How to get back into education as a NEET?

[c4bomba]

My life is boring, dull and worthless. I have no purpose and I'm an utter burden to my family.


I wanted to combat this this by going back to education but the thing is I've always been terrified of people. Especially now that I've been socially isolated for 7 years now. I can't think properly or do anything properly. I have severe brain fog and it really it makes it really hard to study. What can i do? I cant do anything alone. Because i lack the discipline to do so. I have never stuck with anything other than consistently using my phone for over a decade straight with no breaks in between. I have crippling phone addiction too. No one's gonna help me i already know because i kept screwing my chances

Earlier this year when it was begining i was supposed to sign up for these classes essentially but they warned me about the subject and that there is a higher rate of people who fail this classes and won't be able to get a good degree with it and hearing that i completely chickened out. I gave up. Eben though it was so close i still gave up. I'm so mad at myself. It's not just one but I've screwed up many other chances to getting on path to education. Why do i do this? I really hate myself for it. I am in dire needof help but i know no one's comming to save me and i know i can't do it alone because I'm useless. It has been eating me up since the day i stopped going to school. I'm so irresponsible it's almost funny. How do i stop this?

 

[derpyderpins]

First off I'm sorry this is so stressful for you.

The fact that you are agonizing over not wanting to be a burden puts you ahead of a lot of people, and things like phone addiction and executive dysfunction are more common issues than you might think. Please don't be so hard on yourself.

I'm not sure I have enough information to start strategizing recovery with you (are you currently enrolled?) But I'll say this: whatever the plan is it starts with baby steps one day at a time, and probably with setbacks.

Phone addiction and the brain fog go hand in hand, right? But - and tell me if this is not accurate to you, I've just experienced similar - there's this brutal cycle, right?

=> I need to put down my phone and be productive
=> Just thinking about that . . . I'm never productive, I always fail, I always give up, I'm too lazy, etc etc
=> shit now I feel so anxious, I need to relax a bit before I do anything
=> Let me just scroll on my phone to calm down. . . shit.

You may want a successful day to be learning a new subject or re-enrolling or advancing long term goals, but seriously wouldn't it be a big W to just leave the phone and go hang out somewhere else for a couple hours? Even if you run right back to it, is that a better day than your average? Then I'd say try that and give yourself credit if you succeed. Go in with the mindset that even if you do literally nothing else productive that day, simply spending time not looking at a screen is you getting a win.

 

[c4bomba]

First off I'm sorry this is so stressful for you.

The fact that you are agonizing over not wanting to be a burden puts you ahead of a lot of people, and things like phone addiction and executive dysfunction are more common issues than you might think. Please don't be so hard on yourself.

I'm not sure I have enough information to start strategizing recovery with you (are you currently enrolled?) But I'll say this: whatever the plan is it starts with baby steps one day at a time, and probably with setbacks.

Phone addiction and the brain fog go hand in hand, right? But - and tell me if this is not accurate to you, I've just experienced similar - there's this brutal cycle, right?

=> I need to put down my phone and be productive
=> Just thinking about that . . . I'm never productive, I always fail, I always give up, I'm too lazy, etc etc
=> shit now I feel so anxious, I need to relax a bit before I do anything
=> Let me just scroll on my phone to calm down. . . shit.

You may want a successful day to be learning a new subject or re-enrolling or advancing long term goals, but seriously wouldn't it be a big W to just leave the phone and go hang out somewhere else for a couple hours? Even if you run right back to it, is that a better day than your average? Then I'd say try that and give yourself credit if you succeed. Go in with the mindset that even if you do literally nothing else productive that day, simply spending time not looking at a screen is you getting a win.

I'll try it, it seems like a good advice. Although i do stay at home all day with not much to do so I always resort back to my device

 

[violetforever]

i think i was meant to see this post because u sound exactly like me before i went back to school :o can u try to do some classes online first? thats what i did and now im finally attending a class on campus and doing an internship through my school. i think it helped me ease back into being a student. i was socially isolated since i was about 15 bc of switching to home school for family/mental health issues. now im 24 so thats about a decade…it feels bad to admit. i started becoming less scared to be around people in around 2022/23 though. my memory is really bad and i dont think properly either lol. i deleted all my social media and it helped me. thats bc i was truly tired of being on it. it wont be as easy if u dont feel that way.

 

[c4bomba]

i think i was meant to see this post because u sound exactly like me before i went back to school :o can u try to do some classes online first? thats what i did and now im finally attending a class on campus and doing an internship through my school. i think it helped me ease back into being a student. i was socially isolated since i was about 15 bc of switching to home school for family/mental health issues. now im 24 so thats about a decade…it feels bad to admit. i started becoming less scared to be around people in around 2022/23 though. my memory is really bad and i dont think properly either lol. i deleted all my social media and it helped me. thats bc i was truly tired of being on it. it wont be as easy if u dont feel that way.

