Help How to make sure no one finds my body

[thx1138]

Hello there,

This is my first post on this forum. Thank you for reading.

My question is, how can I CTB in a way so that nobody will find my body? Bonus points if it seems like an accident because I don't want to hurt my mother.

So far, my idea is to tell my mom I'm going hiking, then hang myself on a tree somewhere deep in the woods. I plan to tell her I'm going to a different place than I will actually go to, so she has no chance of finding me.

Problem is, there are no big woods near where I live. I was thinking of going to the Black Forest (I'm living in Germany since a few months), but I have no idea if that's a good idea. Is there anyone from Germany who can maybe suggest a deserted area that people don't visit? What kind of region/ what time of day should I choose so there is the least possibility that someone will find me and I won't look suspicious going there? Do you have any other ideas?

Thanks in advance.

 

[Subhuman]

I don't know how to make it look like an accident, but I'll try to make sure no one finds me for as long as possible too. I'm opting for the woods as well. I'm using this site in combination with Google Maps to scope out a suitable area. Hope this helps!

 

[TiredHorse]

Just to be contradictory, I considered the same thing for a long time: CTB without leaving a corpse. However, I came to the realization that vanishing would leave my family forever wondering what had happened. There would be no answers, no closure, no way to reconcile themselves to what had happened because they would never know just what happened. Their pain at my death would never have a chance to scar over; it would linger forever.

I'm sure you'll come up with several ways to accomplish not leaving a corpse, but think very hard about whether it really is --as you apparently hope for it to be-- the kindest thing for your family.

 

[not_a_robot]

nature's garbage disposal.

 

[jake3d]

I plan to ctb in a forest too, but I've left a note to a trusted friend so there is closure.

 

[Pupuce]

I don't think hiding your body in a way or another will be doable. People are bound to find you at some point, only the time it will take will vary. However, the Balck Forest seems to have a few points where you could jump from, and if no one knows of your will to ctb, surely people will go for the accidental fall.
As for the time of day, night would be the obvious idea, but i might suggest not going on summer as that is most likely the period where there will be a lot of tourists.

 

[thx1138]

Thank you for the responses. @not_a_robot, you made me laugh for the first time in ages!

I also considered that my family may not be able to get closure. But would they seriously expect me to emerge from the woods a month, a year, two years after I "disappeared"? Seems like after a certain period of time acceptance will come, just like with death.

I imagined the same scenario in my head - if my friend disappeared one day, would I be more upset if I knew they killed themselves or if they just vanished? If it was the former, I would feel more depressed, guilty over not talking to them enough, not helping them enough, and also more anger and disgust from the violence of the act... There is a reason suicide is such a taboo and why people do everything in their power to stop you from doing it. It tends to be more traumatic for other people than natural death.

Nevertheless, I understand your opinions and really appreciate the discussion.
@Pupuce, I didn't even know there are jumping points. Do you have specific examples? You're right about summer and tourists, but unfortunately I don't have much time left :( Looking to do it in the next few weeks.

 

[Pupuce]

There are bridges along a railway, and looking at wikipedia there are several bridges tall enough to jump, as well as some waterfalls.
And there is Baumwipfelpfad Schwarzwald which is an elevated hiking path, so surely there places along that as well, though i'm not sure it has something to do with the Black Forest.

 

[Asta]

A friend of mine had a sister who loaded her backpack with rocks and walked into a river, but her body was found later. I would think if someone walked into the ocean or a lake, they might not be found. Or perhaps took a boat out and if the water was deep enough...?

 

[Soul]

What about a cave? There seem to be a lot of caves in Germany - maybe not all of them are well guarded or overrun by tourists? If I could find a secluded spot I might try something like the night-night method.

 

[Longman]

So far, my idea is to tell my mom I'm going hiking, then hang myself on a tree somewhere deep in the woods. I plan to tell her I'm going to a different place than I will actually go to, so she has no chance of finding me.

If your skeleton is found some day, it will be clear it was suicide. SN method is better (you can wash SN container with pure water after ingesting SN, so no traces of SN will be left).

