How much Nitrogen would I need to get the job done? I am trying to find a decent local supplier online, somewhere I can physically go and get it.
Husband is probably returning to work soon, so it should be easier for me to do this.
He makes me laugh, he says he wants to work afters so he can spend the morning doing stuff at home, but really, I think he wants to make sure he is home when the mail arrives, so he is certain I am not ordering drugs online. This is how bad my life is now, when someone else lets you affect their lives to this degree.
When the day comes, I am going to shut myself in the spare bedroom, put something heavy against the door to stop my dog getting to me and ripping the bag off my head and becoming distressed once I've gone. This will destroy this beautiful animal, I wish I could post a photo of her on here, but people will know it's me if I do. She's a mixed mastiff, looks like a huge bull type, people are scared to death of her but she's harmless. Don't get me wrong, she'd dismember you if you hurt me, but most of the time we just sit side by side on the sofa, her head on my shoulder. I wish in some ways things were better so I could at least spend the rest of her life with her, she's the best and only friend I have left now. I think she can feel or sense the vibrating sensations in my body that have partly driven me to this place, that nobody else can, it's weird.
Anyway, I am hoping to ctb at some point in the coming few months or so, I have not set a date, I am still trying to work through a few things in my own mind before I go.
Husband is probably returning to work soon, so it should be easier for me to do this.
He makes me laugh, he says he wants to work afters so he can spend the morning doing stuff at home, but really, I think he wants to make sure he is home when the mail arrives, so he is certain I am not ordering drugs online. This is how bad my life is now, when someone else lets you affect their lives to this degree.
When the day comes, I am going to shut myself in the spare bedroom, put something heavy against the door to stop my dog getting to me and ripping the bag off my head and becoming distressed once I've gone. This will destroy this beautiful animal, I wish I could post a photo of her on here, but people will know it's me if I do. She's a mixed mastiff, looks like a huge bull type, people are scared to death of her but she's harmless. Don't get me wrong, she'd dismember you if you hurt me, but most of the time we just sit side by side on the sofa, her head on my shoulder. I wish in some ways things were better so I could at least spend the rest of her life with her, she's the best and only friend I have left now. I think she can feel or sense the vibrating sensations in my body that have partly driven me to this place, that nobody else can, it's weird.
Anyway, I am hoping to ctb at some point in the coming few months or so, I have not set a date, I am still trying to work through a few things in my own mind before I go.
