I have one that probably no-one else has tried - Botox for depression. I shit you not.
I tried it. I just had one treatment though and it didn't do anything - but if you look up the research papers they are surprisingly positive. I forgot I tried it but on a FB group about depression I just saw my post about Botox. Back in the days when I was still hoping to find something that helped.
Okay here is the big list:
Drugs they prescribe
Fluoextine - was permanently helpful in that my suicidal thoughts are not loud like they used to be, though they are still constant. They were loud before I took Fluoextine. It also got me out of bed for about a month in total which was better than being bed bound
citalopram - don't think it did anything
Mirtazapine/venlaflaxine combo - don't remember it. Mirt is a med that helped me maybe for a week or two or even a month to feel brighter. It also made me fatter. Stupid psychiatrist refused to increase it (when it stopped working) and so I came off all my meds and got sectioned. whoopee. Don't know how to get this one back, it did help for a bit.
Sertraline - only hacked it for a week as it increased my agitation. Maybe I should take it again, who knows.
Lamotrigine - did nothing for me
Lithium - does nothing for me but the psych thinks I need it cos they gave me a bipolar diagnosis which I don't agree with
Quietipane - currently on this and it's helping a bit. I have finally got to the point where I will take any toxic offensive drug going because every day is just so shit.
Drugs they didn't prescribe
LSD - has saved my life twice and lifted me out of being bed bound/about to hang myself. Doesn't always work like that though unfortunately. I also just don't get a normal psychedelic experience on any drug, including LSD. Which I kind of like as I am not really interested in psychedelic experiences, it's been more to try and treat myself for illness. But also shows how useless and fucked up my brain is - that it can't even trip.
Ketamine - I can dream this takes away my depression even for a day. And it did take away my depression maybe for two days of my life, but it doesn't have that effect on me in general. When I watch my bf on it - he trips and is happy. When I take it, it sometimes helps me cry a bit or see things more clearly but in general not much effect.
MDMA - oh I love you. Why did you only work once in my life for me? why is my brain so shit that I can't enjoy these drugs.
Cocaine - is really the main thing that helps me. I don't get a come down on it. If I have some of it, then I feel better for the rest of the day. It's quite amazing. It had stopped working like this since I last got sectioned, but I have discovered that if I stay on quietipane then cocaine works again for me. God knows why. If a line or two a day helps me function....can I afford it. Am I better off having more of it a couple of times a week. I can't afford it, but it is the only thing that helps. I'm in my late forties and only discovered it works for me in the past couple of years. I'd always avoided it as so expensive but it does help me.
Ayahuasca. This gave me psychosis and I believed in it for years because I was so tied in to a load of hippie bullshit and crappy spiritual self help shit. Also, it did help me - it took away my self hatred. But I still have depression. Maybe if only I took ayahuasca again, but it feels too late now.
Ibogaine - I tried this at home and recommend nobody tries this at home. I am pretty sure it is promising for addiction and for depression but I am not running after it and would not known where to find it.
Kambo: frog poison stuff. This did help my depression one time as I had no appetite whatsoever and was getting really distressed at all the suffering in the world and feeling like it was my fault. After Kambo, I could eat which was something. I don't think it cures depression or whatever but there were people there who found it helpful - including a former police officer with ptsd.
Peyote - the 'visions' I saw on peyote....but no cure for depression. I wish someone had just told me that drugs talk shit to you, as for years I believed in the drugs more than reality.
Tramadol - I recommend this for depression. I can't source it these days. It gave me the occasional day off. I don't like it that much as it is quite a spacey high for me, but it is better than suicidal thoughts.
Cannabis - well this is my longest relationship. Has made me crazy but has also given me the most relief. I didn't really have a choice, it was the only choice and the only thing.
Other stuff:
Flow Neuroscience headset. This gave me one (excellent) week off depression. It then stopped helping. It's £78 a month so or I could have bought a headset. That week off was lovely, I was a different person literally.
Scalp acupuncture - there is a specialist in London who specialises in acupuncture for depression. It did help me for two days, it was quite amazing, my language use improved as well as my happiness but then crashed back. My brain likes to reset to miserable.
rTMS - wow you were expensive! Something like 7K. This helped me for two or three days - during which time I wanted to marry the TMS machine! Then it stopped working, I had 15 more treatments and nada.
It's funny. Therapy has been so pointless for me I nearly forgot to list it. But I have had several one to one therapists, all entirely useless for my mental illness and all making money from me when i was clearly desperately mentally ill. One arsehole took £150 an hour to listen to my suicidal ideation and sobbing when what he should have done is said that I needed a psychiatrist urgently. Arsehole.
Group therapy was kind of more helpful then one to one. That was in the days when I thought I would feel better if I punched some pillows and talked about my family or some shit. Now I know I have a mental illness and none of that stuff helps it at all.
