Help How to get over the fear of the pain of ctb?

[Yuki K]

I've attempted ctb quite a lot of time, even if mentally I want to get rid of myself, yet the physical pain of it scares me. I've tried the classic hanging method but I couldn't "hang myself because I kept standing on the chair, without being able to push it off. Tried falling off a 20-floors building and even though I have never in my life been scared of heights, at that particular moment it felt like heights was everything I was ever scared off. And I started crying thinking of how pussy I was being. All these failed ctb attempts make me feel even more pathetic about myself. Being a man and yet acting like a pussy is just so disgusting for me.

 

[Amakishiyo]

It is natural to feel that way about it, there are definitely less painful methods out there for the people that struggle with that.

 

[Yuki K]

It is natural to feel that way about it, there are definitely less painful methods out there for the people that struggle with that.

Read somewhere that Carbon Mono-oxide works as a silent killer. But didn't have access to "real" raw CO so I lit up a bunch of candles thinking it would produce enough CO to kill a man (that's also something I read somewhere) Clearly didn't work, just ruined the plastic small table on which the candles were lit on

 

[Amakishiyo]

I feel like you should definitely do some more research on methods before you try anything like that, lots of information to be found, be sure you know what you are doing before attempting anything.

 

[Shadowlord900]

Now that I have access to benzos, I'm hoping those will do the trick for me. Although depending on how things go for the next couple of weeks (whether I can get Mirtazapine quick enough to help solve my insomnia), I am concerned when I do eventually come round to drinking my drug cocktail that I will have already built up too much tolerance to benzos.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that with the most painful methods, those who succeeded likely reached a point of complete desperation and this allowed them to finally overcome the instinct to survive. But anyway, I think that those who can answer your question the best are no longer here. I believe that it's difficult to go through with a suicide method that involves pain, as pain can potentially cause someone to back out of the attempt, leading to failure.

This is why the hanging method scares me and I'm also terrified of jumping. The reality is that suicide simply isn't straightforward and it's like the survival instinct exists to trap us here in this world and just prolong our suffering. There are just no easy answers to this, I think that those who managed to go through with suicide found a method that they felt confident in and they just knew that it was the right time for them to exit.

 

[Yuki K]

Now that I have access to benzos, I'm hoping those will do the trick for me. Although depending on how things go for the next couple of weeks (whether I can get Mirtazapine quick enough to help solve my insomnia), I am concerned when I do eventually come round to drinking my drug cocktail that I will have already built up too much tolerance to benzos.

Even if you did grow an intolerance to that, still best of luck!

 

[symphony]

The mind is a powerful enemy. I wish I knew the answer. SI is a bitch.

 

[tieiwi]

I am curious too… I think the exit bag method might be a good one. If you just fell asleep with it on (assuming that that works) would be painless.

 

[missingpeace]

When pain and desperation has passed your personal limits.

 

[bustboe]

Being a man and yet acting like a pussy is just so disgusting for me.

fear of death dosn't make you any less of a "man". And even so what defines being a "man" should be up too the individual to decide not what society tells you a man should look like. Be easier on yourself be scared and love pretty pink flowers and all that shit my bro.

 

[Yuki K]

fear of death dosn't make you any less of a "man". And even so what defines being a "man" should be up too the individual to decide not what society tells you a man should look like. Be easier on yourself be scared and love pretty pink flowers and all that shit my bro.

I feel like I'm already being way too easy on myself. Yet I do hit the gym trying to make a difference, studying hard to payback my parents and make them proud, but it feels like anything I do is not good enough. Everyone else is already admitted into damn good and famous colleges and institutions, making six figures of money each day, getting their six pack abs, having bitches drooling over them all the time. I don't think I can ever reach that high of a level if I keep being easy on myself y'know dude

 

[outrider567]

Nitrogen is painless

 

[Yuki K]

Nitrogen is painless

Where do I get nitrogen?

 

[Amakishiyo]

I feel like I'm already being way too easy on myself. Yet I do hit the gym trying to make a difference, studying hard to payback my parents and make them proud, but it feels like anything I do is not good enough. Everyone else is already admitted into damn good and famous colleges and institutions, making six figures of money each day, getting their six pack abs, having bitches drooling over them all the time. I don't think I can ever reach that high of a level if I keep being easy on myself y'know dude

It's still a quite toxic way of thinking and I'm not sure if it will help you to get where you want to be.

 

[outrider567]

Where do I get nitrogen?

order it online--inert gas mega thread has much info on it

 

[assisted]

Please don't insult women or people with vaginas. No one should be forced to commit suicide in the gruesome ways that we are often forced to endure. Everyone deserves a peaceful death. Everyone deserves to die with dignity.

 

[Yuki K]

Please don't insult women or people with vaginas. No one should be forced to commit suicide in the gruesome ways that we are often forced to endure. Everyone deserves a peaceful death. Everyone deserves to die with dignity.

I'm sorry. I wasn't quite in the right state of mind when I wrote this because I was really pissed. I can't even edit it out now. I shall not do so from next time around

 

[Mister Skittles]

Perhaps this is an indication that you don't actually want to die. If theirs anything telliing you not to then don't. It's clearly not a decision you fully want to go threw with.

 

[ThisIsLife]

Read somewhere that Carbon Mono-oxide works as a silent killer. But didn't have access to "real" raw CO so I lit up a bunch of candles thinking it would produce enough CO to kill a man (that's also something I read somewhere) Clearly didn't work, just ruined the plastic small table on which the candles were lit on

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...bon-monoxide-poisoning-suicide-method.106616/

 

[Viranamari]

That is called survival instinct. Its pretty natural to have that and you aren't a coward for having that. People who did do painful methods were desperate to CTB and had a lesser chance of failing. Most of them aren't here with us anymore so you can't get any good suggestions.
Also, CTB is rather hard to achieve which is why we have so many threads here. Because simply anyone can jump from a great height or hang themselves, right? No because that's where the SI comes in. Of course if you want to CTB, I cant stop you but you need to be 100% sure you want to or else the SI will overcome you. There are many methods so that's a good thing. In a nutshell, SI is a pain and it takes a lot if desperation to overcome it but there are many methods which have comparatively less SI so you should check those out. Hope this helps.

 

[Yuki K]

Perhaps this is an indication that you don't actually want to die. If theirs anything telliing you not to then don't. It's clearly not a decision you fully want to go threw with.

I have thought about that before but then again I still continue to try to ctb