I was around the same age when i became completely socially isolated, an almost NEET basically. I have no idea how to apply for online classes but I'll look it up. Thank you for the suggestion and it's nice that you were able to recover

 

[_wishforwings]

i think i was meant to see this post because u sound exactly like me before i went back to school :o can u try to do some classes online first? thats what i did and now im finally attending a class on campus and doing an internship through my school. i think it helped me ease back into being a student. i was socially isolated since i was about 15 bc of switching to home school for family/mental health issues. now im 24 so thats about a decade…it feels bad to admit. i started becoming less scared to be around people in around 2022/23 though. my memory is really bad and i dont think properly either lol. i deleted all my social media and it helped me. thats bc i was truly tired of being on it. it wont be as easy if u dont feel that way

I agree taking classes online first is definitely less overwhelming. And maybe just start with 1 or two classes at first?

 

[Bitch With An Apple]

My advice as someone who got an associate degree and is now failing 4-year college is to take baby steps and to recognize that there is no shame in it. I would recommend online classes and an underload. If you can, look up your professors on ratemyprofessor and take professors who are lenient with deadlines, easy graders, etc. Don't do this forever- eventually you'll have to get acclimated to more demanding and sometimes unfair professors, especially as you get higher up and course selections narrow. But it's a good place to start.

Don't put off applying for financial aid. If you're in the states and you're over 24, you're no longer considered dependent on your parents and the amount of financial aid you can get as someone who's unemployed is monstrously high (although school should be free or nearly free to begin with, imo. you're basically paying to be tortured in the hopes it forges you into someone who's disciplined enough to be employable in a skilled domain).

Do not feel tempted to exceed your capabilities. There's a lot of pep talk about potential, fulfilling dreams, etc. before the hard reality of actually taking your classes hits and it can be enticing. As a NEET, if you're anything like me, the time, attention, and willpower that school demands of you will be foreign to you and you have to give yourself space to adjust. I went from a pretty easy 2 year program to an intense and "prestigious" 4 year program because I got cocky and it was an absolutely terrible decision- I overestimated my own capabilities and had I picked a program that's within my tolerance levels, I probably would have done just fine.

The fact that you are agonizing over not wanting to be a burden puts you ahead of a lot of people, and things like phone addiction and executive dysfunction are more common issues than you might think. Please don't be so hard on yourself.

This is so true, too. When you struggle with executive dysfunction and especially if you're socially isolated, it's so easy to think everyone else is perfect and breezing by, and you're somehow defective. College is designed to be an adaptational process for everyone. I think people who can whizz their way through college are rarer than the opposite, if anything.

I've realized in my own reflections that there's so much entanglement between school and shame, self-esteem, guilt, etc. I'm too anxious to even set foot on campus many days (and I've fucked myself because of it). Don't fall for it. It's practically an illusion; you're ultimately a statistic and the institution itself doesn't feel a thing about you. It is perfectly acceptable for you to be who you are as long as you're making progress. Teachers, etc. might tell you otherwise, either explicitly or implicitly. I think that comes from a defunct motivational system that's ingrained in these institutions. It may work for some, but on the whole, I think it's fairly destructive. There will be pressure to progress at a certain pace. Do your best to control that pace for yourself. Idk about you but time flies by for me and an extra two years or so probably doesn't mean as much as they want you to think it does (but if you're on financial aid, do be careful about maintaining satisfactory academic progress. there are time limits on that).

 

[NameOfAction]

Online programs helped me fill in glaring gaps in my education. I managed to go from 'no formal education' to 'high school diploma' to 'enrolled in uni on a scholarship' in abt a year.
Now failing tho, but hey, it's still kinda a progress. Probably will have to finish uni online too

 

[Nerned]

It's so hard. I want to get a GED but I know any physical university will look down on me. People are so blatanly snobbish. Some people recommended taking an SAT or a standardized test or a few certificates. I'm just planning to give up and go into the trades at this point, apparently they have better prospects.

 

[Zhendou]

It's so hard. I want to get a GED but I know any physical university will look down on me. People are so blatanly snobbish. Some people recommended taking an SAT or a standardized test or a few certificates. I'm just planning to give up and go into the trades at this point, apparently they have better prospects.

Most trade schools require a GED or a highschool diploma. However, there are some specialized, union, or local trade schools that do not require diplomas but focuses on skills, hands on experience, assessments, and aptitude. The trade schools can use a Ability to Benefit (ATB) test instead of requiring a diploma. This depends where you are too because this is for the USA. If you are not in the USA, do not fret. You can research for trade schools that don't require diplomas and their other requirements in your country.

Also, having a GED is not a bad idea because they make more money than those without any education despite being less than a highschool diploma or a degree. It may be a bit less, but still more than without it and little by little it adds up. Finally, there are some people who are snobbish, but there are also other types of people who are kinder. You might have only ever experienced negative people in universities, but there are always positive people out there too. There is always a good if there is a bad. Like a ying yang. There is no good without bad and no bad without good. We can enjoy and appreciate the good because there is bad.

Do not let other people bring you down. You cannot control them, but you can control you.