Discussion How to get someone to find you after ctb

[weallneedtovent]

So I'm planning my ctb route, nearly nailed down method, but I've got an issue about being found.

I live alone (barring my cats) and it could realistically take a few weeks for anyone to come to my house if I did end it.

I don't really want my parents seeing the mess if I use SN either. And could do with being found within a couple of days (so my cats don't eat me)

Tried searching for stuff in the forum, but any thoughts everyone?

 

[Fehler]

In my case, I will send a scheduled email to the local police, I think it is the best option for this type of situation.

 

[weallneedtovent]

In my case, I will send a scheduled email to the local police, I think it is the best option for this type of situation.

I don't think the police in the UK operate like that, it'd take them a week to read it. Plus I'd be worried it wouldn't send either

 

[ItsTimeToExit]

Who are going to take care of your cats when you're gone?

 

[weallneedtovent]

Who are going to take care of your cats when you're gone?

It's in my will that my mother gets them (she doesn't have a choice in it)

 

[Fehler]

Depressing...but no wonder, I was already surprised that they responded to me the same day, I sent them an email with a random request to see how long it would take. I also add that I would copy the mail to another police force just in case (we have here the local police, squad mossos, national police, civil guard)...
If you could not send it to the owner of the house? (if you are renting) Or some contact...even a company, requesting that they send the police to your home. I can't think of any other way, and just like you, I don't want my family to find me either.

 

[Littlepaws]

There is a way to text message the police, but you do have to register for this service. There are also some apps out there that allow the scheduling of SMS messages.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

You could write them a letter and send it through the mail. Or send a letter to a neighbor and say to call the cops.

 

[weallneedtovent]

You could write them a letter and send it through the mail. Or send a letter to a neighbor and say to call the cops.

I think this one in UK is probably best.
The police don't sadly have an SMS system.

Just out of interest. Anyone avoiding SN due to the way you look afterwards? I saw some photos earlier this week that were a bit of a shock…

 

[Smart No More]

You could write them a letter and send it through the mail. Or send a letter to a neighbor and say to call the cops.

Its not a bad idea. I would say send 2 or 3 copies to be sure that it gets delivered. Royal Mail are apparently suffering issues as a result of covid and more mail goes missing as a result.

The tricky thing about this method though is that you have to know that SI won't kick in and your method will work once you have posted the mail. For me I want to hit send at the very last moment or have the certainty that somebody will naturally find me within 48hrs for the sake of my cat.
I don't like the sound of SN at all. I can't see how it's considered peaceful personally.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Since my mom knows about my intentions, I will leave her a note in a place that isn't immediately obvious, but she will see it.

 

[weallneedtovent]

Its not a bad idea. I would say send 2 or 3 copies to be sure that it gets delivered. Royal Mail are apparently suffering issues as a result of covid and more mail goes missing as a result.

The tricky thing about this method though is that you have to know that SI won't kick in and your method will work once you have posted the mail. For me I want to hit send at the very last moment or have the certainty that somebody will naturally find me within 48hrs for the sake of my cat.
I don't like the sound of SN at all. I can't see how it's considered peaceful personally.

Yeah that's defiantly not a bad shout at all.

The other thing I was thinking was sticking a sign on my front door (people walk past a fair bit during the morning) as i plan to ctb at night

SN has been quite easy to get hold of, which is why I've asked, but very few have your view on it which is odd

 

[Littlepaws]

I think this one in UK is probably best.
The police don't sadly have an SMS system.

Yes they do. "emergencySMS"

 

[Smart No More]

Yeah, I don't know if I'm missing something but it just sound quite a violent way to go. Vomiting your last minutes away etc. Like I say, maybe I'm missing something. I've just assumed that the availability and certainty of it is it's selling point.

 

[kingkong57]

I have the same situation except I don't have anybody to take care of my cats, so I'm planning on giving them up for adoption a day or two before I ctb. Even typing that makes me feel incredibly guilty but I am so desperate, I have to believe they will be better off with whoever takes them.
In response to how to get someone to find you, I think to avoid your parents finding you and to ensure someone finds you within the 2 days you would be best going to a hotel. You could then leave a note for the cleaner to warn them, and bring your cats with you on the sly.
I understand if you've chosen to stay at home then that couldn't be an option. A letter to the police is probably your best bet.
I'm sorry life hasn't treated you kindly enough, and I wish you a painless exit if you do ctb.

 

[weallneedtovent]

Yes they do. "emergencySMS"

Huh, I do apologise!

Having a google, been around since 2009! But you do have to pre-register for it, cheers for that. Not widely known I don't think

I have the same situation except I don't have anybody to take care of my cats, so I'm planning on giving them up for adoption a day or two before I ctb. Even typing that makes me feel incredibly guilty but I am so desperate, I have to believe they will be better off with whoever takes them.
In response to how to get someone to find you, I think to avoid your parents finding you and to ensure someone finds you within the 2 days you would be best going to a hotel. You could then leave a note for the cleaner to warn them, and bring your cats with you on the sly.
I understand if you've chosen to stay at home then that couldn't be an option. A letter to the police is probably your best bet.
I'm sorry life hasn't treated you kindly enough, and I wish you a painless exit if you do ctb.

I know what you mean. Pre-Covid I used to randomly start crying at work as I'd had a thought about losing the cats. People thought I was genuinely insane… but that's what I'm hoping for too, someone that'll be loving to take care of them.

I'd thought about the hotel thing, I feel slightly funny to it. Spent a fair few years living out of them and never felt comfortable enough to sleep, never mind ctb. But might be worth some more thought as you're right the daily cleaning service would mean being found (with a note) pretty quickly.

