how should I ctb?

[lucretiareverie]

this is probably going to be my most bizarre internet post, but oh well.

I've always knew I was going to eventually ctb, even as a child. I don't wanna trauma dump here too much but I have PTSD from my really fucked up childhood and that has haunted me everywhere. I cannot find peace or form relationships, not even strong friendships, and I have a horrible self harm habit. I don't want to live like this anymore. I want contentment, I want to stop carrying this suffering but I don't have anywhere to put it. I don't have anyone to talk to, I'm overall just tired of feeling the same way without change no matter what I try.

I want to ctb but I'm unsure of what method I could use. I have access to rope and medications, but I read about overdosing on this forum and from what I've seen it's not a good method. I want to try and ensure that only first responders would see my body but I don't even know how I could ensure that. I was thinking of just cutting myself but I saw that method was horrible as well. I appreciate all help.

 

[Forveleth]

No one here can tell you how to kill yourself. The best we can do is offer resources so you can decide for yourself.

Suicide Resource Compilation

All the links to threads, videos, audio, downloads, and information found here are being made available only for educational purposes, and have been shared by users; we cannot assure the accuracy of the data. This means the way you use this data is fully your responsibility, that you need to...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[Schizo_turk]

like the person above me said, review all methods and see what suits your need.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really sounds like you've suffered a lot, it's so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you find the freedom you wish for.

 

[lucretiareverie]

No one here can tell you how to kill yourself. The best we can do is offer resources so you can decide for yourself.

Suicide Resource Compilation

All the links to threads, videos, audio, downloads, and information found here are being made available only for educational purposes, and have been shared by users; we cannot assure the accuracy of the data. This means the way you use this data is fully your responsibility, that you need to...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Thank you for this

It really sounds like you've suffered a lot, it's so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you find the freedom you wish for.

Thank you, this means a lot. I hope you do as well.

 

[Ezpz0109]

I relate to you, everything you said, everything, except self harm. I never had it in me. I have certain habits, i don't know if that's self harm though. I'm sorry your life has led you here. I hope you find the calm and peace that you have been longing for. If you want to talk about anything at all, feel free to PM me.

 

[human909]

Unfortunately no one here can tell you how to ctb but like forveleth said you could check out the suicide resources completion. Welcome here by the way and hope you find this site useful.

 

[lucretiareverie]

Unfortunately no one here can tell you how to ctb but like forveleth said you could check out the suicide resources completion. Welcome here by the way and hope you find this site useful.

Thank you for the welcome, I've gone through some resources and they have been really helpful.

I relate to you, everything you said, everything, except self harm. I never had it in me. I have certain habits, i don't know if that's self harm though. I'm sorry your life has led you here. I hope you find the calm and peace that you have been longing for. If you want to talk about anything at all, feel free to PM me.

I'm really glad you could relate. I hope you find peace as well.

For self-harm, anything you do to harm yourself intentionally is self-harm. Even if it's not cutting, it could be burning yourself, exercising too much (if you do this to inflict harm), misusing alcohol or drugs, or even scratching yourself. Some are more severe than others, but they all count as self-harm. Most people think only cutting/burning counts, but that's untrue.

Feel free to message me too. It's comforting to see people like me.