How to make neurotypicals aware of your needs as an autistic person?

[4_science]

Neurotypicals constantly walk over me disregarding my needs even if I utter them basically asking for help.

Today´s example: I was at the pharmacy to pick up my prescription for a blood pressure monitor. The pharmacist was showing me devices. Person behind me constantly talked over the pharmacist to talk about their experiences and why they think is best for me. Wrist monitor or arm. I was so overwhelmed by a person talking to me and the backseat comments at the same time.
When I was with a new doctor today I told them I am autistic. They started talking very slow and getting way too close as if they were talking to a child. Very irritating. I went to grab dinner at a kebab. I ordered a vegetarian kebab with fries on the side as an extra. Meaning I wanted the kebab and separately boxed fries. The person did not understand what I meant and ended up telling me they don´t know what I want. No language barrier.

How can I be more clear or interact to get what I want without causing frustration on both sides?

How can I make people aware without being rude or dismissing another person? How can I make people stop belittling me or overwhelming me without them lashing at me?

Any experiences? I am sick of being walked over.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I think it's just the way people are, and some people have prejudices. I've experienced something similar and it's very frustrating for me, if anyone knows me they will understand why I intensely dislike people talking down to me because of my family or whatever.

ex 1. I would just grin and bear it there but tried to get the article that's best for you and not what some backseat person implies.

ex 2. You can either don't tell people you're autistic or tell them how you felt, but humans will be human, there's always a chance they hold a grudge afterwards :(

ex 3. It's not your fault, just ask again for a vegetarian kebab and separately boxed fries. If they can't understand that, then I don't know.

Best of wishes and I'm sorry for your suffering!!

 

[4_science]

Thank you. I have never had a positive experience telling people I´m autistic asking for help. Where I am from it is a disability, but people don´t see it. They´d hold the door for a person in a wheelchair no questions asked.

All the little things in daily life just grind me down and I end up questioning myself leaving me wonder if it is really that much of a stretch for people to help a person who is struggling out. Or defend myself because their idea of autism is different.

 

[ChiseHatori]

Thank you. I have never had a positive experience telling people I´m autistic asking for help. Where I am from it is a disability, but people don´t see it. They´d hold the door for a person in a wheelchair no questions asked.

All the little things in daily life just grind me down and I end up questioning myself leaving me wonder if it is really that much of a stretch for people to help a person who is struggling out. Or defend myself because their idea of autism is different.

As an ambulatory wheelchair user, many people don't even 'hold the door' or accommodate space for us. A good portion of people are just rude due to either trauma or something in their upbringing or lives, mental health, etc. I try not to blame them personally since I don't know their story.

What I'm saying is that it's not a you thing, or even an autistic thing. I'm also saying this as someone who's autistic, some (possibly many) people are just not gonna get along with you, accommodate you, listen to you, etc. I'm not saying you have to be on guard 24/7, but you do need to keep some caution when interacting with any stranger.

You can try to tell them your situation, but it's up to chance if that helps or not. It's (generally speaking) harder for autistic people like us to read others, so it is truly a game of chance.

Really the only thing that helped me is to always have at least one trusted and able friend with me that has my back, physically, emotionally. But not everyone has that luxury. Just do your best out there, some people are genuinely kind and will be accommodating. Good luck.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I ordered a vegetarian kebab with fries on the side as an extra. Meaning I wanted the kebab and separately boxed fries. The person did not understand what I meant and ended up telling me they don´t know what I want. No language barrier.

i wish i could tell you something about everything else, but personally i can see the confusion here if you said it exactly as you stated "kebab with fries on the side as an extra" you would have been better off with the second thing you said "may i please have the fries in their own box?"

 

[damyon]

Interacting with neurotypical (NT) people can be challenging (speaking from my experience).

I'm not going to sugarcoat the harsh reality: people will not buy your stuff if they don't want it. That is, they will not become aware of your needs if they don't care.

How can I be more clear or interact to get what I want without causing frustration on both sides?

Study how NTs communicate. If you confirm that you are talking to an NT person, use the same logic that a NT person would use. (or lack thereof - but this is my elitist opinion)

I have never had a positive experience telling people I´m autistic asking for help.

You shouldn't (do it IRL). Unless the other person is close to you, they will not understand (i.e., acknowledge) your struggles.
This forum is an exception. People here are more supportive

Where I am from it is a disability, but people don´t see it. They´d hold the door for a person in a wheelchair no questions asked.

The overwhelming majority (not 50%, but closer to 95%) judges only by appearance. However, many autistic people do not. I would suggest connecting with people who are also autistic. For example, there are lots of them on the website.

 

[4_science]

Thanks so much for your replies guys! I do feel better. <3

I am not used to telling how I feel because nobody bothered or told me I was wrong or being weird. Not the case here. I get advice and different points of view. Helpful!