Discussion How to deal with serious rumor/accusations?

[losingsteam3141]

I am currently in grad school and there have been rumors around me that paint me as a terrible person, initially spread by someone outside of my program. I don't know exactly what they said, but it feels like everyone takes these accusations as fact. I get stared at with smug grins and some classmates who I don't even know are rude, disrespectful and taunting. The infuriating part is not one person has tried to approach me about this, thus, I have no way of addressing anything because other students have only hinted at them to me. Its very difficult to take time off and I have to endure this for a few more years. This situation is killing my mental health and making it so difficult to study. It hurts knowing how people see me even though I didn't do anything to warrant this.

 

[Davey40210]

I dont know, but my advice would first be to ask the people you think are thinking that. Just take them aside and tell them someone seems to have been spreading rumors about you and ask if they also heard. Most will probably not tell you but you could probably already get more information from their reaction.

It is possible that you are not correct on some of them - the mind can play tricks sometimes.

If it all turns out to be true, I would confront the person spreading the rumors with a lot of people around and shout at them telling them you found out that they spread rumors and that they are a horrible person.

Lastly perhaps try to figure out anything bad about them and start talking to others about it.

I cant say I followed this advice in my childhood - I was too scared and too abused by my parents to think I was supposed to stand up for myself. But right now I feel like I would do that.

 

[losingsteam3141]

I dont know, but my advice would first be to ask the people you think are thinking that. Just take them aside and tell them someone seems to have been spreading rumors about you and ask if they also heard. Most will probably not tell you but you could probably already get more information from their reaction.

It is possible that you are not correct on some of them - the mind can play tricks sometimes.

If it all turns out to be true, I would confront the person spreading the rumors with a lot of people around and shout at them telling them you found out that they spread rumors and that they are a horrible person.

Lastly perhaps try to figure out anything bad about them and start talking to others about it.

I cant say I followed this advice in my childhood - I was too scared and too abused by my parents to think I was supposed to stand up for myself. But right now I feel like I would do that.

I dont want to make the situation worse and give people more of a reason to hate me. I know administration was notified about me. They havent contacted me but I think I am definitely on their radar. All it takes is someone at my school to make something up and my life is over since I lost the benefit of the doubt with these rumors.

 

[Davey40210]

I dont want to make the situation worse and give people more of a reason to hate me. I know administration was notified about me. They havent contacted me but I think I am definitely on their radar. All it takes is someone at my school to make something up and my life is over since I lost the benefit of the doubt with these rumors.

Ok, I see. Seems like a bad situation.. hope you will be ok and get through it

 

[enduringwinter]

I don't know what your story is but there's no other way than tough it out. When I was in primary school the kids cooked up and spreaded a rumour that I killed someone's younger sibling and the adults just laughed when I told them.