How to recover from heartbreak

[Blue_]

Hi all,

I apologize in advance for the poor quality of the post, I have some difficulties with written expression.

So, I am going through a very painful moment. Being depressed with dark thoughts for years, there is nothing that really holds me back to life and I fantasize with the idea of ending it every day.

A few months ago, a person came into my life and I quickly had feelings. We shared and had a lot in common. At first it was only friendly, but then romantic feelings appeared more recently.

These emotions became my reason to live, like a drug that protected me from reality and my own demons, which I am well aware is not healthy at all. I have always hidden these emotions out of shame.

Problem is that this relationship is destined to disappear because of my difficulties. I realized without too much trouble that our relationship is fundamentally unbalanced. I am a sick and damaged person while the other person has everything for them. They are literally perfect and I can't afford to waste their time because It would be so unfair. Today the relationship is unraveling, and I would rather stop the damage than suffer more from it. Even if it's selfish, I much prefer that they can be with someone else who is at their level rather than with someone like me, they deserve to live happily and with my shitty life and depression I'm unable to offer that right now.

This situation is killing me and I sincerely don't know if I'll survive it given my current state of emotional fragility. I can't hide that I fantasize about dying absolutely everyday.

So, I wanted to ask the members who have lost people who literally made them stand and go on living. How do you hold on? How do you recover from these tragedies, regardless of whether the loss is romantic, friendly, or family?

Take care everyone

 

[U. A.]

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[lita-lassi]

time away, both chronological and mental, are sadly the most immediate answer. mental time away is what u.a. said above- pursuing your own interests, keeping busy, keeping in touch with platonic friendships, growing yourself internally. easier said than done but focusing on the loss will likely not help much of anything until you can re-examine yourself and the situation from a safer point down the line. that said, feelings are going to happen and the goal isnt to squash everything but keep yourself functional throughout experiencing them. dont let yourself isolate