How to recover from Peter Pan Syndrome?

[sserafim]

If you have Peter Pan Syndrome, how can you recover from it? Personally, I don't want to help myself, but I will have to eventually become a real adult if my parents stop supporting me and I don't ctb. Ugh everything is just so overwhelming

 

[Downdraft]

Your willingness is definitely a big first step :)

 

[sserafim]

Your willingness is definitely a big first step :)

Yeah but I don't want to be a real adult; unfortunately I will probably be forced to be one (if I don't ctb). It seems inevitable

 

[Pluto]

The problem is that harmful parental influences, including excessive expectations, mess with developing a proper sense of self.

A big factor I've noticed is a desire to rebel against the desires of parents. It can become pathological. I have a sister in her late 40s who, I believe, still goes to nightclubs and acts like a teenager. It's really weird, but likely caused by a horrible mother who was obsessed with pushing a 'wholesome Catholic' identity on us.

As for recovering, I would start with 'a problem well defined is already half solved.'

 

[sserafim]

The problem is that harmful parental influences, including excessive expectations, mess with developing a proper sense of self.

A big factor I've noticed is a desire to rebel against the desires of parents. It can become pathological. I have a sister in her late 40s who, I believe, still goes to nightclubs and acts like a teenager. It's really weird, but likely caused by a horrible mother who was obsessed with pushing a 'wholesome Catholic' identity on us.

As for recovering, I would start with 'a problem well defined is already half solved.'

I don't think that I even have a sense of self. I don't know what I like or want

 

[Pluto]

I don't think that I even have a sense of self. I don't know what I like or want

It is true. (Unfortunately the stuff about removing the sense of self doesn't tend to work unless there is one in the first place.)

There is the likelihood of some Nparenting at play, even if they are not acutely abusive. I've worked with children before and developing a proper sense of self is pretty much the whole point of child-raising.

 

[Namarupa]

Not sure if it's what you're looking for, but this video contains some valuable insights:

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Idk, I think you just need to take small steps to become more independent over time. I've come to realization that I need to try growing up in order to become a woman so I need to start taking small steps in order to become one. Being an adult doesn't mean giving up on your child-like aspects. It means learning to be more independent and learning to expand on your thinking and views of yourself and the world around you. The "child" you is still there, it's just been expanded on. I understand if you don't get it. What I'm trying to say is a bit hard to explain, but that's how I've come to view adulthood and learning to grow into a real adult.

I've finally decided to try and cure myself of my peter pan syndrome and grow up.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

If you have Peter Pan Syndrome how can you recover from it? Personally, I don't want to help myself, but I will have to eventually become a real adult if my parents stop supporting me and I don't ctb. Ugh everything is just so overwhelming for me…

I don´t think I can ever recover from it and it find it logical too why I would yearn for the past when I had good physical and mental health, had tons of friends and could feel my emotions and had felt so much fun and excitement every day, now there is only suffering all the time with no real life.

Ironically when talking about Peter Pan Syndrome I visited my childhood town today just to go for a walk in my memories, to think my feet walked on the same ground I walked on 20+ years ago the only difference is Time, if I could roll back the clock 20+ years ago I would be walking on the same ground with my friends having so much fun, and living an amazing life. So no I don´t think it´s possible to recover from it not unless I suddenly woke up tomorrow and had no physical or mental illnesses and could feel my emotions again then I think there would be hope but that is not going to happen so the Peter Pan Syndrom stays with me.

I don't think that I even have a sense of self. I don't know what I like or want

Same for me I don´t know who I am I can´t even decide on a style because I feel nothing so there is no passion for how I dress or look I am totally indifferent to it and that is just the style/look but also when it comes to other aspects in life I wouldn´t know how describe myself because I have no idea besides being the guy sitting in his room in front of a computer all day that is probably who I am I guess.

 

[DarkRange55]

Not sure if it's what you're looking for, but this video contains some valuable insights:

I like a lot of his videos on archetypes

If you have Peter Pan Syndrome how can you recover from it? Personally, I don't want to help myself, but I will have to eventually become a real adult if my parents stop supporting me and I don't ctb. Ugh everything is just so overwhelming for me…

Hmm… well, why don't you want to? Just so you're not "a slave to the system?" Why is that so, I hate this term, triggering for you? I'm trying my best not to build assumptions into this, and this is simply an exercise in introspection. Not a judgement. I'm using the above quotes because I've seen you say that a lot on other threads. So before anyone jumps to conclusions I'm not making judgments. A big problem with text is that tone is almost completely lost a lot of times.

 

[Mirrory Me]

Sounds bullshit condition to me, but apparantly some people go to therapy and take medication for it.

 

[sserafim]

Sounds bullshit condition to me, but apparantly some people go to therapy and take medication for it.

What kind of medication?

 

[Guy Smiley]

Even if your parents stop supporting you, it doesn't necessarily have to come down to a choice between supporting yourself or CTB. You could find another adult to support you. Lots of adults are fully supported by someone else (other than their parents). It might not even have to involve marriage (if that's something you want to avoid).

 

[sserafim]

Even if your parents stop supporting you, it doesn't necessarily have to come down to a choice between supporting yourself or CTB. You could find another adult to support you. Lots of adults are fully supported by someone else (other than their parents). It might not even have to involve marriage (if that's something you want to avoid).

