Help How to stop being angry at my friends

[chloramine]

A few months ago my friends called a wellness check on me. I was able to talk my way out of it, but it still screwed up a lot of things for me. They did it without any warning or heads up or offering other options. I get that they meant well, but they put me in a very bad position and it led to other fallout that I don't want to talk about. It's not that they called it's that they sprung it on me without any warning or any opportunity to negotiate a compromise. I keep thinking I'm over it but then I'll have flashbacks or I'll just start thinking about it again and I get so pissed. It destroyed the very limited category of safe that I had and I've been trying but I just. I don't know how to say what I want to to describe. It fucked me up so badly and no matter how many times I get over it I don't think I'll ever be able to trust anyone again. I'm not used to anger like this and I don't want to be angry at them- they're my friends and I love them- but I don't know how to make it stop.

 

[GelatinaRouse]

If you already deal damage to items or when you get angry... I think you have rage issues.
It would be best to seek professional help from a psychologist.
You should also recognize that your friends think you are important and recognize that they organized themselves to hear from you. you are important to them.
I think that the best way to solve or distract those strong emotions is to look for new activities... or a hobby
I can't say much, since I only have 2 friends and we don't talk much (they worry too and from time to time we get organized)

 

[noaccount]

Rouse, I didn't hear Chloramine mentioning anything about destroying items.

I would not try to get over my anger, personally, at people who sent police or other people who could kidnap me to ambush me in my home.
I would welcome my anger as a sign of strong and healthy boundaries - of recognition that what happened was not okay.
You describe having flashbacks to what they did - a sign of post-trauma stress - because they inflicted very real violence and trauma on you.

I might try showing them some educational materials like:

Abolition Must Include Psychiatry

Abolition Must Include Psychiatry By Stella Akua Mensah Edited by Stefanie Lyn Kaufman-Mthimkhulu Content notes: sanism, racism, violence, state violence, incarceration, institutionalization, forc…

disabilityvisibilityproject.com

and there are some pretty good slideshows over at this instagram page, stuff like this:





... If they seemed to be really, truly, listening and dedicated to not doing the same oppressive shit again, I might consider maintaining the relationship.

I'm sorry this happened.
You're not alone.
Fire to the prisons.

 

[chloramine]

If you already deal damage to items or when you get angry... I think you have rage issues.
It would be best to seek professional help from a psychologist.
You should also recognize that your friends think you are important and recognize that they organized themselves to hear from you. you are important to them.
I think that the best way to solve or distract those strong emotions is to look for new activities... or a hobby
I can't say much, since I only have 2 friends and we don't talk much (they worry too and from time to time we get organized)

I don't break anything or act out due to my anger it's just hard to keep being angry at people I care about. I don't really understand what you mean by them organizing themselves to hear from me? They knew that I was very much not okay with what they were doing which is part of what makes it feel like such a betrayal. I agree they had good intentions, but the action itself was the wrong one to take.

Rouse, I didn't hear Chloramine mentioning anything about destroying items.

I would not try to get over my anger, personally, at people who sent police or other people who could kidnap me to ambush me in my home.
I would welcome my anger as a sign of strong and healthy boundaries - of recognition that what happened was not okay.
You describe having flashbacks to what they did - a sign of post-trauma stress - because they inflicted very real violence and trauma on you.

I might try showing them some educational materials like:

Abolition Must Include Psychiatry

Abolition Must Include Psychiatry By Stella Akua Mensah Edited by Stefanie Lyn Kaufman-Mthimkhulu Content notes: sanism, racism, violence, state violence, incarceration, institutionalization, forc…

disabilityvisibilityproject.com

and there are some pretty good slideshows over at this instagram page, stuff like this:
View attachment 95831

View attachment 95832


... If they seemed to be really, truly, listening and dedicated to not doing the same oppressive shit again, I might consider maintaining the relationship.

I'm sorry this happened.
You're not alone.
Fire to the prisons.

Thank you. I really appreciate the resources and what you said. Honestly just having someone validate what I say is helpful. One of them did apologize and definitely will not be doing the same thing again while another kind of apologized? It's complicated and to be fair they were under pressure and I was partially to blame for the larger surrounding situation. They're not going to get the chance to do that again regardless because I'm not going to tell them if I have plans to die in the future.

I don't know for sure that they're flashbacks? I would get stuck in memories of stuff that happened with my parents previously and this has been like that. One of my friends had come across some information on c-ptsd. They thought it fit and I did too and it mentioned emotional flashbacks which really resonated with what I thought of as getting stuck in memories.