Help How to get rid of the fear of failing to CTB?

[dingokettle3531]

Hi guys, if anyone has had this and has already decided on doing it, how? I really want to CTB, I'm tired of everything, I'm afraid, everything is terrible and backfires or I get tired of it after some time and move on to the next "happiness generator", but I'm really afraid of having a failed attempt and having brain damage, or any kind of critical injury that might fuck me up more than I already am, or having to face my friends and partner after telling them I'd kill myself. I can't with that, and the thought of it scares me more than anything, any ideas? The methods I have in mind to CTB are hanging or jumping off a very tall building but these aren't foolproof and I don't want to mess it up.

 

[MrDarkness]

You could get really drunk or high, personally I'm fine with death, I hate heights tho, it just takes time to get used to and over come the fear, it's not easy at all

 

[dingokettle3531]

You could get really drunk or high, personally I'm fine with death, I hate heights tho, it just takes time to get used to and over come the fear, it's not easy at all

Those are good ideas honestly, I'm personally not afraid of death or heights or anything like that, what I fear is what'll happen if I fail the attempt, I really don't think I'd be able to face everyone after that

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

Ways of making peace with dying
[Onion Link] Ways of making peace with dying

There are a few ways you can make methods more consistent at the cost of peacefulness or ease of preparation.

You can also choose to go for a very reliable method like inert gas.

I've also seen a bag and rubber band frequently suggested by the suicide FAQ. I'm unsure of how accurate this information is based on information on ASH and might be outdated by today's standards. I haven't heard of it ever being suggested on here nor do I know what it is.

Vizzy's guide on SN is by far the most comprehensive I've come across on here so if you do want to use SN as your method I'd recommend following this guide.
Vizzy's SN Bible
[Onion Link] Vizzy's SN Bible

If I had to choose between jumping or hanging I'd recommend jumping in your case. If you land on your head from a high enough building you shouldn't have any chances of revival.

I would check out the Suicide Resource Compilation though. I can't recommend anything in particular but I'll leave the link to it here.
Suicide Resource Compilation
[Onion Link] Suicide Resource Compilation

 

[spinningmyself]

I have finally figured out how I am going to ctb, it does have a chance of not killing me instantly but if I am in any kind of vegetable or need any kind of machine to live my husband and family all know to not allow it. If I need any kind of medication I will not take it. I should be damaged enough if I don't die so I will rely on that. They have known for years that I will never go to a doctor or get any kind of medical care for any kind of health problems I may have or get. I have had chest pain and heart issues and circulation issues for a while and have thought I would have had something happen for the last couple years now. I am quite frankly tired of waiting for nature to do something so I have to get it done myself. I have finally started figuring out what I am going to do but I know it is going to be painful and as long as it looks like an accident I am ok with that. Life is full of all types of pain and seeing how society wants to keep taking peaceful ways from people who just want peace I am already used to pain. If it just takes more pain for me to end it I am coming to terms with it.

 

[FuneralCry]

The fear of failure is what terrifies me as well, a suicide attempt failing just sounds so incredibly horrific and it disgusts me how we cannot just leave in peace in a guaranteed way, I wish there was an easy answer to leaving this world, I find it dreadful how people even have to deal with these fears in the first place, it's inhumane.

 

[dingokettle3531]

Ways of making peace with dying
[Onion Link] Ways of making peace with dying

There are a few ways you can make methods more consistent at the cost of peacefulness or ease of preparation.

You can also choose to go for a very reliable method like inert gas.

I've also seen a bag and rubber band frequently suggested by the suicide FAQ. I'm unsure of how accurate this information is based on information on ASH and might be outdated by today's standards. I haven't heard of it ever being suggested on here nor do I know what it is.

Vizzy's guide on SN is by far the most comprehensive I've come across on here so if you do want to use SN as your method I'd recommend following this guide.
Vizzy's SN Bible
[Onion Link] Vizzy's SN Bible

If I had to choose between jumping or hanging I'd recommend jumping in your case. If you land on your head from a high enough building you shouldn't have any chances of revival.

I would check out the Suicide Resource Compilation though. I can't recommend anything in particular but I'll leave the link to it here.
Suicide Resource Compilation
[Onion Link] Suicide Resource Compilation

Thank you so much, I appreciate all of the help! I'll be checking out everything you've linked :) sadly I can't use SN due to lack of money, otherwise that'd be my go to method, I do think jumping is the most reliable out of the 2 I can go with but it can still be messed up by not landing on your head, as far as I know.

I have finally figured out how I am going to ctb, it does have a chance of not killing me instantly but if I am in any kind of vegetable or need any kind of machine to live my husband and family all know to not allow it. If I need any kind of medication I will not take it. I should be damaged enough if I don't die so I will rely on that. They have known for years that I will never go to a doctor or get any kind of medical care for any kind of health problems I may have or get. I have had chest pain and heart issues and circulation issues for a while and have thought I would have had something happen for the last couple years now. I am quite frankly tired of waiting for nature to do something so I have to get it done myself. I have finally started figuring out what I am going to do but I know it is going to be painful and as long as it looks like an accident I am ok with that. Life is full of all types of pain and seeing how society wants to keep taking peaceful ways from people who just want peace I am already used to pain. If it just takes more pain for me to end it I am coming to terms with it.

I agree with everything you say, my biggest issue would be ending up with any kind of mental problems (and conscious) or physical disabilities, or simply surviving and continuing my life like normal. That'd be.. Strange, to say the least

The fear of failure is what terrifies me as well, a suicide attempt failing just sounds so incredibly horrific and it disgusts me how we cannot just leave in peace in a guaranteed way, I wish there was an easy answer to leaving this world, I find it dreadful how people even have to deal with these fears in the first place, it's inhumane.

Yeah, it's horrible how we just can't have an easy, simple way to end our pain if we like, it is our life after all

Sorry for the late replies, been busy lately but I appreciate everything : )

 

[lifeisbutadream]

The fear of failure is what terrifies me as well, a suicide attempt failing just sounds so incredibly horrific and it disgusts me how we cannot just leave in peace in a guaranteed way, I wish there was an easy answer to leaving this world, I find it dreadful how people even have to deal with these fears in the first place, it's inhumane.

Same here, exactly.

 

[CW36]

Well, if you're scared of risk, then best to minimise it. With jumping, I wouldn't attempt anything lower than two hundred feet onto concrete. The success rate of this method is lower than hanging and drowning because people often attempt it too low. With hanging (which is the most popular worldwide method) the only way to guarantee success is to go full suspension. Partial fails 95% of the time according to the studies. You can rescue yourself in partial, with or against your will, but full is a one way ticket if you setup correctly and no special snowflake saves you.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

A lot of things have been said already. Full suspension hanging is fool proof, Once u kick the chair/ladder and you cannot grab anything it's only a question of time and whether you pass out quickly or not.