How to Trust Professional Support

[stoiccactus]

How do you find ways to trust professional support? I have serious ideation and I dont want it and frankly want to go back to not having this constantly. I am in therapy and have docs and healthcare coverage here in the US but I find it hard to trust medical providers. Who is on my side, who is just covering their ass, and who is selling me something. I cant tell.

I feel like all these providers are like one or two bad sentences from calling the cops and sending me to inpatient care. Which would surely mean the loss of my job. So how do you communicate SI without communicating SI in such a way that lands me in a 72 hour lockup

 

[Hollowman]

I don't think they can be trusted, I've dealt with them for decades and I'm done. They're all about money.

 

[stoiccactus]

I have been treated for all sorts of acute stuff and the care was always fine, but transactional. For chronic stuff, like this, its so much harder to distinguish the real docs from the ones who just got a check from some pharma company or inpatient facility and are shilling it. Just so much money in long term treatment…

 

[sorrynormal]

but transactional.

If you are looking for a real meaningful relationship with real experiences, you won't find it with MH professionals. The best a thearpist can do is put you into a better position to find those things for yourself IRL.

All MH interventions are transactional and they will drop you like a bad habit whenever it suits them.

 

[stoiccactus]

I have a therapist, and I've had him a long time. He's great and he's definitely helped me work thru some stuff. I've had a lot of success working through acute PTSD (from a car accident) among other things. But when suicide and suicidal ideation come up, his entire demeanor changes and I feel like he moves into "I'm a mandated reporter / representative of the state" mode so I have to back off and speak in generic terms. This, of course, is not helpful to me and only deepens the shame portion of this thing. I want to make progress but it's like, option 1 is be honest and spend 72 hours in a lockup, lose my job, and only make everything 1000x worse and option 2 is to off myself. So like .. what do.

 

[CryExcelsior]

Sometimes you have to hand the reins off to someone else.

 

[waitingforrest]

I tend to avoid ever ssaying I plan to ctb today or planning to them. As for sh, I just tell them I did it a month ago. They really do change behaviors when the ctb stuff is brought up. So I just test the waters.

I just indirectly talk about ctb by talking about how I view the world and how it seems so hopeless, it let's me still talk about things but under the philosophy excuse.

But there are some times I did get admitted, usually I just bs my way out. But when I say I want to ctb, guess I am going into a ward. :(

I don't have any for sure advice, but it's good to know what will land you in the 72 hour hold and what won't. I really do hate how expensive therapy is and how it feels like walking on eggshells talking to them. I am wishing all the best, the therapy system is truly frustrating.

 

[CryExcelsior]

I tend to avoid ever ssaying I plan to ctb today or planning to them. As for sh, I just tell them I did it a month ago. They really do change behaviors when the ctb stuff is brought up. So I just test the waters.

I just indirectly talk about ctb by talking about how I view the world and how it seems so hopeless, it let's me still talk about things but under the philosophy excuse.

But there are some times I did get admitted, usually I just bs my way out. But when I say I want to ctb, guess I am going into a ward. :(

I don't have any for sure advice, but it's good to know what will land you in the 72 hour hold and what won't. I really do hate how expensive therapy is and how it feels like walking on eggshells talking to them. I am wishing all the best, the therapy system is truly frustrating.

We're here home skillet.

 

[stoiccactus]

Sometimes you have to hand the reins off to someone else.

What do you mean by this?

 

[myopybyproxy]

find a private clinic / therapist or some radical public organisation that doesn't treat suicidality with condescending and patronising abuse

(if you find one, let me know)

the downside is the more radical they get, the less likely to have legitimate credentials etc or be able to prescribe or work with insurance - ie more sketchy and may end up being some spirituality cult bullshit

oh wait i accidentally described AA

 

[stoiccactus]

find a private clinic / therapist or some radical public organisation that doesn't treat suicidality with condescending and patronising abuse

(if you find one, let me know)

the downside is the more radical they get, the less likely to have legitimate credentials etc or be able to prescribe or work with insurance - ie more sketchy and may end up being some spirituality cult bullshit

oh wait i accidentally described AA

To be fair an AA group may be more kind to me than most of the medical establishment

 

[LittleJem]

I've been to NA. They are kind for sure. I just was the most depressed person there. And drugs make my life more bearable, so don't want to give them up.

 

[WhiteDespair]

Speak about CtB stuff in past tense with them.

 

[Angi]

Knowing what they will assess for may help you. This way, you can know where to tread carefully and what you can likely talk about without scaring them into disappointing you.

The topic how to know whether someone will attempt is on the therapist subs of reddit allll the time, be it because they are scared of patients dying or of liability. The most recent one is here:

The most mentioned predictors are past attempts, plan, means, (immediate) ideation and isolation. You may want to communicate as few of these as you can. So, if you do not live alone, make sure they know. Also if you have some other pressing reason to stay. On the other hand, you could tell them you either do not have a plan, or have never attempted, whichever lets you talk more about the things you want to talk about.

For a longer list of what they may be looking for, if they are well trained on the subject, see here: https://kspope.com/suicide/index.php

I wish you luck with finding someone who dares talk about it. I know how it feels to be shut up about it...

 

[Niko66]

I absolutely don't, I take the "help" for what it's been in my experience, experimental, often neglectful, often ignorant, often harmful, apathetic and sometimes actually helpful. I almost always look into the meds I am given or procedures I am recommended out of distrust, last time I gave into to docs blindly I ended up losing a lot of sexual function and still dealing with that 7 years later.

Doctors are the mediators between modern medicine and your issues, they can offer you tools, but I trust them by default no more than I trust any stranger on the street, it's got to be earned and in my case, it's lost. But I still need access to modern medicine so... gotta deal with the system and hope for the best.