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sufferingsensless

Member
Oct 20, 2023
9
How do I deal with the fact that I want to leave this world because of the pain and suffering I'm experiencing, but if I leave my mom and dad and other people that might care will be sad and possibly suffer even more.

Suicide is like a virus spreading suffering I feel…

Is this hell ?

How to deal with this ?
 
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R_N

R_N

-Memento Mori-
Dec 3, 2019
1,442
Unfortunately you can't stop such suffering. It happens when people die naturally as well.

But you shouldn't torture yourself for the sake of others if you don't want to or see the point. Life will be full of needless suffering regardless what you do anyway. It can't be stopped, we are born to experience pain among other things.

It can't be avoided.
 
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bridgegirl

bridgegirl

life on the edge, I guess
Oct 16, 2023
135
I just can't stay here because other people think I should. I'd have to want that for myself, and I don't - their desires don't change that. If they could live my life for me and take on this suffering, then maybe. But they can't. No one can. So it's unfortunate and I don't like it, but I just can't live on this earth because someone else thinks I should.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,363
It's always up to the individual deciding what to do, nobody is obligated to continue suffering in this existence, we only exist in the first place because other people were selfish enough to cruelly procreate. Death and loss is an inevitable consequence of procreation, I bet that eventually most of us won't even exist in the memories of those who continue to stay here.
 
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Saxenomorph

Saxenomorph

Life's not fair, is it?
Mar 2, 2023
80
I feel cursed by this thought as well. I'm really ready to ctb but i also know that my parents will suffer, maybe even go mad with it. I know this sounds trashy but i started to act distant and aggresive to lighten my bond between them, i will also leave very few clues behind to prevent them from learning why i did it. I'm going to record a video and i'll act happy while i explain the situation to let them know that it wasn't their fault. I still don't know how to pay them back for raising me so well though.
 
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suicidalgirl96

suicidalgirl96

Member
Oct 10, 2023
26
I've gone on this long for them and I can't any longer. I've tried over 15 years so I hope they understand that I really did try for them. I hope they know there's nothing they could've done to stop it and that when I'm gone I won't be suffering anymore.
 
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sufferingsensless

Member
Oct 20, 2023
9
Thanks for all the interaction, I get that life is suffering and that it's mostly just working and struggling.

But I just think isn't it selfish of me to choose to put this burden on other people ?

Like I'd rather suffer myself and get by than to end myself and having that suffering being passed on, because I feel like the suffering multiplies and by me sucking on a gun I kind of feel like I might be making it easy for myself and harder for people around me.
 
movinout17

movinout17

Student
Feb 2, 2023
113
Thanks for all the interaction, I get that life is suffering and that it's mostly just working and struggling.

But I just think isn't it selfish of me to choose to put this burden on other people ?

Like I'd rather suffer myself and get by than to end myself and having that suffering being passed on, because I feel like the suffering multiplies and by me sucking on a gun I kind of feel like I might be making it easy for myself and harder for people around me.
I also think it's selfish. At the same time, I think that adults should have the right over their own life and body, what it means to be prochoice. I remember when I was very young, before I was suicidal, I wondered to myself why people can't just choose suicide if it's their own lives.

In the end, you can't control other's people's emotions and how they react to your death. I have gone for years struggling being suicidal, and kept my head up for goodness sake. I started to realize that I can't keep being suicidal for a few months every year and depend on everyone around me every time. I think that everyone will live on, and they will suffer more because of my choice to ctb, but they'll continue to live. They'll want to.

It sounds cold to say this, but personally, it's where I'm at. My close ones don't suffer as much as I do, so I'm sure that they would live on.

Your messages sound like you're coming from a different place than me. Person to person, I think that it can be worth it to stick around longer for others. The world can be a better place if you hang on. Or, it might be worse, or indifferent.
 
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sufferingsensless

Member
Oct 20, 2023
9
Yeah valid points I think most people would actually not be that affected and move on in their lives but my mom for example she might also ctb if I would do it. Otherwise mz gf I have been having troubles in our relationship so I think if we broke up she'd be sad but she wouldn't know I ctb, unfortunately she said she would ctb if I broke up with her
I also think it's selfish. At the same time, I think that adults should have the right over their own life and body, what it means to be prochoice. I remember when I was very young, before I was suicidal, I wondered to myself why people can't just choose suicide if it's their own lives.

In the end, you can't control other's people's emotions and how they react to your death. I have gone for years struggling being suicidal, and kept my head up for goodness sake. I started to realize that I can't keep being suicidal for a few months every year and depend on everyone around me every time. I think that everyone will live on, and they will suffer more because of my choice to ctb, but they'll continue to live. They'll want to.

It sounds cold to say this, but personally, it's where I'm at. My close ones don't suffer as much as I do, so I'm sure that they would live on.

Your messages sound like you're coming from a different place than me. Person to person, I think that it can be worth it to stick around longer for others. The world can be a better place if you hang on. Or, it might be worse, or indifferent.
 

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