R_N
-Memento Mori-
- Dec 3, 2019
- 1,442
I honestly feel like a very different person than how I was as younger. I still have some parts of myself retained but things I held dear are not important to me anymore. I often analyze myself and others and see every being as a robot.
When I see people rationalizing their emotions and their need to act on every single one they look drugged and irrational to me. I also do this sometimes still but after I cool down I always see myself as a puppet. After all I am human too but the difference between me and others often is they never think about their body/brain or why they do things they do. They want things they feel strong about to happen at any cost and will use language to manipulate their surroundings to get there if possible. Or their state to be validated. This is why it is hard for me to take anyone seriously, and this life. It is like I am observing some animals in robotic motions. Almost no one stands out or scratches the surface. They want to feel good and that is the most important thing. Acting out on impulse and never thinking about it.
I felt like making this post after I had something happening today that would irritate the old me. I was somewhere I didn't want to be but I didn't feel any rush to go do what I wanted instead. I could stay there forever and wouldn't feel anything worth mentioning about it. Just made me realize how our brains manipulate us when there is a strong drive to do something.
It is so weird. This life and bodies we are. Our needs. And to what goal? Feel good at any cost while truth is irrelevant? Our brains can't even ponder the reality. We are all on copium and create attachments that are bound to break. And we give them value and cling to them regardless. So dumb but as humans we can only crave to feel good and avoid feeling bad most of the time. Or we can just be numb which is often the case for me. I would rather be numb than ever go back to being a full puppet tho. Still a puppet now but I am aware of it.
What is your story?
When I see people rationalizing their emotions and their need to act on every single one they look drugged and irrational to me. I also do this sometimes still but after I cool down I always see myself as a puppet. After all I am human too but the difference between me and others often is they never think about their body/brain or why they do things they do. They want things they feel strong about to happen at any cost and will use language to manipulate their surroundings to get there if possible. Or their state to be validated. This is why it is hard for me to take anyone seriously, and this life. It is like I am observing some animals in robotic motions. Almost no one stands out or scratches the surface. They want to feel good and that is the most important thing. Acting out on impulse and never thinking about it.
I felt like making this post after I had something happening today that would irritate the old me. I was somewhere I didn't want to be but I didn't feel any rush to go do what I wanted instead. I could stay there forever and wouldn't feel anything worth mentioning about it. Just made me realize how our brains manipulate us when there is a strong drive to do something.
It is so weird. This life and bodies we are. Our needs. And to what goal? Feel good at any cost while truth is irrelevant? Our brains can't even ponder the reality. We are all on copium and create attachments that are bound to break. And we give them value and cling to them regardless. So dumb but as humans we can only crave to feel good and avoid feeling bad most of the time. Or we can just be numb which is often the case for me. I would rather be numb than ever go back to being a full puppet tho. Still a puppet now but I am aware of it.
What is your story?
Last edited:
