Help how to get rid of that dreaded feeling

[imsotired005]

I made a proper list of everything I have to get done, including leaving my toxic partner...but after making it and deciding that I genuinely feel like he's dead. Hes not, he still lives with me he's at work I'm still allowing him to use my car. But knowing there will be an end date to me knowing him is putting me into another spiral. I genuinely want to recover from my bpd so bad because it really does not make it easier.

 

[timf]

You have a plan, that is difficult enough for some. It will be difficult to follow through, but you know that this is a difficulty you can get past. Just like Christmas has come and gone, this transition will also be over.

I don't know if you are on medication for bipolar (BPD), but as I understand it the right lithium level can be tricky to pin down.

 

[imsotired005]

You have a plan, that is difficult enough for some. It will be difficult to follow through, but you know that this is a difficulty you can get past. Just like Christmas has come and gone, this transition will also be over.

I don't know if you are on medication for bipolar (BPD), but as I understand it the right lithium level can be tricky to pin down.

ah I actually have borderline personality disorder not bipolar, I've tried medication with no help the last one sent me into mania and got me in the financial spot im in now unfortunately...

 

[timf]

Sorry about that. I recently heard about so many people getting messed up with SSRIs. You would think the people who prescribe these would be more careful or at least warn people. You might want to do some research on nutrition, vitamins, and supplements. So much of our food supply comes from fields whose micro-nutrients have been depleted years ago.

 

[Redacted24]

It took me five years - yes FIVE! - to figure out my partner of 15+ years was my abuser before I decided to request a divorce. Then another year to get my feces consolidated to tell her.

Almost a year later and we're close to an agreement.

It's... words escape me...not in my ability to describe. But that first step was both the difficult and the easiest. I'm just hoping that once I stop being immersed in her toxic sludge every day that I'll start to detox and maybe be worthwhile as a human and not just an oxygen thief.

It's not easy. And I almost impulsively ended the journey in the woods a couple of years ago. But the kind people here that support and empathize is helping ground me.
I hope you can find that for yourself too.