Even despite being here for years now I'm still not used to it and just like wtf whenever this happens. It never gets easier and sometimes I just want to just stop caring but I can't. I'm crying so fucking bad right now over @TheHatedOne dying and I just... like fuck man I'm speechless. Fuck grief. The only things that help is time and things will pass sure and yea I didn't know them personally but it's still a goddamn mindfuck. Grief over an online friend is probably one of the most indescribable things to experience. I'm sorry to bother any of you I guess needed to vent or would like advice but all fucking advice feels so empty to me especially when it comes to grief.
Anxieyote
Sobriety over everything else • 30 • Midwest
- Mar 24, 2021
- 445
They posted very frequently on this forum, which makes it harder. Every person here is noted, and they leave an impact just by being here.
I knew @TheHatedOne dealt a lot with not feeling cared about, and I wish someone could've made them feel valued and loved as much as they needed It. Some of us find it hard to believe we are loved or liked even when we are told, so I could relate to them not being comforted by the assurances they did receive from some of the users here.
I knew @TheHatedOne dealt a lot with not feeling cared about, and I wish someone could've made them feel valued and loved as much as they needed It. Some of us find it hard to believe we are loved or liked even when we are told, so I could relate to them not being comforted by the assurances they did receive from some of the users here.
angiegirl30
Student
- Jan 20, 2022
- 112
I feel at a loss too. Even though I contemplate ctb off an on, I find it hard when someone else goes. Even though I don't know them. I think it goes to show that we have compassion and humanity still left inside of us.
Crazy4u
Enlightened
- Sep 29, 2021
- 1,318
I didn't expect @TheHatedOne to ctb so soon. I hope he is in a better place now. I wish we (ss members) have an island to ourselves. Life would be much better
Interloper
■
- Jul 23, 2021
- 688
Don't know. I've tried all distractions available to me but it just stays in the back of my head, not gone. Can't even try to sleep because there's just a uncomfortable sting/weight on my chest still. Did you speak with them often?
Manaaja
euROPE
- Sep 10, 2018
- 1,382
I really liked them too, they were kind and nice, and I feel guilty of not chatting with them more. (They sent me a message and I never remembered to reply). I hope that whatever their situation is now, they have found peace. And if they survived the attempt, I hope they are okay.
I want to say more, but I don't know how to word it, I feel really sad. I'll miss them a lot.
I want to say more, but I don't know how to word it, I feel really sad. I'll miss them a lot.
I can't deal with it and it always hurts.
Actually the ways I deal with it are the other problems. Being anhedonic and my brain could be numb, or being in pain from the many physical and mental problems.
There is a way and its the thing I still didn't do which is ctb and stopping the floods and tsunamis of losses.
Unfortunately I couldn't talk much because of my pain and conditions and my replies were too late.
Actually the ways I deal with it are the other problems. Being anhedonic and my brain could be numb, or being in pain from the many physical and mental problems.
There is a way and its the thing I still didn't do which is ctb and stopping the floods and tsunamis of losses.
Unfortunately I couldn't talk much because of my pain and conditions and my replies were too late.
losing anyone is so hard like fuck there are just no words that really make it better. i'm not really sure how to even deal with losing someone and a lot of the "how to deal with grief" articles and what not online are kind of shit tbh, although if they end up helping some people then good ofc. but i've found most of what i've read to be quite empty. and a lot of them seem to give grief more worth by if someone was a blood relative or not and don't seem to recognize other relationships and their meaning. but i think it's important to try and remember that our feelings are valid.
and i know it doesn't mean much, but sending love your way.
and i know it doesn't mean much, but sending love your way.
Silenos
Ṿ̸̄Ọ̶͂Ỉ̶͉D̴̞͝ ̴̲̐A̷̾͜W̷̪͒Ā̵̯I̵͍̅T̵̛͔S̷̗͛
- Jul 25, 2020
- 1,057
Here's the realest advice I can give you. You deal with it by allowing yourself to feel the pain when it comes up. When it becomes unbearable it's okay to find distractions.
But most of all, overcoming grief takes time. It is inescapable, and there's no way to speed up the process. It's better to accept this than to fight it.
Angst Filled Fuck Up
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2018
- 2,923
Oh shit I didn't know they ctb. I wish they had been treated better in life. So many people suffer at the hands of assholes all their lives. RIP and love to all.
forgotten15
Specialist
- Aug 24, 2021
- 332
I understand how you feel. His death affected me aswell even though we didn't get to chat. His last message is heartbreaking.
Just wanted to say Thank You to everyone in this thread for trying to help and give advice however you could. Love to you all. 
My two cents, just a thought that occurred is perhaps we build up a massive love for this person more so because their flaws are not has hard to see online, they don't effect us and they are more honest. Basically everything good is amplified and everything bad is made less significant.
Foresight
Enlightened
- Jun 14, 2019
- 1,397
He was someone you just wanted to reach into the screen and hug if possible. Grief is a form of love, and even with how difficult it is to feel we need to honor it. He was a true presence and you cared about him. I'm so sorry, I didn't expect to see them leave so soon either.
