Help How to cope with jealousy so bad you wanna sh?

[rotting_plum]

Tl;dr: Im rlly jealous with no reason to be and wanna self harm because of it, im not in a relationship.

We are not together, i have a huge, obessive crush on him but we are just friends. He talks to A LOT of women, but they are all just friends also. Hes not the playboy type, hes a nerd who play videogames all day and plays dungeons and dragons with his friends. That means theres rlly no reason for me to be jealous, BUT he is helping that one girl with all her problems and he makes sure that hes always available in case she feels bad. My problems are worse than hers btw.

The jealousy is so bad that i get the intense urge to self harm everytime I think of them or see that he is texting her. I've been clean for about a month but ive already relapsed thrice because the jealousy in the past.

Im in therapy btw.
I dont rlly have any mental illnesses that could cause such jealousy i think? Im diagnosed with depression, social anxiety, autism and ocd.

 

[lysergamide]

I can also be subjected to big spurs of jealousy, I'm borderline. But the question I usually ask myself is "are they worth my time" especially if I'm not in a relationship with said person.
It's about realizing said person doesn't belong to you and that there are plenty of fishes in the sea, about loving love. Elsewhere.
Sometimes it's also about smaller selfish things:
- does SH really bring me the relief I think it does? Let's say I cut, unless I like the current aesthetic, it will mess me up and my skin will be ugly/uglier than it currently is, we don't want that.
- do I look pathetic in this state, if I were to open up to that guy, would he not see me as an insane piece of work? Would he stop? Would he care?
- do I have a chance with him? Am I'm I wasting my time and emotions on something that can be avoided?

It's complicated, people work differently but to me it's about reversing the balances and thinking of that person as disposable. If they hinder your way of life simply by breathing because you're unable to have healthy feelings for them, then you've got to fool yourself.
It's about thinking "if I want to I can cut them off tomorrow and never let them in my life again just because I want it to". It works for me, I don't know about others.
Therefore I can move on from jealousy easily by assuming someone's play in my life is always short and temporary. If it makes sense.