every time I tried to do it, I always overthink it.
its always
- what if this takes longer then it needs to be
- what happens if there is or isn't another side
- what about my friends
how do I stop this
This aspect is arguably the most difficult part of suicide. Humans are biologically and psychologically bound to have a strong sense of self-preservation. Like it or not, it is part of our evolution, and a way to ensure survival, quite the opposite of your goal, I assume. Most if not all people who have experienced depression have thought about suicide, some serious, most are not. However, only about 4% of these serious demographic actually committed suicide. The most difficult part is being fearless enough to do so.
Even when someone is attempting, for example, jumping off a bridge. The golden gate bridge is a popular place to commit suicide, and it takes approx 4 seconds for someone to hit the water from the moment of jumping. Although these survivors had made peace with death when they jumped, even 4 or 3 seconds before impact. Many reported that around 1-2 second before impact, they experienced this great desire to survive, despite the situation that renders such thing very unlikely.
Making peace with death and our brain desire to survive is the final barrier and stronghold of life when facing suicidal thoughts. It is unclear how one can truly conquer this fear. The three factor theory proposed
here where a) detachment, b) substance abuse, and c) boldness are amongst the top factors. This reply isn't very helpful, I know, but suicide s a complex topic with a lot of things to take into account. The morality of hurting other people is also a strong factor on suicide, depending on your moral point of view, and how you value yourself and or other people, it can be difficult to rationalize, as, in reality, it is more often the case that you're in a position where it is actually moral to commit suicide.
Suicide is a deeply personal choice, it is unfortunate and hard to see a person go. However, as a libertarian, what you do is up to you, as I believe you can assess your situation better than a random person on the internet.