I don't want to age or get old either. I want to die young. I don't want to reach 25 or 27 at the latest. Sadly I won't die if I just think about it; I'll have to take concrete action. My fear of failure and the risk of failing ctb scares me enough for me to not have attempted yet. I think that this fear will allow life to pass me by, and I'll inevitably get older against my will

 

[Mirrory Me]

What kind of medication?

Well i have no idea... I guess it's an attempt to alleviate some of the symptoms of depression or anxiety. Not antipsychotic drugs anyway.

edit: "Peter Pan syndrome" can occur with other diagnoses, for example schizophrenia. :P

 

[trashprincess]

I struggle with this a LOT.
31 years old, and I'm obsessed with wanting to go back and be younger. I feel so much negativity from thinking it's too late to get better, to feeling like the world just isn't for me anymore, and so much more.

For me, what I try to tell myself, is I want to go back, but that's not why I feel that way. I feel that way because when I was young, I missed out on so much, and was hurt so many times. There's lessons to learn, milestones to reach, experiences to be had. And I missed out on all of that.

So I want to go back. I REALLY do. But I can't, I have to go forward. So what I NEED is everything I was supposed to get out of my youth. That's when I was supposed to learn how to be a person and instead I learned how to be miserable. So I'm hoping if I can learn all the lessons I missed out on, and repair the damage of my childhood, I'll stop feeling this way.

Now I don't know if I'll ever be able to heal enough to be fully independent and all, but for me, I just want to heal enough to be happy.

 

[Hollowman]

I don't think that I even have a sense of self. I don't know what I like or want

Same here it might have something to do with identity diffusion.

 

[sserafim]

Same here it might have something to do with identity diffusion.

What's that?

 

[Myforevercharlie]

The problem is that harmful parental influences, including excessive expectations, mess with developing a proper sense of self.

A big factor I've noticed is a desire to rebel against the desires of parents. It can become pathological. I have a sister in her late 40s who, I believe, still goes to nightclubs and acts like a teenager. It's really weird, but likely caused by a horrible mother who was obsessed with pushing a 'wholesome Catholic' identity on us.

As for recovering, I would start with 'a problem well defined is already half solved.'

What's wrong with going out in your late 40's?
My mom is in her late 70's . She and her husband go to the pub in the weekends to meet up with friends. I can't see anything wrong with that.

 

[Mirrory Me]

it would probably be good to get this diagnosis if you somehow don't fit into this society... so that others understand you too.

 

[sserafim]

it would probably be good to get this diagnosis if you somehow don't fit into this society... so that others understand you too.

It's not an official diagnosis; it's not in the DSM-5. I have other conditions that have been clinically diagnosed (social anxiety, ADHD, ASD level 1)

I like a lot of his videos on archetypes

Hmm… well, why don't you want to? Just so you're not "a slave to the system?" Why is that so, I hate this term, triggering for you? I'm trying my best not to build assumptions into this, and this is simply an exercise in introspection. Not a judgement. I'm using the above quotes because I've seen you say that a lot on other threads. So before anyone jumps to conclusions I'm not making judgments. A big problem with text is that tone is almost completely lost a lot of times.

I just feel like having to work for a living would limit my freedom and autonomy. I would be tied and chained down (to work/a job). I want to maintain my freedom and independence; I don't want it to be taken away by society and the system

 

[Mirrory Me]

It's not an official diagnosis; it's not in the DSM-5.

Yea that's what I thought... x)

 

[Hollowman]

What's that?

My brain's too mushy you'll have to look it up.

 

[sserafim]

My brain's too mushy you'll have to look it up.

I can always ask ChatGPT (aka @DarkRange55)

 

[DarkRange55]

I can always ask ChatGPT (aka @DarkRange55)

An adult who avoids the responsibilities and realities of adulthood. Usually socially immaturity, dependent, and reluctant to grow up. It's a pop psychology term that comes from the fictional character.

I can always ask ChatGPT (aka @DarkRange55)

It's not an official diagnosis; it's not in the DSM-5. I have other conditions that have been clinically diagnosed (social anxiety, ADHD, ASD level 1)

I just feel like having to work for a living would limit my freedom and autonomy. I would be tied and chained down (to work/a job). I want to maintain my freedom and independence; I don't want it to be taken away by society and the system

What freedom do you use exercise now? Do you travel a lot?

 

[Hollowman]

Peter pan syndrome might as well be in the DSM, the majority of it is pseudoscience bs.

 

[sserafim]

An adult who avoids the responsibilities and realities of adulthood. Usually socially immaturity, dependent, and reluctant to grow up. It's a pop psychology term that comes from the fictional character.


What freedom do you use exercise now? Do you travel a lot?

Freedom from work and responsibility

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Peter Pan himself had no incentive to even consider growing up until Wendy showed up in his life. Indeed, her very presence on the island is what awakened all the Lost Boys to the reality of their situation and made them want to grow up.

So I guess all we need to get out of this is to get ourselves a Wendy (or Wendell if you prefer).

 

[DarkRange55]

Freedom from work and responsibility

What is the issue with work though? I'm not understanding how it limits your freedom. What would you be doing otherwise right now at this moment?

 

[Mirrory Me]

I had a soft toy from childhood that my father called "pete the elephant". Later in adulthood I named it "Peter Pain" because it had masochistic tendencies, I putted some make-up and decorations on it and poked it in the face with a crochet hook until it went broke.