How To Avoid Upsetting Loved Ones

[ETgirl]

Pretty set on ctb'ing and because the UK are probably gonna crack down on laws regarding SN, I'm being pushed into my decision sooner than I'd have thought.

I'm all alone, always have been really. People get close to me and then it ends up with me feeling like an idiot because it's not in their interests, or I get used for a bit of fun with no commitment from them. I don't do temporary. Or short-term.

Nobody loves me. Nobody wants me.

And I don't want a life of misery.

Yet short-termers will still keep dipping into my life and pushing the idea that I should keep living.

The truth is that the only thing keeping me here is that I don't want to hurt the few family members I have. It's possible my mother would be heartbroken. Maybe my siblings.

How do I get over this?

I suppose I can't. It's just got to be done and there is no way around it.

But I cannot live for others. I refuse.

 

[ETgirl]

Bump

 

[Darkover]

it's almost impossible to completely avoid hurting others due to the interconnected nature of human relationships. The emotional impact on others is not always predictable or within the control of the person considering suicide, the emotional pain for loved ones—family, friends, or even acquaintances—can be profound. People often experience grief, guilt, confusion, and a sense of loss, questioning whether they could have done something to prevent it.

 

[CantDoIt]

So it might not be something you can get over. There are a lot of stories of people with spouses, boyfriends, family, etc, who ctb'd. You always have to understand that there will be someone sad due to your death and weigh the options. How would they feel knowing you're suffering and presumably can't get better? It's that kind of thing I think about.

 

[uglyugly]

I can't live for others, either. Really none of us can. It's not fair to us and not for the person we're living for, either. They shouldn't be dependent on us living or dying or doing anything else for them. (An obvious exception is a parent with children) but just people you know from work, school, life or whatever? Nope. No one owes them a thing.

I think it's impossible not to upset loved ones when a person ctb. Unless they have been in the same place we are, they don't understand the desire to ctb and nothing you say or do will change that. Society itself does not help as it thinks ctb is a bad thing. For me, I'll do what I want - no one owns me, no one has the right to say whether I live or die, and no one controls me. I don't owe people to stay alive just for them.

 

[ETgirl]

it's almost impossible to completely avoid hurting others due to the interconnected nature of human relationships. The emotional impact on others is not always predictable or within the control of the person considering suicide, the emotional pain for loved ones—family, friends, or even acquaintances—can be profound. People often experience grief, guilt, confusion, and a sense of loss, questioning whether they could have done something to prevent it.

You're right. Even my mental health breakdown last month made my mother cry. Said it was affecting her mental health. But I'm in too much pain and I'm not going to live for others. It is absolutely unbearable.

Thanks for your reply.

So it might not be something you can get over. There are a lot of stories of people with spouses, boyfriends, family, etc, who ctb'd. You always have to understand that there will be someone sad due to your death and weigh the options. How would they feel knowing you're suffering and presumably can't get better? It's that kind of thing I think about.

I've told my mother for years that I don't want to be around anymore. She has seen my pain. My siblings know of it too. People have tried their best to help but it's not enough that that's just the harsh reality. I do have a feeling they'd take no issue with putting me on a ward if they knew I had complete intentions of ctb'ing. Well I'm not going to let anyone take my right away, my only chance at peace.

 

[-Link-]

@ETgirl the short answer of course is that there is no avoiding upsetting loved ones. If this is even a concern for you at all, then their grief will be profound.

The longer answer involves an option that is a lot easier said than done... You tell your family of your plans. You communicate to them about your intentions, you explain your reasons, and you do what you need to do to get them on board with it (or as much as they can be), bearing in mind that a passive acceptance is probably the most that loved ones could offer any of us under current laws.

I think you and I -- and anybody else reading this -- know the gravity and difficulty of what this option would entail.

But it is the longer answer to your question.

It's grossly unfair to you that you're in this position. It's a failure of our society and our governments that we don't have assisted dying services in place that could allow us to make decisions with proper medical and family support.

I sympathize and empathize with you all day long on this because this is the only reason I'm still alive right now -- to keep my family from going through this.

I really am sorry you're in this position.

 

[ETgirl]

@ETgirl the short answer of course is that there is no avoiding upsetting loved ones. If this is even a concern for you at all, then their grief will be profound.

The longer answer involves an option that is a lot easier said than done... You tell your family of your plans. You communicate to them about your intentions, you explain your reasons, and you do what you need to do to get them on board with it (or as much as they can be), bearing in mind that a passive acceptance is probably the most that loved ones could offer any of us under current laws.

I think you and I -- and anybody else reading this -- know the gravity and difficulty of what this option would entail.

But it is the longer answer to your question.

It's grossly unfair to you that you're in this position. It's a failure of our society and our governments that we don't have assisted dying services in place that could allow us to make decisions with proper medical and family support.

I sympathize and empathize with you all day long on this because this is the only reason I'm still alive right now -- to keep my family from going through this.

I really am sorry you're in this position.

I cannot tell anyone. They'd do everything to stop me or talk me out of it. They'd put me on a ward. I'm not letting that happen.

They will only accept my death wish when I have received it. Then there's nothing they can do.

It is unfair and I'm sorry to hear you're in the same situation. Thank you for your reply. I wish you peace.