I know I'll have to do it. Life has become unbearable for a while but it's like I don't even have the energy to execute a plan. SN seemed doable and didn't require too much effort, it seems at least, only great courage, but now the sources are gone, I don't know what to do. I'm tired of suffering and I know there will be no end to this agony and pain.
CTB Dream
Injury damage disabl hard talk no argu make fun et
- Sep 17, 2022
- 2,613
Yea vry sry know how no posbl mthd no posbl do any ,ltl funct injury damage v hard di plan etc, vry sry endle pain sffr
Livingvsdying25
Enlightened
- Dec 8, 2019
- 1,188
Excuse my struggle with the reaction button
Usually when I've felt like I can't function enough to CTB I jus kinda take it as a sigh of needing to rest so that I can execute properly. Which is kinda where im at right now. Im functioning ok physically (for once
) but mentally not doin too well so I'm just taking it as easy as I can and waiting until the mental part is a bit better to start planning.
It really fucking sucks though and seems like a very cruel joke to not even be able to CTB at times like that. That one even needs a level of functioning to CTB. It makes me extra angry at people that make it seem like its easy to CTB. There's so much to consider.
Im sorry you are at this place of wanting to CTB but also struggling so much with functioning. I wish you ease in whichever route you choose
Usually when I've felt like I can't function enough to CTB I jus kinda take it as a sigh of needing to rest so that I can execute properly. Which is kinda where im at right now. Im functioning ok physically (for once
) but mentally not doin too well so I'm just taking it as easy as I can and waiting until the mental part is a bit better to start planning. It really fucking sucks though and seems like a very cruel joke to not even be able to CTB at times like that. That one even needs a level of functioning to CTB. It makes me extra angry at people that make it seem like its easy to CTB. There's so much to consider.
Im sorry you are at this place of wanting to CTB but also struggling so much with functioning. I wish you ease in whichever route you choose
@whatevertryinmeans23, thank you for your kind response. You understand exactly what I meant. This is good advice: resting and regain some energy until I can function more,and yes it's ironic that even ctb demands a lot of drive and willpower, which is exactly what many of us have lost. I appreciate your reply and I wish you the best.Excuse my struggle with the reaction button
Usually when I've felt like I can't function enough to CTB I jus kinda take it as a sigh of needing to rest so that I can execute properly. Which is kinda where im at right now. Im functioning ok physically (for once
It really fucking sucks though and seems like a very cruel joke to not even be able to CTB at times like that. That one even needs a level of functioning to CTB. It makes me extra angry at people that make it seem like its easy to CTB. There's so much to consider.
Im sorry you are at this place of wanting to CTB but also struggling so much with functioning. I wish you ease in whichever route you choose
TydalWave
Brutally Self-Aware
- Sep 20, 2022
- 436
Your thought process shows that you are already taking the right approach.
Even if you could find the "strength", you are so much more prone to failing if you are not in the right headspace. I also believe we deserve to leave in comfort with our decision. I'd recommend in these moments, taking steps to atleast prepare a safe exit. Small steps every day that give you reassurance you atleast have a way out and that you are not trapped in your situation. By the time I had my whole plan ready, I felt a lot better about existing in this feeling.
Even if you could find the "strength", you are so much more prone to failing if you are not in the right headspace. I also believe we deserve to leave in comfort with our decision. I'd recommend in these moments, taking steps to atleast prepare a safe exit. Small steps every day that give you reassurance you atleast have a way out and that you are not trapped in your situation. By the time I had my whole plan ready, I felt a lot better about existing in this feeling.
Thank you @TydalWave. I didn't even think it that way but it's so true. We have to feel clear and confident with our decision and be completely ready so our chances to fail are lessened. Thank you for the good advice. Good luck to you too, friend.
I'm so sorry @mondoCruel. That really sucks to feel that way, crippled to the point we can't do even the bare minimum. Please read the replies I got. That's valuable and encouraging advice. Hope it helps a bit. Hugs to you.
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I'm sorry that you have to go through this. It's so incredibly difficult to leave this world and there is no real help out there for people who desperately are seaching for a quick and painless method to end their agony and suffering. Try to rest a bit, spend time with us here and I hope you can regain energy and strength again! Best wishes!
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FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 38,888
Suicide really is so unnecessarily difficult and complicated in this world, I envy those who have left and I despise how we cannot just easily exit in a reliable and peaceful way, it's so horrible how this society is so anti-suicide. But anyway I can imagine that so many of the people who have succeeded just got so determined to leave, I admire the courage that they had to free themselves from all the suffering.
I can really relate to this. I have no energy/motivation and struggle to function daily. My to do list before I ctb is long to help take some of the burden off my family but even getting out of bed most days are a chore if i can even manage, @TydalWave thank you for sharing that suggestion of taking little steps. I will keep that in mind too.
Same. With 0% energy how are we supposed to ctb. Its hard enough as it is let alone having zero energy.
SunnyDay_NoSunshine
Member
- Jun 11, 2023
- 36
I have to go back ~2years to relate to this. I had no energy to even get up in the morning. That was the beginning of feeling doomed. And after about 3 months of struggle the idea to ctb formed. Over the next 3 moths I had realized that ctb is one tough shit. Tried rope and SI kicked my ass royally. As surreal as it may sound, that kicked my ass to get better and have enough energy to plan better. Over the next ~4months I was almost back to my physical self. Also learnt that no one can really help over this time. So just needed to keep going and get better towards both my goals. Make my life better or a have a better plan to leave.
I guess what I am trying to say to you (and to myself 2 years ago) is you need to find the strength and energy from where you are. I know it is easily said than done, but regardless of which path to proceed with, you still need to find the energy to get up. Sincere apologies if I came across as preachy.
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