How probable is a complete mental breakdown?

[throwaway123]

Hey guys,

I haven't been very active for a while . Mainly because I'm waiting. In a couple of days I plan to jump at night. Now I've only been there once before at night and the last time I had a severe panic attack.
I'm afraid that it might get so bad that my survival instinct takes over and calls the ambulance. Yes, my panic attacks are that bad.

Even though I'm at risk of being sectioned again I want to take the risk. I've been here way to long. I'm so tired and all I've been doing is turning in circles.

What do you think?

 

[Sayo]

I think I can understand many reasons why you might panic when thinking about jumping and/or dying, but what do you think would make you call the ambulance?

To have a sense that someone is rescuing you, to help you get down, because you just want the panic to stop and think treatment could still help you? Does contacting others in such a situation bring you relief?

I know from experience panic attacks are irrational and hard to analyse in the moment, but do you have any particular reason to think you would call the ambulance as opposed to freak out and then climb down?

edit: Wait, is it because your panic attacks make you feel like you are gonna die e.g. of a heart attack, so you call the ambulance because of that? I've been on the floor thinking I'm dying while I hyperventilate before too, it's just impossible to comment on your situation without understanding a little bit more about what drives your actions.

 

[Dani Paradox]

I can't understand calling an ambulance...

 

[throwaway123]

I think I can understand many reasons why you might panic when thinking about jumping and/or dying, but what do you think would make you call the ambulance?

To have a sense that someone is rescuing you, to help you get down, because you just want the panic to stop and think treatment could still help you? Does contacting others in such a situation bring you relief?

I know from experience panic attacks are irrational and hard to analyse in the moment, but do you have any particular reason to think you would call the ambulance as opposed to freak out and then climb down?

edit: Wait, is it because your panic attacks make you feel like you are gonna die e.g. of a heart attack, so you call the ambulance because of that? I've been on the floor thinking I'm dying while I hyperventilate before too, it's just impossible to comment on your situation without understanding a little bit more about what drives your actions.

It's hard to explain but it feels like my heart is exploding. Like you're going to lose your mind. I guess it's because of my condition. I don't want to further talk about it but I would never consciously call an ambulance. It's just the panic of the situation, fear,hopelessness. It's hard to explain but if you've ever been very close to death you'd understand the fear. It is overwhelming, almost like a person swallowing you and tearing you into pieces.
I can't find the words,sorry.