How to find the courage to ctb

[Inevitable]

I'm just so exhausted and ready

 

[TiredHorse]

I hear you. Me too. And if I had an answer, I would surely tell you.

 

[throwaway777]

same .. i m just procrastinating the inevitable

 

[Final Escape]

I think its harder if u are young, because even if you're absolutely miserable u have that energy still to give you doubt as to wether you should do it or not. Even though I was suffering very bad in my youth at that time I could still pull myself up and keep going. I also didn't have all this info on how to succeed at suicide. As I got older I have less drive, less optimism, more aware of the flawed system we live in. I have a more realistic view of my options and opportunities, and this makes it more certain for me that I'm making a correct decision even if nobody else who knows me likes it.

 

[sini]

Final Escape. You sound like me.

 

[Final Escape]

I'm 19. My parents first notice my mental problems and took me to doctors when i was 2. Ive been in and out of seeing docs, therapist ect. I have aspergers, severe anxiety and depression. Been emotionally abused as a child by teachers, peers. Attempted once before. I have no highschool diploma, never had a job, and can no longer leave my house because my anxiety is do bad. I barely have enough energy to shower of feed myself

I'm sorry omg :(" in this case I think u were beaten down pretty bad starting so early. I can't believe that your parents were so evil that they assumed u have mental health problems at just 2. What kind of phsycos do this to babies? I do believe u it can be that bad in our society now. Where literally nobody cares what is happening to u and u fall through the cracks. I'm sorry u have been abused so badly.

 

[Inevitable]

I'm sorry omg :(" in this case I think u were beaten down pretty bad starting so early. I can't believe that your parents were so evil that they assumed u have mental health problems at just 2. What kind phsycos do this to babies? I do believe u it can that bad in our society now. Where literally nobody cares what is happening to u and u fall through the cracks. I'm sorry u have been abused so badly.

I mean ik I must of been a handful. Two year olds are already little hellion who throw temper tantrums and I was way beyond that. But my parents tried at least

 

[Final Escape]

I mean ik I must of been a handful. Two year olds are already little hellion who throw temper tantrums and I was way beyond that. But my parents tried at least

There's no way u could have been that bad unless they were just terrible parents who have no clue how to parent. It's possible you could have been a handful but most 2 yr olds are.

 

[Final Escape]

Idk I've got alot of the documents and doctors notes. But aspergers is an autism spectrum disorder. I know they were expecting a healthy child like their two previous ones so id come as a shock

Oh ok yes this would complicate things but doesn't give anybody the right to abuse u :(

 

[Philip]

I think when the time is right you make up your mind and then just do it

 

[Final Escape]

I think when the time is right you make up your mind and then just do it

Yes, or u flip flop so much back and forth that eventually you realize that this is not something u can fix and decide that it's your only option and the terror doesn't outweigh the perceived benefit.

 

[VincentValentine]

I think its harder if u are young, because even if you're absolutely miserable u have that energy still to give you doubt as to wether you should do it or not. Even though I was suffering very bad in my youth at that time I could still pull myself up and keep going. I also didn't have all this info on how to succeed at suicide. As I got older I have less drive, less optimism, more aware of the flawed system we live in. I have a more realistic view of my options and opportunities, and this makes it more certain for me that I'm making a correct decision even if nobody else who knows me likes it.

This articulated why I didn't ctb when I was younger too, although I should've.

 

[TAW122]

I'd say overriding the survival instinct. My mind has decided that I will do it at some point, but another part of my mind as well as my stubborn body rebels against it and always have this sliver of hope that something could get better (even as unlikely as that seems). I suppose the way to really get to that breaking point would be when multiple things goes down (either simultaneously or in quick succession -- like a series of shitty life changes one after another), then it would override the survival instinct. I myself struggle with this even today, but I just know that if there is an event bad enough, it may well be enough to just push me over and give me all the courage I need (maybe more) to seriously just follow through it.

 

[Schopenhauer]

I think its harder if u are young, because even if you're absolutely miserable u have that energy still to give you doubt as to wether you should do it or not. Even though I was suffering very bad in my youth at that time I could still pull myself up and keep going. I also didn't have all this info on how to succeed at suicide. As I got older I have less drive, less optimism, more aware of the flawed system we live in. I have a more realistic view of my options and opportunities, and this makes it more certain for me that I'm making a correct decision even if nobody else who knows me likes it.

I agree. When I was younger, I tried to ctb once and failed. Then I decided to give life a chance, see if my outlook improved. Bad mistake, life sucks.