Venting How should I prepare SN if I wanted to die outside?

[shironeko]

I already caused a lot of troubles to others. I am disappointed to myself, so as others.
I don't want my body to be found by anyone.
I'm so tired, and have no idea how to prepare SN if I want to die outside. I don't know how much water is enough to mix with oxazepam. I don't know how can I carry bottles to somewhere that no one can find me.

I can't understand myself. My life is miserable. I hate everything. I hate myself. I wanna break every mirror and every glass just because of I can see my face and my body in reflection. Why didn't I die sooner?

 

[WonderWhatsOutThere]

If you want to do it outside. Get a portable scale to measure the SN (assuming you have more than what you need), a few bottles of water, a motor and pestle to crush the benzo, and measuring cups (in mL)to get the right amount of water.

You need to mix enough water with the Oxazepam for it to fully dissolve. There's no set amount of water you need to use. Try to use only as much water as is necessary, you don't want to dilute the mixture too much.

Where do you plan to do it outside? I would also like to do it outside but can't find a good enough spot where no one would find me, so I might have to rent a hotel room instead but I'd rather not spend more money than I have to