How much time do you think do you have left?

[noname223]

I think on Monday I will crash from my most recent love delusion. And I am simply not able to stomach more of that. I consider to lie to all of them. Even my closest friends about a new order of SN. I am in a mixed manic depressive episodes and this life is hell.

When I am around people I always pretend to be in a good mood. The manic symptoms help to act. I could imagine the next 6 months are the my last on earth. I am tired. I am very tired. It could happen faster. But it also could happen later. I had a horrendous trip to a clinic for acute suicidal people recently. I don't want to go there again. I am desperate. The walls are closing in. Suicide has become even harder. The desperation grows.

 

[tpboy]

i can relate

 

[Forever Sleep]

Too much. However much it is, it's too much.

 

[DeadNotSleeping]

For me it feels closer to like, a doomsday clock type of thing. Some days push me closer to midnight, while other days pull me further away.

 

[whiteboyswithars]

I thought I was going to die on the 27th but some stuff happened and I had to change my plans :( I don't imagine I have too long left but it is still hard to fathom the thought of a real end

 

[Surai]

I know I will die 5-10 years from now, but the chance of speeding that up is possible in the state of myself

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I'm going to try to wait a year or so, but… I don't know. It's hard to gauge these things.

 

[CTB Dream]

Me no know need disapre fst need sleep no wake, hpn stay v dngr lng hpn vege potat