Thank you for your kind words. I hope your life improves so that you can keep your cats, or peace in ctb.

 

[Bedrock48]

Useful thread, it's been something I've worried over for a bit too. I was thinking maybe using a crisis line with an email address, sending them an email titled "Suicide at [redacted] - URGENT". Other than that a silent call to emergency services could work although the time between your call and their response might not be enough for a successful CTB. I always worry a letter on a door could fall off or be missed but might be useful as a backup. I understand the concern, I'd hate to be found days or weeks later potentially by a loved one.

 

[Fullmoonishere]

I think this one in UK is probably best.
The police don't sadly have an SMS system.

Just out of interest. Anyone avoiding SN due to the way you look afterwards? I saw some photos earlier this week that were a bit of a shock…

Would you mind sharing where you saw the photos? I'm considering SN and never before heard that you might look bad after using this method. Thanks!

 

[phoenixx]

My main plan involves ctb at a hotel. I plan on booking the hotel for only 1 night, maybe 2. I plan on partial hanging myself in the bathroom (that's one method I'm considering anyway). I will make sure the bathroom door is locked and I will leave a note on that door for hotel staff not to enter and to call police as there is a body inside. Hopefully by doing this, the police will find me and not anyone else.

 

[weallneedtovent]

Would you mind sharing where you saw the photos? I'm considering SN and never before heard that you might look bad after using this method. Thanks!

If you go into the Wiki under SN there are quite a few photos. But the one that got me was "fig 2 [1]"

 

[HomesickAlien]

I'll probably do it in a hotel or camping site and send a scheduled email to management so they call the police.

 

[bluesrock]

So I'm planning my ctb route, nearly nailed down method, but I've got an issue about being found.

I live alone (barring my cats) and it could realistically take a few weeks for anyone to come to my house if I did end it.

I don't really want my parents seeing the mess if I use SN either. And could do with being found within a couple of days (so my cats don't eat me)

Tried searching for stuff in the forum, but any thoughts everyone?

There is an app that can send messages and emails later. You can leave your doors unlocked and put a message for emergency services 12 hours later.

 

[Smart No More]

What's the app?

 

[bluesrock]

apps name Do It Later

 

[weallneedtovent]

The iOS version is literally a scam

apps name Do It Later

 

[StevieNixs]

So I'm planning my ctb route, nearly nailed down method, but I've got an issue about being found.

I live alone (barring my cats) and it could realistically take a few weeks for anyone to come to my house if I did end it.

I don't really want my parents seeing the mess if I use SN either. And could do with being found within a couple of days (so my cats don't eat me)

Tried searching for stuff in the forum, but any thoughts everyone?

Do you live in Europe - specifically the UK? If so then there is an organisation called the Cat Protection League which has something called the Cat Guardian Service which will come and get a cat/cats the moment an owner dies. If not, check to see if there is something similar in your country?

I don't think the police in the UK operate like that, it'd take them a week to read it. Plus I'd be worried it wouldn't send either

It really would take them that long.

 

[Smart No More]

Whilst places like the cat peotection league are highly commendable I couldn't put my cat through that. I need to find somebody who really understands and cares. Not that they don't. It's just that they would be like invaders stealing her away in her eyes. It would be so distrsssing. I rescued her she and I have a relarionship that is hard to grasp to most outsiders. (don't get me wrong, I'm not having a romantic relationship with my cat lol!) I just mean I would be betraying her if I left her like that. She doesn't let a single human other than me near her. We have a kind of shorthand. Cats actually communicate with body language and moat people don't take pick up on it. Whwn tou socthoufh, it's amazing the relationship you can have with some cats. Particularly certain breeds that are really intelligent. My cat knows me. It would take years for her to trust another human. If ever. They would think she was just a crap cat and wouldn't know her intricacies and how to look after her properly. Probably sounds ridiculous ro most people.

 

[NoPointToContinue]

Send delayed mail to someone you know and warn them beforehand that you will send them some mail, so they read it.

 

[Smart No More]

There's quite a few sites where you can send an email to your future self. If you google it you'll find loads. I think somebodh else mentioned this also.

Basically find one which allows you to send withing a specific time. i.e minutes and hours not just months or years. You can then tell whoever you plan to email that they will receive an important email within that time period and that they should be sure to check their trash etc.

Unfortunately I don't have enough confidence in this method because there is room for error. If the person you are emailing is particularly reliable with these types of things that is a plus but generally it is open to error. It is a useful tool under the right cercumstances though so I thought I'd mention it as an addition to @NoPointToContinue 's post above. I just searched sites for emailing my future self and there are loads. You would need to find ones that don't have conflicting constraints on time and which email address you can send to. I suspect some will have you sign up using your email addy and only let you swnd your future mail to that address.
..... There may be a delayed option to send mail from ypur standard mail client which I'm overlooking/unaware of. If so ignkre me lol.
Still, I am not confident in mail reaching its destination with 100% certainty. Too many factors/room for error.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

And could do with being found within a couple of days (so my cats don't eat me)

First, I'm really sorry you're hurting so much you're here. I don't have any advice on how to time being found (other than using a delayed digital message--like email with a send-on-date pre-program). But thank you for a much-needed laugh. After reading your line above, I thought of myself dead, cats around me hungry. They start sniffing at me, then finally gnawing on me. But then I come back to life, chunks of meat gouged out of me. And they're all like, "Oh, hey, buddy! You OK?" Trying to act all innocent-like while bits of me are still stuck in their whiskers...

Thanks for the dark-humor inspiration! :) Wishing you the best.