and a lot of what happened last year wouldn't have happened. Now I'm seriously considering CTB but I'm afraid that due to my religion I'll go to hell and I don't what that to happen. But I want peace in my life. I'm tired of the voices in my head talking about committing suicide. I wish somebody could help me. Right now I desperately want to be put on another police hold but I'm afraid that nobody would come in answer to my plea and the desire is driving me crazy.

 

[NotMeantForHere]

So you want to go back into the psych ward?

 

[Deleted member 1465]

If you want to be put on a police hold, though it's not something I'd encourage, then maybe it's worth pursuing. It doesn't necessarily mean you'll get the help you want though. Keep that in mind. They were over worked before the virus, and now... the chances are you will be released again with all the same problems.

But if you want to be safe and don't feel safe and are willing to trust them, that's why they do hold and section people, for the short term.

Do you have any diagnosis? Do you have any psychiatric input? I don't like psychs myself, but for some they can be useful. If you feel as bad as you do then it's worth considering being honest with them, if that's what you want. Just remember, the possibility exists that you may be sectioned. The possibility exists also that you won't be sectioned even if you want to be.

If you are going nuts over this, maybe stay on here and talk to people, often that helps calm me down when things are too much, even if its only for a while.

 

[timf]

It can be confusing to consider remedial steps when you have come to a situation that involves agencies, institutions, and various people. It can be difficult to feel like there is any control. If you are able to identify one particular element that is most contributing to "hurting", then you might be able to experiment to see what control you can exercise.

For example, if you identify the voices as the most significant element that you need to control, you can experiment to see if they diminish or get worse when you exercise, listen to music, watch TV, work, or in the longer term diet and nutrition. This experimentation approacj may provide some results that may help you to find increased control.

 

[HadEnough1974]

From July to November 2019, I spent four times in the psyche ward of two hospitals and 3 times in two different behavioral hospitals. The first time was due to a social worker and so traumatized me that I went from only thinking of suicide to actively pursuing it. After the first time in the psyche ward when I came home I did a lot of research into what happened to me. In my research I found the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. I spent a lot of time on that website and learned what to say to get them to call the police on me. I was very lonely, isolated, and alone due to surgery to my right foot. Without that surgery and what the social worker did to me, none of the rest of it would have happened. Learning how to get the police to come to my home to talk to me, caused me to be put on police holds and first taken to the psyche ward of the hospitals and then to either one of two behavioral hospitals. In my search of the internet I found another website that is anti-suicide. If I had found that website first I would never have found the NSPL website and a lot of what happened last year wouldn't have happened. Now I'm seriously considering CTB but I'm afraid that due to my religion I'll go to hell and I don't what that to happen. But I want peace in my life. I'm tired of the voices in my head talking about committing suicide. I wish somebody could help me. Right now I desperately want to be put on another police hold but I'm afraid that nobody would come in answer to my plea and the desire is driving me crazy.

Don't worry about going to hell, sounds to me that you're already living it.