How to Cross the Body's Final Line

[tymiaomioa]

So here's my question: once you get past the mental barrier, how do you actually get past what your body does?

Honestly, I think I'm already past the mental part. I don't need to spill my trauma to someone, I don't need a ton of encouragement or to just complain online—I actually went and tried to do it. I've attempted charcoal and also hanging, but I could never fully commit. I found a really solid beam, tied the rope, made sure it was foolproof for FSH, and I hung there for three hours messing with the knots, fighting with myself the whole time. Standing on a chair, telling myself it'd be quick, just kick the stool and it's over, but my hands were gripping that beam and my feet just couldn't take that step. Even when I tried standing on the armrest of the sofa and slowly lowering myself down, the second the rope tightened I'd hold on for two seconds and then pop right back. I just can't seem to make that final move. The fear of my feet leaving the ground beats everything else.

I wanna know how people who push through that fear actually do it. I've watched hanging videos and had zero idea that this step would be the hardest part. I honestly thought I could walk into FSH calmly, but my body just won't accept it. It's so discouraging—like dying has become the only fuel for living.

I don't know what's missing. Is it because I'm doing this alone? Is my body just more sensitive to death? Would partial suspension practice help that fear fade? Or maybe I shouldn't rush it and expect it to work after just a couple tries?

My brain knows exactly what comes next, so it's already sealed off every rational path. No matter how many ways I break down that single step or swap it out for a different one—fear has overruled everything. It's incredibly fucking frustrating

 

[Unworthyhuman]

I think each person is different. People that pushed through aren't here to tell us about it. The reason I haven't did the partial is because I know it's going to be a battle of the mind. For me, I feel like if I was hanging from more than my basement beam, i'd be able to do it. Gotta have enough room to hang where you can't reach up and cant touch the bottom, partial you just gotta keep pushing through the mind and pain and I'm not ready for that battle yet, not even sure if i'm willing to battle that. My only thought is if I ever reach the point where i'm ready for that battle I'm gonna be drunk as a skunk.

 

[tymiaomioa]

I think each person is different. People that pushed through aren't here to tell us about it. The reason I haven't did the partial is because I know it's going to be a battle of the mind. For me, I feel like if I was hanging from more than my basement beam, i'd be able to do it. Gotta have enough room to hang where you can't reach up and cant touch the bottom, partial you just gotta keep pushing through the mind and pain and I'm not ready for that battle yet, not even sure if i'm willing to battle that. My only thought is if I ever reach the point where i'm ready for that battle I'm gonna be drunk as a skunk.

Here's how I see it: the only way I can make hanging work for me is to treat the suspension training like BDSM practice. Just keep doing desensitization drills over and over, until my brain stops equating 'rope around the neck' with 'death fear.' Find that sweet spot where the pressure actually feels okay, then actually pass out from it — let my brain learn that it's acceptable, and flip the original wiring. Otherwise… I honestly think no matter how much you drink, that primal fear isn't going anywhere. (Obviously this depends on the person though.)\

 

[Unworthyhuman]

I just think of all the people that don't practice it. The young kids that impulsively do it....makes me think we overthink it at times, because if you are determined, you can overcome anything.

 

[NiicheKey]

So here's my question: once you get past the mental barrier, how do you actually get past what your body does?

Honestly, I think I'm already past the mental part. I don't need to spill my trauma to someone, I don't need a ton of encouragement or to just complain online—I actually went and tried to do it. I've attempted charcoal and also hanging, but I could never fully commit. I found a really solid beam, tied the rope, made sure it was foolproof for FSH, and I hung there for three hours messing with the knots, fighting with myself the whole time. Standing on a chair, telling myself it'd be quick, just kick the stool and it's over, but my hands were gripping that beam and my feet just couldn't take that step. Even when I tried standing on the armrest of the sofa and slowly lowering myself down, the second the rope tightened I'd hold on for two seconds and then pop right back. I just can't seem to make that final move. The fear of my feet leaving the ground beats everything else.

I wanna know how people who push through that fear actually do it. I've watched hanging videos and had zero idea that this step would be the hardest part. I honestly thought I could walk into FSH calmly, but my body just won't accept it. It's so discouraging—like dying has become the only fuel for living.

I don't know what's missing. Is it because I'm doing this alone? Is my body just more sensitive to death? Would partial suspension practice help that fear fade? Or maybe I shouldn't rush it and expect it to work after just a couple tries?

My brain knows exactly what comes next, so it's already sealed off every rational path. No matter how many ways I break down that single step or swap it out for a different one—fear has overruled everything. It's incredibly fucking frustrating

Seeing this after 6th failed FSH attempt this year, I'm having the exact same mindset and problem. I can't accept that this body truly is a prison.

Even with practicing various techniques of stepping off, even with knowing where the rope will do its work, when the time comes and I feel the grip on the neck is right, my body doesn't listen to me and won't step off. And even if I make it fall, even when I tie the other end, so the rope doesn't slip, I still somehow am alive - either stepping back (I DON'T WANT TO, the BODY does that without my permission) or lowering so hard I'm doing weird partial thing. Starting to think I will never succeed :(

 

[tymiaomioa]

Seeing this after 6th failed FSH attempt this year, I'm having the exact same mindset and problem. I can't accept that this body truly is a prison.

Even with practicing various techniques of stepping off, even with knowing where the rope will do its work, when the time comes and I feel the grip on the neck is right, my body doesn't listen to me and won't step off. And even if I make it fall, even when I tie the other end, so the rope doesn't slip, I still somehow am alive - either stepping back (I DON'T WANT TO, the BODY does that without my permission) or lowering so hard I'm doing weird partial thing. Starting to think I will never succeed :(

Yeah, it's so true. When my brain clearly knows I'm about to do something dangerous, my body literally just freezes. No matter how determined I am, I just can't fight that instinct. Then my brain keeps pumping out dopamine to comfort me, making me feel like there's still a way out... it's honestly just so sad.

Seeing this after 6th failed FSH attempt this year, I'm having the exact same mindset and problem. I can't accept that this body truly is a prison.

Even with practicing various techniques of stepping off, even with knowing where the rope will do its work, when the time comes and I feel the grip on the neck is right, my body doesn't listen to me and won't step off. And even if I make it fall, even when I tie the other end, so the rope doesn't slip, I still somehow am alive - either stepping back (I DON'T WANT TO, the BODY does that without my permission) or lowering so hard I'm doing weird partial thing. Starting to think I will never succeed :(

I don't know if you've ever passed out before, but if you did and woke up realizing you weren't in any danger, would you still be scared? I mean during practice.

 

[NiicheKey]

I don't know if you've ever passed out before, but if you did and woke up realizing you weren't in any danger, would you still be scared? I mean during practice.

I think I was on thin line to slip into "lethal unconsciousness", felt my limbs being wimp. At that moment, even though I still felt the physical pain, mentally I had the most peaceful moment ever. But I guess my body did some move to pull the doorknob, so line fell with me. Knowing that, I am not scared of dying at all, but the body probably is, and that's the problem - it knows that few moments of discomfort guarantees what we want, but built-in survival instinct prevents it