Venting Huamn disdain andd I'm movin

[YandereMikuMistress]

Hello Goodmoring, it's July 7th 6:36am I'm visiting the island once again, I go back to my town today, well not "my" town persay I just live there but Anyhow I've been treading along, it's starting to get easier to fake how I genuinely feel or what I really want to say and I'm thinking this is a good thing, it's what I want isn't it, yeah, I suppose but really what does it matter my partner has basically accepted the fact I'll be CTBing at some point an they couldn't join me since there plan B is to join the army when I decide it's my time, so all I have to do now is to "be better" in the perspective that others don't view me so poorly/negatively, I really shouldn't care but I just rather go out leaving a smile then anything else wich is kinda funny since I have a constantly growing disdain towards humans in general, I hate having to consider myself one,, I know I possibly seem a little unhinged but to be honest I don't care, I've just gotta keep this thing called "living" up awhile longer, and I should be moving over to the island real soon here, just gotta go talk to my work about transferring tomorrow.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

My partner seen that I was typing on some site he doesn't care he just gives me a toung lashing for looking into "morbid" aka things from suicide to things like the pro mortalism philosophy because i stupidly asked if he knew about it since they are majorly smart and extremely immersed in all kinds of history and guns and "destruction"
I love em,
But I definitely disappoint them, I'm going to go put a resume up the gas station at this point, I just need to be making somthing for em plus then it gives them the space i genuinely know they need, in visiting the family tomorrow for a few days to pick up my new glasses, I going to miss them and they'll miss me I'm sure,, I'm always fighting with that certainty though, I know im just difficult i understand so I get when you tell me you want to send me back for awhile or you don't want me around because even when you tell me that you'll tell me you don't want me to go or that ofcourse you'll miss me,, that back and forth as much as I still struggle with what to belive it doesnt matter as long as by the end of the day you tell me it's alright, you'll rescue me even while I'm still Falling, I'm sure of,, I think.
Btw they don't know of this site or at least the name that is.