Help How to overcome fear to ctb

[metalchic_74]

I'm really struggling with overcoming fear to ctb. I want to hang myself. It takes a lot of guts to follow through. Last attempt it took me 5 hours pacing back n forth couldn't do it. I'm wondering if I should take a handful of Ativan maybe some alcohol to help me relax. Any tips would be so appreciated thank you :)

 

[Kodama]

Impulsivity i guess... Otherwise SI is King

 

[Neverod]

Do it when you are really tired and sleepy, your brain will react slowly and the SI won't kick as hard as it does normally.
Also, you can try to cover up the walls or your surroundings with something blue, it can be a blanket or w/e as long as it is dark blue (ocean), it makes your brain feel comfortable.
Psychology student >:^3

 

[trynacbt]

I think reminding yourself of the reasons for why you want to ctb might help. Tapping into that feeling of desperation/helplessness...

 

[Rising Phoenix]

For me a peaceful method along with waiting to the last minute has taken all the SI away.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I'm really struggling with overcoming fear to ctb. I want to hang myself. It takes a lot of guts to follow through. Last attempt it took me 5 hours pacing back n forth couldn't do it. I'm wondering if I should take a handful of Ativan maybe some alcohol to help me relax. Any tips would be so appreciated thank you :)

welcome to my world! (well and lot of people here-not just me,lol!)

 

[Boonks]

Ehhhhhhh if you're asking this you're not ready. I'm not tryina help anyone overcome their fear, lol. That's a personal, private thing. No one here is going to encourage you to catch the bus. I wish you well.

 

[MeltingHeart]

Do it when you are really tired and sleepy, your brain will react slowly and the SI won't kick as hard as it does normally.
Also, you can try to cover up the walls or your surroundings with something blue, it can be a blanket or w/e as long as it is dark blue (ocean), it makes your brain feel comfortable.
Psychology student >:^3

I like the first tip! and I understand that blue is a calming colour- used in hospitals etc, I believe partly for that reason? it might help if i was just going to have an injection or at the dentist- not sure being nxt to blue can help when you are about to hang yourself thou! - speaking from someone that has being trying this, who knows they even if one person finds it calming- there is now harm in trying. As part of yr studies do you think any of yr syllabus may look at suicide?! you have great access to background reseach! thou I guess you wouldnt really be able to use any of it. Interesting thought thou.

 

[Girobatol]

If you are on antipsychotics and mood stabilizers alcohol won´t make you hi, just sick. If you were only in benzos and alcohol then you would get the buzz.

 

[metalchic_74]

If you are on antipsychotics and mood stabilizers alcohol won´t make you hi, just sick. If you were only in benzos and alcohol then you would get the buzz.

Yeah I'm on 4 MH meds- Effexor, Lamictal, Seroquel and Ativan. I haven't had any alcohol in over a year.

 

[Girobatol]

When I did that mix (similar meds + alcohol) I didn´t enjoy it and the alcohol just gave me a fast heart beat. So I wouln´t use alcohol, just the benzos. And too many benzos are not better than a couple ones.

 

[Kvotheloner]

I've tried 3 times in a 2 year period and never could do it. Not bragging but I'm an ex Army sniper. I've seen reports of 12 and 13 year olds doing it. Makes me feel like such a man, lol. Anyway, I bought the cocktail I need to fall asleep on the dark web and am looking forward to it in a couple weeks. :)

 

[metalchic_74]

When I did that mix (similar meds + alcohol) I didn´t enjoy it and the alcohol just gave me a fast heart beat. So I wouln´t use alcohol, just the benzos. And too many benzos are not better than a couple ones.

My prescription is 1 mg of Ativan. I have about 40 of them.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/ways-of-making-peace-with-dying.5212/

This thread was incredibly helpful for me. It resonates on many levels and has a bunch of very clear and concise points.

 

[howard]

Ehhhhhhh if you're asking this you're not ready. I'm not tryina help anyone overcome their fear, lol. That's a personal, private thing. No one here is going to encourage you to catch the bus. I wish you well.

Hi, I have to agree with Boonks here.
I am choosing different method, but still i think the time may not be right.

 

[SweetSpot086]

I've tried 3 times in a 2 year period and never could do it. Not bragging but I'm an ex Army sniper. I've seen reports of 12 and 13 year olds doing it. Makes me feel like such a man, lol. Anyway, I bought the cocktail I need to fall asleep on the dark web and am looking forward to it in a couple weeks. :)

You dont have acess to firearms? And, what cocktail did you buy?

 

[Kvotheloner]

You dont have acess to firearms? And, what cocktail did you buy?

I do but I have some consideration for the people that will find me. I have a mix of pheno, alpro, and oxy.