 

[thx1138]

Thanks a lot guys. Never heard of the night night method until now - I found the thread and it seems great.

A cave sounds very appealing and peaceful for some reason. I know a bunch in my region, although they're more tourist-y.

I'm worried about obtaining antiemetics for SN, but I will look into it. That's true about the skeleton, although at least it would be hard to identify me by then. Hopefully some wild animal will just eat me and scatter the bones lol.

 

[Lara Francis]

Hi @ldlzrs
A warm welcome to the forum.
May I please give you a perspective from a mothers point of view.
I am not questioning your choice to ctb as that is your decision but if my son went missing and was pursumed dead,i would not accept it until it was confirmed.look at the high profile cases such as madiline mc cann and the toddler in greece ( sorry cant remember his name).These parents have been searching for decades !
I know you dont want to hurt your mum but in the long run,not allowing your body to be found is prolonging her pain each and everyday because not knowing would be soul destroying and giving a false sense of hope.
I hope i dont offend you and its not my intention to guilt trip you but this is how it would be .please please reconsider.
she will be upset at your passing but like others have said,closure and acceptence is an important part of the grief process so recovery can be possible.
I have no idea why my writing is in yellow but nevermind.
xx

 

[Juggernaut]

Why would you never want to be found? It leaves the eternal "what if" question for your family which is harder to accept than you killing yourself. There is no closure for them. Chances are you will eventually be found anyway, just depends on how long. Factors to consider are where you live and search resources. Tons of people disappear every year and are never found even with the help of forensics. You have to be knowledgable on covering your tracks and misdirecting. Make sure they dont start looking for you until at least a week has passed, that will make it difficult to find you even with the help of dogs. After a week of searching they will likely stop a rescue search and consider it a "recovery" search which means they think you're dead and no longer a priority. But again it depends in how persistent your family is to find you. In the US they are still looking to recover the body for a girl who went missing in the Northern Cascades earlier this year. The family wants her found so they have organized volunteer searches when the official search was called off. She was hiking on a trail she had hiked often but she never returned. Search efforts of over a month found no trace of her, not even her backpack. She just disappeared.

 

[thx1138]

Thank you guys, I really need to reflect on your input. When so many people say disappearing is worse, there must be truth to it.

Just so you know where I'm coming from: I tried to ctb before, and the first reaction of my family was to accuse me of being an evil, selfish, weak, attention-seeking devil-child. Saying there is nothing I could possibly do to hurt them more. And the guilt is still palpable. Guilt is the only thing keeping me alive in the last 8 years and making me hide all my problems. But this has only led to more pain for everyone. It can't go on.

Is there anything else I can do to minimize the damage? I guess what Pupuce said about jumping but making it seem like a fall. Although they'll probably know because I tried to jump before. Maybe just writing them a very detailed note and apologizing.

I truly appreciate your perspective, @Lara. I wish you lots of inner peace and happiness <3

 

[Juggernaut]

Thank you guys, I really need to reflect on your input. When so many people say disappearing is worse, there must be truth to it.

Just so you know where I'm coming from: I tried to ctb before, and the first reaction of my family was to accuse me of being an evil, selfish, weak, attention-seeking devil-child. Saying there is nothing I could possibly do to hurt them more. And the guilt is still palpable. Guilt is the only thing keeping me alive in the last 8 years and making me hide all my problems. But this has only led to more pain for everyone. It can't go on.

Is there anything else I can do to minimize the damage? I guess what Pupuce said about jumping but making it seem like a fall. Although they'll probably know because I tried to jump before. Maybe just writing them a very detailed note and apologizing.

I truly appreciate your perspective, @Lara. I wish you lots of inner peace and happiness <3

It doesn't really sound like you're ready to go just yet, but when or if you do If you have access to a lake or river you can always drown. Jumping to me is really scary and the mess..... but I hear you, guilt kept me here too for the last few months, my mom telling me "think of my heart" but then I reminded myself that it's my life and I should have the right to end it when I want to

Whatever you decide to do, just be sure it's what you really want