Capt. Mothfly
Member
- Mar 27, 2021
- 26
Hello darlings,
I am sorry if there is a similar topic already. but I wanted my own thread as I feel very depressed and just the possibility of discussing my problem with other people helps a lot with the pain of my soul.
The thing is, I am depressed, chronically suicidal and super poor. I can't seem to focus on learning anything or working mentally as I just cannot focus on the abyss of reality, my brain simply keeps refusing this disgusting parody of an existence and nothing seems to cheer me up. Doc gave me some Lexapro, which is nothing but a useless shit for me at this point, to be honest. Nobody is there for me yet I cannot just leave this pain-in-the-ass life as I still have some tasks and duties for the next five years that I need to complete. Then I am free to go.
I long for that day with my heart, I have a date and a plan and everything. But it's still five fucking years.
I need some big ass money to survive these five years and I don't know how. I lack schools and I lack any kind of a support. Instead, I am the support. So my days go like surviving from one cigarette to another and my fuel are cheap energy drinks that are hardly keeping me awake. I am a factory worker with multiple sclerosis and terrible at communication with people as I have difficulties speaking sometimes - stuttering and shit like that. On my days off I just sleep and wish I was dead.
Since I need to pay a lot, this factory work barely covers my expenses.
What would you do in my situation? I am considering onlyfans but I am not really good looking. Actually, I am pretty fat from white flour food and those energy drinks. But I could put on a lot of makeup and work from home and it's not so mentally demanding as for instance selling banking products or mobile tariffs to people.
I need a money boost. Something really good paying. What would you do in my situation? Right now I am considering the only fans thing. At least if I am lucky, I could finally start donating here.
If I could I would sell my soul to the devil for this.
Thank you very much y'all.
I am sorry if there is a similar topic already. but I wanted my own thread as I feel very depressed and just the possibility of discussing my problem with other people helps a lot with the pain of my soul.
The thing is, I am depressed, chronically suicidal and super poor. I can't seem to focus on learning anything or working mentally as I just cannot focus on the abyss of reality, my brain simply keeps refusing this disgusting parody of an existence and nothing seems to cheer me up. Doc gave me some Lexapro, which is nothing but a useless shit for me at this point, to be honest. Nobody is there for me yet I cannot just leave this pain-in-the-ass life as I still have some tasks and duties for the next five years that I need to complete. Then I am free to go.
I long for that day with my heart, I have a date and a plan and everything. But it's still five fucking years.
I need some big ass money to survive these five years and I don't know how. I lack schools and I lack any kind of a support. Instead, I am the support. So my days go like surviving from one cigarette to another and my fuel are cheap energy drinks that are hardly keeping me awake. I am a factory worker with multiple sclerosis and terrible at communication with people as I have difficulties speaking sometimes - stuttering and shit like that. On my days off I just sleep and wish I was dead.
Since I need to pay a lot, this factory work barely covers my expenses.
What would you do in my situation? I am considering onlyfans but I am not really good looking. Actually, I am pretty fat from white flour food and those energy drinks. But I could put on a lot of makeup and work from home and it's not so mentally demanding as for instance selling banking products or mobile tariffs to people.
I need a money boost. Something really good paying. What would you do in my situation? Right now I am considering the only fans thing. At least if I am lucky, I could finally start donating here.
If I could I would sell my soul to the devil for this.
Thank you very much y'all.