 

[SweetSpot086]

I do but I have some consideration for the people that will find me. I have a mix of pheno, alpro, and oxy.

I have tried the combination of phenobarbital and alprazolam..too slow..12 hrs in, nothing happened, just deep sleep..was found..maybe, oxy would speed up things..just buy heroin from the dark web

 

[MeltingHeart]

I've tried 3 times in a 2 year period and never could do it. Not bragging but I'm an ex Army sniper. I've seen reports of 12 and 13 year olds doing it. Makes me feel like such a man, lol. Anyway, I bought the cocktail I need to fall asleep on the dark web and am looking forward to it in a couple weeks. :)

teens that young have much lower inhibtion, less fear & thought about the permanency of death and alot more impulsivity - its so sad because that 'facilitates' them doing it, even though there is a good chance they might have been able to overcome their problems in the long term & have been ok in life, where it not for that moment of pain combined with the hormones & brain not fully developed- then later in life-when you really want to do it & potentially have no where nr as much hope of having a good life as those youngsters- it is much harder to do- it should be the other way around! So shocking how many news reports there are of kids doing this :(

 

[Kvotheloner]

I have tried the combination of phenobarbital and alprazolam..too slow..12 hrs in, nothing happened, just deep sleep..was found..maybe, oxy would speed up things..just buy heroin from the dark web

Heroin isn't the best bet, unless you end up with something heavily cut with F. I'm taking about 3 lethal doses of each, not chancing it. lol. Except the Xanax, just a really large dose to synergyze with gaba receprtors.

 

[SweetSpot086]

Heroin isn't the best bet, unless you end up with something heavily cut with F. I'm taking about 3 lethal doses worth of each, not chancing it. lol. Except the Xanax, just a really large dose to synergyze with gaba receprtors.

I still think it would be slow..just make sure, you have time..btw, how much did your cocktail cost altogether?

 

[Kvotheloner]

I still think it would be slow..just make sure, you have time..btw, how much did your cocktail cost altogether?

Close to 500 I think. Im pretty sure the oxy is partially F, I sampled a half of one and it knocked me out for 18 hours. Have about 20. But I've never used opiates and am not sure how to compare, and don't really have the time to get a tester. I've got a good camping spot picked out :)

 

[SweetSpot086]

Close to 500 I think. Im pretty sure the oxy is partially F, I sampled a half of one and it knocked me out for 18 hours. Have about 20. But I've never really used opiates and am not sure how to compare, and don't really have the time to get a tester. I've got a good camping spot picked out :)

Good Luck

 

[Lady black]

Put the noose around your neck take a big load of sleeping pills and wait until they work. You will hang without knowing it

 

[brain problems]

I need help with this as well. After my first failed attempt, I'm too scared to try again out of fear of ending up alive in the hospital again. Alcohol helps with calming the nerves, but it also makes you clumsy so idk

 

[Neverod]

As part of yr studies do you think any of yr syllabus may look at suicide?! you have great access to background reseach! thou I guess you wouldnt really be able to use any of it. Interesting thought thou.

We had a class with the name of: "rationality of suicide", it was interesting, but for obvious reasons the teacher wasn't able to publicly tell us the names of some books and essays that talk about it, but he told me the name of some of them in a private conversation, and what drives a human to do it.

 

[MeltingHeart]

We had a class with the name of: "rationality of suicide", it was interesting, but for obvious reasons the teacher wasn't able to publicly tell us the names of some books and essays that talk about it, but he told me the name of some of them in a private conversation, and what drives a human to do it.

The reasons seems so complex & unique to the individual- it must be so hard to collect 'data' on -there are so many factors & variables -from yr life & how you feel about things- it's so intrinsically linked to feelings- which are so hard to not only articulate - let alone be able understand from someone else's point of view-& also to quantify. Those that didn't leave a note & those that didn't even have depression exactly- we may never know. It not just a subset of society that do it - but young, old , rich , poor, sick & not ,bad mental health & no distinguishable mental health issues - it can happen to anyone - although I do view it as a very brave thing to do. Though those pro lifers would obvs disagree.

 

[passenger27]

I'd leisurely pop a few Ativan at a time after I had the rope set up, sip on some vodka, then put the noose around my neck till I started fading out, then kick the chair. Maybe spacing them out would help you from getting sick. Have some depressing music going in the background (stuff like Fade To Black by Metallica, Nine Inch Nails, etc...) & think of all the bullshit that got you to the point you're at. Or try like hell to get some meto, put the noose around your neck, & knock back every pill you have at once.

Just ideas not encouraging in any way, it's just I'm in the same boat so I get it.