How to cope with waiting

[lili]

Hi everyone,

I've gotten the SN stuff but it's not going to arrive till the end of March. It's just been very painful to wait and know it takes so long to get here. I really don't know what to do with myself.

I'm tired of having to pretend with anyone and just doing all the things one is expected to do in life. I'm tired of feeling super lonely and just having constantly empty days.

And now knowing that I have to wait this long for this, it's a lot. I've tried so many times before to end things via pills. I also tried the exit bag method in the past from a book about euthanasia but I miserably failed because I didn't realize helium tanks nowadays for balloon parties are basically suicide proof. I guess my biggest problem is that I don't like the idea of dying in a painful way or a manner that would be horrific for others to witness. Such as falling or I guess hanging.

Who else is in a waiting period and how do you handle these moments? What do you do with yourself?

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Hi everyone,

I've gotten the SN stuff but it's not going to arrive till the end of March. It's just been very painful to wait and know it takes so long to get here. I really don't know what to do with myself.

I'm tired of having to pretend with anyone and just doing all the things one is expected to do in life. I'm tired of feeling super lonely and just having constantly empty days.

And now knowing that I have to wait this long for this, it's a lot. I've tried so many times before to end things via pills. I also tried the exit bag method in the past from a book about euthanasia but I miserably failed because I didn't realize helium tanks nowadays for balloon parties are basically suicide proof. I guess my biggest problem is that I don't like the idea of dying in a painful way or a manner that would be horrific for others to witness. Such as falling or I guess hanging.

Who else is in a waiting period and how do you handle these moments? What do you do with yourself?

Try to find the small bits of joy in your life? Any movies you're wanting to see or eating your favorite foods? This is what I'm trying to hang onto, the small moments where I don't feel as miserable.

 

[justtiredofit]

In waiting too. I thought I might be able to make it, but then more crap was dumped on me today that I'm writing this in tears and just wishing I could end it now.

 

[Ticket 2 Heaven]

Take hot showers

 

[Interloper]

Not waiting for anything to arrive per se, just the right moment but... blasting music/a tv show/a livestream/playing a videogame all at the same time to prevent myself from forming any coherent thoughts until then. Oh and stupidly make new acquaintances, that worked for a while. But it also adds extra guilt so all in all would not recommend.

 

[lili]

Yeah I feel really sad right now, sometimes I feel a little better because I have activities to do but then when I have to be at my house by myself I just don't know what to do. I find myself sometimes just messaging different people and engaging in sexual acts with them, even if they care nothing about me. I just don't have any other friends.

I'll try to see if I get myself something to eat to feel better. I play music all day long usually. I'll try to see what I can do.

 

[Red Scare]

Try to find the small bits of joy in your life? Any movies you're wanting to see or eating your favorite foods? This is what I'm trying to hang onto, the small moments where I don't feel as miserable.

I was doing that for a while but it stopped working, the intrusive thoughts just become too much that I find myself unable to enjoy doing anything. All I think about is how shitty things are and what is wrong with my life. There are just not enough distractions in the world to keep my mind preoccupied.

 

[Interloper]

I find myself sometimes just messaging different people and engaging in sexual acts with them, even if they care nothing about me.

That sounds counter-productive, does that not make you feel terrible? If you want to snack, maybe a big bag of sunflower seeds, that kept me busy for a while, physically and mentally.

 

[lili]

It does but I also feel terrible when I'm alone, and I guess it is a reminder of how terrible life really is. How no one truly cares about anyone.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

How no one truly cares about anyone.

Your depression may be telling you that, but it isn't true.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess the best way to cope with life is to sleep as much as possible, it is a way to pass the time. Sleep can be a break from this life. In my case I am trapped in this world as suicide is so difficult and there is nothing that I enjoy. I have no choice but to suffer everyday. I know that this life can be awful when you do not want to be here. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[lili]

Thank you everyone. I do actually sometimes prefer to sleep to cope. Although at the moment I don't have access to pills or sleeping medications which makes it easier to be done with a day if you just don't want to deal with that day in general. It seems today is one of those times were I wish I could sleep and skip several days.

 

[Judah]

I face my existence with my addictions and my hobbies, I wish I was able to sleep more than usual but it is impossible for me

 

[sad_dude]

Same question here