tymiaomioa
š
- Apr 7, 2026
- 10
So here's my question: once you get past the mental barrier, how do you actually get past what your body does?
Honestly, I think I'm already past the mental part. I don't need to spill my trauma to someone, I don't need a ton of encouragement or to just complain onlineāI actually went and tried to do it. I've attempted charcoal and also hanging, but I could never fully commit. I found a really solid beam, tied the rope, made sure it was foolproof for FSH, and I hung there for three hours messing with the knots, fighting with myself the whole time. Standing on a chair, telling myself it'd be quick, just kick the stool and it's over, but my hands were gripping that beam and my feet just couldn't take that step. Even when I tried standing on the armrest of the sofa and slowly lowering myself down, the second the rope tightened I'd hold on for two seconds and then pop right back. I just can't seem to make that final move. The fear of my feet leaving the ground beats everything else.
I wanna know how people who push through that fear actually do it. I've watched hanging videos and had zero idea that this step would be the hardest part. I honestly thought I could walk into FSH calmly, but my body just won't accept it. It's so discouragingālike dying has become the only fuel for living.
I don't know what's missing. Is it because I'm doing this alone? Is my body just more sensitive to death? Would partial suspension practice help that fear fade? Or maybe I shouldn't rush it and expect it to work after just a couple tries?
My brain knows exactly what comes next, so it's already sealed off every rational path. No matter how many ways I break down that single step or swap it out for a different oneāfear has overruled everything. It's incredibly fucking frustrating
Honestly, I think I'm already past the mental part. I don't need to spill my trauma to someone, I don't need a ton of encouragement or to just complain onlineāI actually went and tried to do it. I've attempted charcoal and also hanging, but I could never fully commit. I found a really solid beam, tied the rope, made sure it was foolproof for FSH, and I hung there for three hours messing with the knots, fighting with myself the whole time. Standing on a chair, telling myself it'd be quick, just kick the stool and it's over, but my hands were gripping that beam and my feet just couldn't take that step. Even when I tried standing on the armrest of the sofa and slowly lowering myself down, the second the rope tightened I'd hold on for two seconds and then pop right back. I just can't seem to make that final move. The fear of my feet leaving the ground beats everything else.
I wanna know how people who push through that fear actually do it. I've watched hanging videos and had zero idea that this step would be the hardest part. I honestly thought I could walk into FSH calmly, but my body just won't accept it. It's so discouragingālike dying has become the only fuel for living.
I don't know what's missing. Is it because I'm doing this alone? Is my body just more sensitive to death? Would partial suspension practice help that fear fade? Or maybe I shouldn't rush it and expect it to work after just a couple tries?
My brain knows exactly what comes next, so it's already sealed off every rational path. No matter how many ways I break down that single step or swap it out for a different oneāfear has overruled everything. It's incredibly fucking frustrating
