- Jun 18, 2018
my life is so tedious and uneventful that the thought of ctb is for me on par with traveling through space. The fact that I can initiate the most dramatic experience of my life makes me feel really alive.
Yes same hereEvery day I think about it and feel a sense of peace, followed by a twisting nausea in the pit of my stomach. Probably fear, but I need to overcome it.
Same. My method arrived finally, so I am such more at peace. Knowing that at any time I can leave.Not euphoric but it often calms me down a little bit.
My life is nothing but loneliness, failures and disgust. Often times I wake up at 4 or 5am, remembering my situation (age, looks, money, loss of hope in every aspect of my life), heart racing. The thought of ending it all provides some kind of relief.