How often do you get euphoric about ctb?

[Volatile]

my life is so tedious and uneventful that the thought of ctb is for me on par with traveling through space. The fact that I can initiate the most dramatic experience of my life makes me feel really alive.

 

[Samuel]

Every other day

 

[Readytogo227]

Every day I think about it and feel a sense of peace, followed by a twisting nausea in the pit of my stomach. Probably fear, but I need to overcome it.

 

[Samuel]

Every day I think about it and feel a sense of peace, followed by a twisting nausea in the pit of my stomach. Probably fear, but I need to overcome it.

Yes same here

 

[Imaginos]

Not very, I'm afraid. In the past I'd usually get a (fairly) consistent feeling of morbid peace from contemplating my own demise. These days however, it's pretty rare that I feel anything other than sheer emptiness. The very same kind I feel all the time. Plaguing me morning, noon & night. Like a thick, imperceptible fog encircled around my head.

 

[Definitelyworried]

I used to fantasize about hanging myself, but now that I've tried a few times and have a more realistic idea of what it is, I'm very saddened and afraid of the thought of me having to go through with it. I'm saddened at the fact that I've been driven to having to see this as a considerable option.
So not euphoric about it, but it is constantly painfully in my mind.

 

[millefeui]

Depends a lot on how things are going in life. These days, it doesn't happen super often — Although earlier today I felt really good about the fact I will not have to live for another decade (most likely). I even put on some of my "suicide songs" to listen to.

 

[ReleaseMe]

Not euphoric but it often calms me down a little bit.
My life is nothing but loneliness, failures and disgust. Often times I wake up at 4 or 5am, remembering my situation (age, looks, money, loss of hope in every aspect of my life), heart racing. The thought of ending it all provides some kind of relief.

 

[Readytogo227]

Not euphoric but it often calms me down a little bit.
My life is nothing but loneliness, failures and disgust. Often times I wake up at 4 or 5am, remembering my situation (age, looks, money, loss of hope in every aspect of my life), heart racing. The thought of ending it all provides some kind of relief.

Same. My method arrived finally, so I am such more at peace. Knowing that at any time I can leave.

 

[wanttodie]

Every day I think about it

 

[Sunttu1997]

It was very calming at first because all my troubles melted away but now as the day comes closer I feel fear. I just have to fucking jump. Cant be that hard haha

 

[Ironborn]

Every now and then when I think about it I am more at peace than at any other time I can remember.
If this is how most people feel most of the time they have been on easy mode their entire lives.
I just want my mind to be quiet.