How to live in a world not designed for me

[Aplev]

A lot of people say the same. But I mean... really.

You're supposed to small talk. To not care *that* much about people. To tell lies here and there. To (try) to take care of yourself and not worry about others. To not expect everyone's attention at all times. To be on your own at times. To be with company at others.

To tolerate stuff. To 'face the difficulties ahead'. To enjoy the good times... and let the bad pass by. To accept things just for what they are, and be grateful for whatever you have. To not complain, to seek solutions. To fight for things, to deserve things. To pretend. To pretend everything's ok... when it totally isn't. To not ask questions... to just enjoy whatever life is putting in your way. To have fun. To have your own thoughts. To have your own hobbies. To have your own goals, your own dreams. To be funny.

... All things that don't match in the slightest with my biology.

What the hell? Urgh...

 

[encore]

feels like i could've written this. for now i just feel like an awkward ball of pain, suffering and confusion kinda floating away in this world and trying to find a place i fit in with all my weirdness and stuff. not being able to human correctly and as expected. i think we will never fit in. at least i don't want to. i don't want to be the same or feel the same as people who just can't get me. we're same species yet so wildly different at the time.

not to doomer too much but i'm glad this life is completely optional as far as we know it. lately im less tolerant to it though. but i digress.

 

[username12345]

What I have the most is when people act like trauma is part of normal ups and downs of life and treat you like you have to suffer in silence while they need support for something completely trivial.

 

[Defatigatis]

A lot of people say the same. But I mean... really.

You're supposed to small talk. To not care *that* much about people. To tell lies here and there. To (try) to take care of yourself and not worry about others. To not expect everyone's attention at all times. To be on your own at times. To be with company at others.

To tolerate stuff. To 'face the difficulties ahead'. To enjoy the good times... and let the bad pass by. To accept things just for what they are, and be grateful for whatever you have. To not complain, to seek solutions. To fight for things, to deserve things. To pretend. To pretend everything's ok... when it totally isn't. To not ask questions... to just enjoy whatever life is putting in your way. To have fun. To have your own thoughts. To have your own hobbies. To have your own goals, your own dreams. To be funny.

... All things that don't match in the slightest with my biology.

What the hell? Urgh...

I can relate so much with this, like you, i feel being a foreigner in this miserable world, every. single. day

 

[FuneralCry]

I also see myself as just not meant for any of this, I just never should had existed and I wish I never did more than anything, to me existing really is only suffering and I suffer just from being burdened with this existence.

 

[LetMeOut67]

Another demand is that you shouldn't ever complain no matter how awful things get

How this system survives I'll never understand
Why people are still breeding I'll never understand
It is non stop jumping through hopes and I regard it as a fate worse than death to have been dragged into it

 

[Hollowman]

If you're not funny at least some of the time you're screwed. Not to many people want to be around someone with a dull sense of humor.

 

[Marcus Wright]

Felt this, I'm pretty sure I'm a human but if we are phone models then I'm the type to be too broken that it's just better to buy a new one because the cost of fixing the broken one is more expensive than to replace it. Definitely not built for this world as well.

 

[Hollowman]

If you're not funny at least some of the time you're screwed. Not to many people want to be around someone with a dull sense of humor.

I didn't mean you personally I meant in general. It's one of the reasons I'm alone.

 

[Aplev]

feels like i could've written this. for now i just feel like an awkward ball of pain, suffering and confusion kinda floating away in this world and trying to find a place i fit in with all my weirdness and stuff. not being able to human correctly and as expected. i think we will never fit in. at least i don't want to. i don't want to be the same or feel the same as people who just can't get me. we're same species yet so wildly different at the time.

not to doomer too much but i'm glad this life is completely optional as far as we know it. lately im less tolerant to it though. but i digress.

Same! I don't want to be the same as other people.

What do you mean by "this life is completely optional"? I wish I could have been gone a long time ago. I'm also less tolerant to it.

If you're not funny at least some of the time you're screwed. Not to many people want to be around someone with a dull sense of humor.

Yeah, that's how people treat you (excluding you, giving you the looks etc.) when you don't follow certain 'social standards'.

It's one of the reasons I'm alone too.

Another demand is that you shouldn't ever complain no matter how awful things get

How this system survives I'll never understand
Why people are still breeding I'll never understand
It is non stop jumping through hopes and I regard it as a fate worse than death to have been dragged into it

Precisely. Why should I be funny, have sense of humor or whatever. Why am I made to look like I'm the one in the wrong, like I'm the one who has to adapt to others, and not others to me? Why it isn't the other way around?

I envy the dead.